Good FOMO

The term FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, was first coined in a 1996 economic research paper; however, the feelings associated with FOMO have been around much longer.  FOMO is an internal concern that your day-to-day life doesn’t match up with the external lives you see other people experiencing.  It is an insecurity that you are missing out on something – and because you are left out, it means that your value is less than whomever is having the experience you are not.

It's pretty apparent how FOMO can be intensified by social media.  The daily highlight reels of seeing other people’s fancy meals, vacations, kids’ achievements, perfect couple selfie poses, and witty comments can leave us thinking that others don’t have the stressors and issues that we experience and struggle with. 

A little self-analysis on this topic goes a long way.  So, let’s jump in:

The things we experience FOMO over reveal what we value the most – but more than just at the surface level.  When we see someone post about having a great meal, or a great experience, or a great relationship, we often respond with “Must be nice…”  All those things would be wonderful to have, but – and here’s where we have to be brutally honest with ourselves – don’t we also have a secret desire to have other people see us have that great thing, too?  At a very core level (one we don’t like to acknowledge)…it’s as if we want to induce FOMO in other people, as a way of propping ourselves up or establishing our own value.

We want the thing, but we also want other people to revere us for having the thing.

And that, my friends, is called pride.  It’s so sneaky, isn’t it? 

If you ate the gourmet meal, took the romantic trip, or got the promotion – and never posted on social media about it – would you still be satisfied with the experience?  Well Ken, of course I would!

Or do you find even more satisfaction with the event when sharing it on the socials, in the hopes that others will admire you for what you have?  Ok Ken, maybe I don’t want to answer that…

We like to achieve, and we like to impress our audience.  But it’s too easy to slip into a prideful mindset about achievements or good experiences, especially when we’re focused on how others will evaluate our life.  It would be easy to rant against pride here, but I think there’s a better way to deal with prideful FOMO: change our audience.

Jesus told His disciples about a man who left part of his fortune in the hands of his servants.  In today’s wages, he gave the first servant $5,000,000, the second servant $2,000,000, and the third servant $1,000,000.  After a long time, the man came back to settle accounts.  Both the first and second servants had doubled his money, but the third had done nothing.  Interestingly, the first and second servants received the exact same response:

Matthew 25:21 and 25:23
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!  You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Share your master’s joy.”

We would probably expect the one who earned another $5,000,000 to receive a higher praise or reward than the one who earned another $2,000,000 – but that’s not what happened.  The master congratulated and praised both equally.  He granted them new opportunity, both in responsibility and in a joyful relationship with him.  The one who did nothing with the master’s investment ended up giving back the money, but he also lost out on all that the others gained.

The first and second servant worked with what they had been given, with the goal of impressing their master.  They were looking forward to hearing him say ‘Well done!’.  I think it’s accurate to say that they feared missing out on their master’s approval, otherwise they wouldn’t have worked so hard or been so eager to show him what they had accomplished.

FOMO can be a good thing, but it depends on who it is that we’re trying to impress.  If we’re trying to impress other people, or even make them jealous, then we’re going to end up like the third servant and waste the talent God has given us.  We’ll also miss out on the rewards God has instore for believers who are intentionally working with and developing the gifts He’s given us.

So I encourage you to take what you have – your time, your talents, and your treasure – and invest it well.  Intentionally develop these gifts and invest them in other people, doing it so that you can point others to God.  That is what earns the ‘Well done!’ from God and leads to even greater opportunity and relationship in Eternity Future.  We certainly don’t want to miss out on that!

Keep Pressing,
Ken