I got a guy for that

It’s safe to say that the first “guy” in most people’s lives is their father.  If you have a question or a problem – especially if it’s a “How do I do this?” situation – you go to dad, expecting him to have the answer.  If, for whatever reason, dad’s not around, then sometimes mom or another guy will be able to help.  We’ll go searching all over the place for someone to help us.  Even to the internet.  

Perhaps that explains the immense popularity of the “Dad, how do I?” channel on YouTube.  Four years ago, a father started creating videos to help his adult children, and now he has almost 5 million followers.  He has videos on everything from how to tie a tie to explanations of power tools.  Many people comment that he’s the dad (and resource) they wish they had while growing up.

When you can’t do something for yourself…you need “a guy” (or “a gal”) who knows what they’re doing.  As we move through adulthood, we gather skills from our vocation or out of necessity – we learn to how to trim bushes or fix a dishwasher or build a retaining wall.  But we can’t learn to do everything.  Eventually, we need to hire out for some work.  There’s just not enough time to be our own electrician and a good plumber and build our own cabinets and know how to repair everything for our cars.

So, at some point…we need a guy.

If we don’t develop the skills ourselves, we will collect the names and contact info of those who have.

Need a plumber?  I got a guy for that.
Need  someone to take out a tree stump?  I got a guy for that.
Need a trustworthy mechanic?  I got a shop full of guys for that.
Need a new kitchen?  I don’t know a guy for that.

When I run into a situation where I don’t “know a guy” who can do what I need, what do I do?  I ask other guys I know.  Eventually, I’ll find someone else who has “got a guy” that can help me.

Making sure you “got a guy” for these kinds of physical life issues is perfectly normal, and so is seeking “a guy” out if I don’t have support in any physical area I need.  But…it’s much less common for us men to have “a guy” or seek out “a guy” when we’re feeling unsteady mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  Any recent study on loneliness bears this out.  Generally speaking, men don’t feel like they have many friends…or any friends at all, for that matter.

Outside of the transactional side of work (I do this job to help you, you do your job to help me) or your spouse, is there anyone actively present in your life that you can talk through your worries, questions, wins, fears, struggles, or dreams with?  If the loneliness studies are accurate, not many of us do.  And yet, we read this opening line to a psalm by David:

Psalm 133:1
How delightfully good when brothers live together in harmony!

It’s hard to have a delightfully good experience if we’re not connecting with others.  For several years now, I have been meeting every Thursday morning on a men’s Zoom call.  We also have a chat all 14 of us belong to, so we can stay in touch throughout the week.  With everyone’s busy schedules, it’s rare that more than half of us are on each Thursday, but we also schedule a monthly lunch for those of us that can make it.  The purpose of the group is to support each other, by either studying Scripture and finding ways to apply it to life or by talking about life events and then taking them back to God’s Word.  We’ve read through books and studied books of the Bible; discussed podcasts, articles, or current events; checked in with each other; asked for help on topics like parenting, porn, work, and anger; and generally provided a forum where guys can connect with other guys.  And yes, questions like “Does anyone got a guy who is a trustworthy mechanic?” do get asked – and at least one good option is often suggested by the group.

What we experience together matches up well with the directions Paul gave to the church in Thessalonica:

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18
And we exhort you, brothers and sisters:
warn those who are idle,
comfort the discouraged,
help the weak,
be patient with everyone.
See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone,
but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.
Rejoice always,
pray constantly,
give thanks in everything;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Because I have brothers that do these things for me, and I for them, life has more delightfully good moments to it…and life’s hard parts are easier to cope with.  Because I know when I need support in the real issues of life – I got a guy for that.

If you have a group a guys like this, great!  Keep on keeping on. 

If you have just one guy like this in your life, that’s also great – but you both should be on the lookout for someone to include.  There are plenty of guys who need what you got.

