No, God doesn’t think you’re a badass

Over the years, I’ve seen this meme make the rounds of social media multiple times:

God only gives us what we can handle.
Apparently, God thinks I’m a badass.

We might snicker at this (I did), but after reading it, it’s very easy to puff out our chests a little bit and think, “Yeah.  Look at all the crap I’ve dealt with.  God must think I’m pretty tough to handle going through this.”

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it is very self-centered – which is the total opposite of what is taught by God in the Scriptures.  Here are examples from both the Old Testament and New Testament:

Proverbs 16:18
Pride comes before destruction,
and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

James 4:6
But He gives greater grace.  Therefore He says:

God resists the proud
but gives grace to the humble.

So…this notion of “God only gives us what we can handle” must’ve come from somewhere, right?  Then where did people get the idea from?

Turns out that “God only gives us what we can handle” is based upon Scripture, from one of Paul’s letters to the believers in a town named Corinth…but it’s a verse that’s been twisted a bit.  Here’s the actual text:

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity.  But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.

While you can see how “God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able…to bear” can morph into “God only gives you what you can handle” – it’s also pretty clear that Paul is not talking about all of life’s circumstances that come our way.  Paul’s only talking about the times that we are tempted to do the wrong thing…and God’s help in this will be to provide the way out (even if the way He provides isn’t a way we would prefer to go).

And lest you think that it’s ok to stretch this verse to include any/all of life’s circumstances…Paul’s own experiences warn us how that’s not accurate.  In a second letter he wrote to the believers in Corinth, Paul had this to tell them:

2 Corinthians 1:8
We don’t want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction that took place in Asia.  We were completely overwhelmed – beyond our strength – so that we even despaired of life itself. 

That sounds like they got more affliction than they could handle.  Paul continued:

2 Corinthians 1:9
Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.

Paul recognized that if they puffed out their chests and relied on how tough they were, they were as good as dead.  Looking back, Paul sees that God allowed a completely overwhelming situation so that they would not trust in [themselves] but in God.  Because they humbled themselves, here’s the lesson they learned…and were later able to teach:

2 Corinthians 1:10-11
He has delivered us from such a terrible death, and He will deliver us.  We have put our hope in Him that He will deliver us again while you join in helping us by your prayers.  Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gift that came to us through the prayers of many.

Paul learned that their completely overwhelming circumstance not only brought his team closer to God, but it also provided an opportunity for others to see God in action as He answers prayers.  That is a great way to look at our suffering and trials and difficulties in life – they can drive us (and others) closer to God, but not if we attack them with a puffed up sense of self.

So no, God does not think you’re a badass.  In fact, He knows for certain that none of us are.  Life is going to beat us down, sometimes to the point where we despair of life itself.  But that doesn’t mean we’re abandoned…instead, we can be like Paul and not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.  If He can raise the dead – and He can – then He can handle getting us through whatever life throws our way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Good FOMO

The term FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, was first coined in a 1996 economic research paper; however, the feelings associated with FOMO have been around much longer.  FOMO is an internal concern that your day-to-day life doesn’t match up with the external lives you see other people experiencing.  It is an insecurity that you are missing out on something – and because you are left out, it means that your value is less than whomever is having the experience you are not.

It's pretty apparent how FOMO can be intensified by social media.  The daily highlight reels of seeing other people’s fancy meals, vacations, kids’ achievements, perfect couple selfie poses, and witty comments can leave us thinking that others don’t have the stressors and issues that we experience and struggle with. 

A little self-analysis on this topic goes a long way.  So, let’s jump in:

The things we experience FOMO over reveal what we value the most – but more than just at the surface level.  When we see someone post about having a great meal, or a great experience, or a great relationship, we often respond with “Must be nice…”  All those things would be wonderful to have, but – and here’s where we have to be brutally honest with ourselves – don’t we also have a secret desire to have other people see us have that great thing, too?  At a very core level (one we don’t like to acknowledge)…it’s as if we want to induce FOMO in other people, as a way of propping ourselves up or establishing our own value.

We want the thing, but we also want other people to revere us for having the thing.

And that, my friends, is called pride.  It’s so sneaky, isn’t it? 

If you ate the gourmet meal, took the romantic trip, or got the promotion – and never posted on social media about it – would you still be satisfied with the experience?  Well Ken, of course I would!

Or do you find even more satisfaction with the event when sharing it on the socials, in the hopes that others will admire you for what you have?  Ok Ken, maybe I don’t want to answer that…

We like to achieve, and we like to impress our audience.  But it’s too easy to slip into a prideful mindset about achievements or good experiences, especially when we’re focused on how others will evaluate our life.  It would be easy to rant against pride here, but I think there’s a better way to deal with prideful FOMO: change our audience.

Jesus told His disciples about a man who left part of his fortune in the hands of his servants.  In today’s wages, he gave the first servant $5,000,000, the second servant $2,000,000, and the third servant $1,000,000.  After a long time, the man came back to settle accounts.  Both the first and second servants had doubled his money, but the third had done nothing.  Interestingly, the first and second servants received the exact same response:

Matthew 25:21 and 25:23
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!  You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Share your master’s joy.”

