I got a guy for that

It’s safe to say that the first “guy” in most people’s lives is their father.  If you have a question or a problem – especially if it’s a “How do I do this?” situation – you go to dad, expecting him to have the answer.  If, for whatever reason, dad’s not around, then sometimes mom or another guy will be able to help.  We’ll go searching all over the place for someone to help us.  Even to the internet.  

Perhaps that explains the immense popularity of the “Dad, how do I?” channel on YouTube.  Four years ago, a father started creating videos to help his adult children, and now he has almost 5 million followers.  He has videos on everything from how to tie a tie to explanations of power tools.  Many people comment that he’s the dad (and resource) they wish they had while growing up.

When you can’t do something for yourself…you need “a guy” (or “a gal”) who knows what they’re doing.  As we move through adulthood, we gather skills from our vocation or out of necessity – we learn to how to trim bushes or fix a dishwasher or build a retaining wall.  But we can’t learn to do everything.  Eventually, we need to hire out for some work.  There’s just not enough time to be our own electrician and a good plumber and build our own cabinets and know how to repair everything for our cars.

So, at some point…we need a guy.

If we don’t develop the skills ourselves, we will collect the names and contact info of those who have.

Need a plumber?  I got a guy for that.
Need  someone to take out a tree stump?  I got a guy for that.
Need a trustworthy mechanic?  I got a shop full of guys for that.
Need a new kitchen?  I don’t know a guy for that.

When I run into a situation where I don’t “know a guy” who can do what I need, what do I do?  I ask other guys I know.  Eventually, I’ll find someone else who has “got a guy” that can help me.

Making sure you “got a guy” for these kinds of physical life issues is perfectly normal, and so is seeking “a guy” out if I don’t have support in any physical area I need.  But…it’s much less common for us men to have “a guy” or seek out “a guy” when we’re feeling unsteady mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  Any recent study on loneliness bears this out.  Generally speaking, men don’t feel like they have many friends…or any friends at all, for that matter.

Outside of the transactional side of work (I do this job to help you, you do your job to help me) or your spouse, is there anyone actively present in your life that you can talk through your worries, questions, wins, fears, struggles, or dreams with?  If the loneliness studies are accurate, not many of us do.  And yet, we read this opening line to a psalm by David:

Psalm 133:1
How delightfully good when brothers live together in harmony!

It’s hard to have a delightfully good experience if we’re not connecting with others.  For several years now, I have been meeting every Thursday morning on a men’s Zoom call.  We also have a chat all 14 of us belong to, so we can stay in touch throughout the week.  With everyone’s busy schedules, it’s rare that more than half of us are on each Thursday, but we also schedule a monthly lunch for those of us that can make it.  The purpose of the group is to support each other, by either studying Scripture and finding ways to apply it to life or by talking about life events and then taking them back to God’s Word.  We’ve read through books and studied books of the Bible; discussed podcasts, articles, or current events; checked in with each other; asked for help on topics like parenting, porn, work, and anger; and generally provided a forum where guys can connect with other guys.  And yes, questions like “Does anyone got a guy who is a trustworthy mechanic?” do get asked – and at least one good option is often suggested by the group.

What we experience together matches up well with the directions Paul gave to the church in Thessalonica:

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18
And we exhort you, brothers and sisters:
warn those who are idle,
comfort the discouraged,
help the weak,
be patient with everyone.
See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone,
but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.
Rejoice always,
pray constantly,
give thanks in everything;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Because I have brothers that do these things for me, and I for them, life has more delightfully good moments to it…and life’s hard parts are easier to cope with.  Because I know when I need support in the real issues of life – I got a guy for that.

If you have a group a guys like this, great!  Keep on keeping on. 

If you have just one guy like this in your life, that’s also great – but you both should be on the lookout for someone to include.  There are plenty of guys who need what you got.

And of course, ladies need to have “a gal” for these kinds of connections, too.  Y’all are just generally better at making them than us guys are.  Truth is, we all need these real connections.  Life really does become delightfully good with them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

We are family

I grew up in a (mostly) stable home.  We had our ups and downs, and, like any family, there are stories on both sides of that coin.  Overall, though, I know we had it better than many other families.  Us kids knew we were loved and supported.  Additionally, we all understood that our behavior reflected on not just us, but the whole family.  And when things were rough, one thing was for sure…we took care of our issues in-house, as much as possible.