And of course, ladies need to have “a gal” for these kinds of connections, too.  Y’all are just generally better at making them than us guys are.  Truth is, we all need these real connections.  Life really does become delightfully good with them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Practical assistance

Although he had been king of Israel for many years, David suddenly found himself in the middle of a national crisis.  His third oldest son, Absalom, who had been plotting against him for years, had finally launched his revolt and had proclaimed himself as king.  When David received word of Absalom’s coup, he knew he had to act fast:

2 Samuel 15:13-17
Then an informer came to David and reported, “The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom.”

David said to all the servants with him in Jerusalem, “Get up.  We have to flee, or we will not escape from Absalom!  Leave quickly or he will overtake us quickly, heap disaster on us, and strike the city with the edge of the sword.”

The king’s servants said to the king, “Whatever my lord the king decides, we are your servants.”  Then the king set out, and his entire household followed him.  But he left behind ten concubines to take care of the palace.  So the king set out, and all the people followed him.

It wouldn’t have been enough for David to slip out and run off on his own.  In those days, when a king was overthrown, all his supporters – and especially his family members – were immediately killed to ensure there were no rivals left to oppose the new king.

In addition to saving his supporters, David also wanted to spare Jerusalem from any violence or destruction the would occur if his supporters engaged Absalom’s troops within the city.  David had to make plans – on the fly – about who stayed behind and who would travel with him.  Based upon the detail given in the rest of the chapter, the group David left with could be estimated between 750-1,000 men, women, and likely children: a mix of allies, warriors, servants, and family members.  They would be no match for the thousands of warriors at Absalom’s disposal.

David and company quickly headed to the Jordan river, likely traveling between 15 and 20 miles.  They were exhausted when they got there, so they stopped to rest (2 Samuel 16:14).  Once word arrived that Absalom was coming for them in the morning, they crossed over the Jordan river during the night.  From there, they continued their flight another 25 miles north to Mahanaim.  It was in Mahanaim that David finally received some help:

2 Samuel 17:27-29
When David came to Mahanaim, Shobi son of Nahash from Rabbah of the Ammonites, Machir son of Ammiel from Lo-debar, and Barzillai the Gileadite from Rogelim brought beds, basins, and pottery items.  They also brought wheat, barley, flour, roasted grain, beans, lentils, honey, curds, sheep, goats, and cheese from the herd for David and the people with him to eat.  They had reasoned, “The people must be hungry, exhausted, and thirsty in the wilderness.”

The Bible account doesn’t say if Shobi, Machir, and Barzillai coordinated their help or if they acted individually and simply brought what they could.  Either way, their support came at just the right time.  A group of that size would not last long without food, support, and rest.  And these regional leaders did what they could to provide for David and his people.

I find the last comment added to be rather insightful.  We don’t have to wonder why they brought their provisions.  We are given their motivation: They had reasoned, “The people must be hungry, exhausted, and thirsty in the wilderness.”

Let’s think about the situation.  National upheaval was happening.  Shobi, Machir, or Barzillai could not have stopped the coup attempt, nor would they be able to prevent civil war.  However, they recognized a need and used what resources they had to provide timely help.

The example I see for us modern folks is to do the same.  Regardless of which way the political winds are blowing, there are people who need food, support, and rest.  If you don’t know anyone personally that is struggling, it would not take much effort to identify organizations and ministries that do great work to reach those in need.

The kind of help I’m envisioning isn’t one where you just go online and donate $20.  Although that would probably be appreciated, the example provided by Shobi, Machir, and Barzillai is specific, targeted gifts that met the needs of David and those he was responsible for.  And…their gifts were personally delivered, which means these three gave their time as well. 

It’s hard to be the hands and feet of the body of Christ if we don’t get off our duffs.  Be proactive.  Be intentional.  There are many who are hungry, exhausted, and thirsty for what you have to offer – be it great or small.  Because even a small amount of support, when given personally, is a great help.

Keep Pressing,
Ken