We would probably expect the one who earned another $5,000,000 to receive a higher praise or reward than the one who earned another $2,000,000 – but that’s not what happened.  The master congratulated and praised both equally.  He granted them new opportunity, both in responsibility and in a joyful relationship with him.  The one who did nothing with the master’s investment ended up giving back the money, but he also lost out on all that the others gained.

The first and second servant worked with what they had been given, with the goal of impressing their master.  They were looking forward to hearing him say ‘Well done!’.  I think it’s accurate to say that they feared missing out on their master’s approval, otherwise they wouldn’t have worked so hard or been so eager to show him what they had accomplished.

FOMO can be a good thing, but it depends on who it is that we’re trying to impress.  If we’re trying to impress other people, or even make them jealous, then we’re going to end up like the third servant and waste the talent God has given us.  We’ll also miss out on the rewards God has instore for believers who are intentionally working with and developing the gifts He’s given us.

So I encourage you to take what you have – your time, your talents, and your treasure – and invest it well.  Intentionally develop these gifts and invest them in other people, doing it so that you can point others to God.  That is what earns the ‘Well done!’ from God and leads to even greater opportunity and relationship in Eternity Future.  We certainly don’t want to miss out on that!

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The wrong refuge

Financial advisor Dave Ramsey recommends taking a two-step approach to building an “Emergency Fund.”  First, save up $1,000.  Then, after you pay off all debt (except your house), your next Emergency Fund target is 3x-6x your monthly expenses.  When my wife and I first learned about this approach, it didn’t take much effort to reach the first step – we paused eating out, rearranged some spending habits, and probably sold a thing or two we weren’t using.  Paying off all consumer debt took a while, but when we finally made it, we stumbled hard on the saving up for 3x-6x our monthly expenses.

Admittedly, we lost momentum…and it was our fault.  We had freed up a lot of space in the monthly budget by getting out of debt, which gave us the flexibility to do more things than we had previously.  Haphazard saving would bring us up a little bit – then life would happen, the Emergency Fund would take a hit, and we’d start building again.  Eventually, years later, we finally hit 100% of the 3x goal.  And let me tell you – it felt great!  It was so nice to know we were very prepared for potentially sizeable emergencies. 

And then…as it always does…life happened.  Our 3x goal wasn’t 100% funded anymore.  We were sitting maybe 50-60%.  While I was grateful that we could handle the situation without going into debt, I began to notice that I was feeling “less ok” about our financial situation.  My thoughts went along these lines: I’m glad we were prepared to take a 50% hit, but it’s going to take some time to build that back up.  Another 50% size hit (or bigger) would be devastating.  And I began to feel anxious about what to do next, and my mind swirled for days around how quickly we could recover.

I hadn’t realized that while we were building up the Emergency Fund, I was slowly becoming dependent upon the amount in the Emergency Fund as validation of our (my) ability to take care of our (my) family.  It wasn’t until after the Emergency Fund took a sizable hit that I discovered how much I viewed it as our rescue in tough times.  As I thought through these feelings, I also remembered the times when I was doing the budget, I’d look at the Emergency Fund with a small amount of pride: Yeah, that amount looks good.  Look how much we (I) have prepared us for any unforeseen issues.  While I wouldn’t brag about it to others, I certainly gave myself a mental pat on the back for the on-going achievement status.

But let’s be honest and think about this realistically…God got us through plenty of other times when our Emergency Fund was much less than the 50% it was at that moment.  That’s not a reason to avoid setting aside 3x-6x of our monthly expenses for emergencies, but there’s always the possibility that an emergency will come along that has a greater price tag than any amount we could save.  My faulty thinking was that the Emergency Fund was our (my) salvation and our (my) glory.  Our rescue and proof of success shouldn’t have been tied up in how much money we had in the bank.  The whole situation really wasn’t a money issue…instead, the money revealed a heart issue that needed to be dealt with.

As we’ve progressed through Psalm 62, David and Jeduthun have pointed out the evil that others can do against us.  In these next verses, they continue to point us toward the right response:

Psalm 62:7-8
My salvation and glory depend on God, my strong rock.
My refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts before Him.
God is our refuge.
                                           Selah

God is the only one who is stable and secure.  When I trust Him with my present and future circumstances, then my soul finds rest and refuge from whatever difficult circumstances or trying people come my way.  No other person, place, or thing will satisfy my need for refuge – because there’s always the possibility that the situation could be larger than I can prepare for.  But with God as my focus and my trusted rescue, I know I am secure.

Let’s not forget that the Israelites used the psalms during the temple worship service – for singing, praying, and meditating.  That’s something for us to consider doing as well:

Has what we’ve been singing lately sounded anything like these verses?
Have our recent prayers recognized our dependency on God?

If we answered “no” to one or both of these questions…perhaps we should consider meditating on how much we need to depend on God.

While you’re meditating, pour out your heart to God.  All of it.  He can handle it. 

We find rest and refuge in Him when we do.

Keep Pressing,
Ken