Although Jesus was sinless (and therefore the perfect son and brother), did you know that at least for some period of time, His family didn’t fully support His ministry?  They believed that His actions were causing trouble – for both Himself and for them.

Mark 3:20-21
Jesus entered a house, and the crowd gathered again so that they were not even able to eat.  When His family heard this, they set out to restrain Him, because they said, “He’s out of His mind.”

Did you see that?  Jesus’ family…set out to restrain Him.  Not exactly the picture you expected of Jesus’ mother Mary, right?

They were concerned about Him and His well-being.  It’s understandable.  After all, Jesus was doing something new.  He was leading and teaching in ways that upset the cultural and political norms.  And we all know that “new” isn’t always received as “better” by those who lives are wrapped up in the norms.

This family intervention couldn’t have been a spur-of-the-moment decision by Mary and Jesus’ siblings.  They must have talked about Jesus’ teachings, growing fame, and the all the potential repercussions for Him and for them.  They likely debated over the best way to handle it and approach Jesus, but it was at this moment they decided to act.

His family probably thought they arrived just in time, because while they were on their way, some scribes from Jerusalem were making some condemning allegations against Jesus.  In order to explain how He performed miracles and spoke against Israel’s religious teachers, the scribes accused Jesus of being possessed by Beelzebul (i.e. – Satan).  Can you imagine the shame and difficulty that kind of accusation would have caused Jesus’ family?  After walking into this situation, Jesus’ family was ready for Him to pack up and leave with them.

Mark 3:31
His mother and His brothers came, and standing outside, they sent word to Him and called Him.

What kinds of things do you think they were saying?

Jesus.  Jesus!  It’s time to come home.  Stop making crowds.  They’re dangerous and the Romans will get suspicious of you.  Please come out and go home with us!

Jesus!  The religious leaders will remove our family from the synagogue if you keep challenging their authority and making them look bad.  Please come home so we can talk about this as a family.

Jesus did not hear their pleading calls.  It’s entirely possible that He could not hear them due to the size of the crowd.  Somehow, however, they got word to Him inside the house:

Mark 3:32
A crowd was sitting around Him and told Him, “Look, your mother, your brothers, and your sisters are outside asking for you.”

What’s the correct response here?  Should he tuck tail and leave with His mother and His siblings?  However, Jesus was not a small child for them to lead around.  He was a full grown adult…a man with a God-given purpose, even if His family didn’t understand:

Mark 3:33-35
He replied to them, “Who are My mother and My brothers?”  Looking at those sitting in a circle around Him, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers!  Whoever does the will of God is My brother and sister and mother.”

In the same way Jesus could tell His mother at twelve “I must be in My Father’s house” (Luke 2:41-50), He now tells His immediate family that He must be about His Father’s business. 

This wasn’t so much a rebuke of His blood-relatives, but Jesus is showing His priority to those who are actively seeking Him.  Those in the crowd that Jesus taught were more than just curious, random strangers…often the crowds that followed Him were those who believed in Him and wanted to learn more from Him.  They were the larger group of disciples that the twelve were chosen from. 

With His declaration “Here are My mother and My brothers!”, Jesus shows that He values them as much as He does His natural-born family.  Jesus is committed to them because they are committed to the same thing He is – doing the will of God.

Maybe you didn’t grow up with the kind of family you wanted.  Maybe your family doesn’t understand this “Jesus thing” that you have and are waiting for you to “snap out of it” and come back to them. 

You might even be feeling lonely, wishing you had a mother or a brother or a sister…but never forget that once you accept Jesus’ free gift of eternal life, you are adopted into His family.  And you have connections with more people from more places and backgrounds than you’ll know what to do with.

We won’t always get along.  We won’t always agree.  But as we continue to sit at Jesus’ feet, we’ll begin to understand how close this family really is, and that we’re most united when we have the same goal…doing the will of God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken