I know what that's like

We are relational beings.  We have an innate desire to connect and relate to others.  Even for those of us who claim “I don’t like people” or that “I’m happier to be alone”, if we’re honest, we’re more interested in managing the who/when/where of interacting with others than we are looking to cut off all connections with the rest of humanity.

Relationships are built on similarities.  When we first meet someone, the purpose of our early conversation is to probe for connection points: What kind of work do you do?  Are you married?  Do you have any kids?  Have you lived here long?  Where did you live previously?  What school did you go to?  What sports teams do you cheer for?  How do you spend your spare time?

As soon as they mention a similarity, we jump in with a “Me, too!”. 

Early on in any relationship (be it romantic, friendship, coworker, etc.), the similarities we acknowledge are typically positive ones.  While sports teams and having same-aged children are common points of connection, any life event can become something that builds a relationship.  Interviewing and getting a new job, purchasing a car, and going back to school are all experiences that others have had.  These are situations were we can reach out and relate to someone else, either for advice or just to talk through the situation, because we know they’ve been through it before.

However, the deeper a relationship goes, the more likely we are willing to share the “Me, too’s” of life’s painful situations. 

·       When a family member gets cancer, you’re grateful for everyone who is empathetic and offers to pray, but how much more comforting is it when that one friend says, “I’ve been there”?

·       When your child is struggling at school, the failed assignments keep piling up, and the stress level in your home continues to climb, how relieving is it to hear, “When my child was in that grade, we went through the same thing”?

·       When there’s a death in the family, especially your immediate family, the condolences offered take on a different meaning when the person offering sympathy has lost the same loved one in their own family.

In the difficult moments, the experience of others is what can keep us going and help us get through.  Other coping mechanisms aren’t anywhere near as helpful as being able to relate with another human who has had similar experiences.  Finding others with similar stories doesn’t necessarily fix the problem, but it brings a level of comfort that you can’t find in positive self-talk, escapism, or distractions.

The Apostle Paul talked about this kind of relationship sharing in his letter to the believers in Corinth:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our affliction…

Now, these verses would have been perfectly fine if Paul had stopped here.  The promise that God would comfort us in all our affliction is one that we can gladly take to the bank.  This promise does not mean that God will always remove us from our difficult situation, but it does mean that He will be with us as we live through it.

While it would be good news with just this statement alone, Paul continued:

He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Do you see?  Our pain has a purpose.

Too many of us want to avoid pain at all costs.  If it cannot be avoided outright, then we try to escape as soon as possible, or even drown the pain with some opposite pleasure.

But the cure for pain isn’t pleasure, it’s purpose.

As God provides comfort for us as we go through life’s storms, our experience becomes a resource that we can then share with others.  The God of all comfort gives us consolation, reassurance, and hope as we deal with all our afflictions…and through these difficult circumstances, He provides an example for us to later give that same comfort to others.

One last critical observation – notice that the comfort God provides will enable us to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction.  The important word to notice is the word any.  We don’t have to have an identical “Me, too” in order to provide consolation, reassurance, and hope to others.

But we must be willing to share the stuff we’ve gone through, the difficulties we’ve faced, and the comfort God provided during those times.  Doing so gives purpose to our pain, and God’s comfort to those who need it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken