Pause on abuse
Physical. Mental. Emotional. Sexual. Financial. Spiritual. Attach the word “abuse” to one of those terms and any rational person cringes at the thought of personally receiving it or witnessing another person taking it.
The Christian church has a spotty record when addressing these issues. For years, we’ve seen pastors and clergy make headlines for misusing their positions. Unfair fights and manipulations do happen in homes where the family goes to church. Also frustrating is that when presented with abusive situations, many in the church don’t know how best to offer support.
We expect the church and our church family to be a safe haven from abusive behaviors, but that’s not always the case. And as big and sensitive as this topic is, I want to focus on just one aspect. A question that has been both wondered silently and shouted out loud:
Does God even care that abuses are happening in society at large and even in His church? Does He not understand how much pain this behavior causes?
In all honesty…yes…God does understand the pain of abuse, because Jesus experienced it directly:
Matthew 27:27-31
Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the governor’s residence and gathered the whole company around Him. They stripped Him and dressed Him in a scarlet robe. They twisted together a crown of thorns, put it on His head, and placed a staff in His right hand. And they knelt down before Him and mocked Him: “Hail, King of the Jews!” Then they spat on Him, took the staff, and kept hitting Him on the head. After they had mocked Him, they stripped Him of the robe, put His own clothes on Him, and led Him away to crucify Him.
Let’s pause right here. We often read these verses quickly and don’t fully take in the situation. I get it, it’s painful to think about, but let’s pause for a moment and recognize that in these verses, we see Jesus experience a range of abuses:
Verbal abuse: through their mocking, taunting, and demeaning words.
Physical abuse: when they stripped Him of His clothes, shoved thorns into His head, spat on Him, and beat Him with a staff.
Emotional abuse: through their isolation, intimidation given, and Jesus’ humiliation as the whole company gathered around and participated.
Jesus did nothing to deserve this treatment. Those in power chose to take advantage of the situation and treat Him this way.
But the abuse Jesus endured didn’t stop there. A little later, more people joined in. When Jesus was at His weakest point, when He was totally naked and exposed to everyone…it only got worse. While the soldiers’ abuse happened away from everyone, isolated in one part of the governor’s residence, Jesus’ next round of abuse was in public. While He hung on a cross, people from all walks of life began piling on. It must have felt like the entire world was against Him.
Matthew 27:38-44
Then two criminals were crucified with Him one on the right and one on the left. Those who passed by were yelling insults at Him, shaking their heads and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross!”
In the same way the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked Him and said, “He saved others, but He cannot save Himself! He is the King of Israel! Let Him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in Him. He trusts in God; let God rescue Him now – if He takes pleasure in Him! For He said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” In the same way even the criminals who were crucified with Him taunted Him.
While there were people who loved Him, none of them were with Him in this moment. Most had scattered. Some watched at a distance. A few got as close as they could. But as He died…He was alone.
Jesus’ purpose was to die on the cross to remove the sin barrier between God and humanity. But was this “extra” abuse necessary for Him to complete the mission? No, it wasn’t – but the Roman leaders allowed it. The Jewish religious leaders were not sad that it happened. The Roman soldiers chose to pile on what they saw as a poor, powerless, helpless Jew.
Jesus took blows that were unfairly delivered. He endured taunting that criticized Him as a person, questioned His identity, and mocked His purpose. However, there is hope. His endured suffering became our peace and healing:
Isaiah 53:5 (HCSB)
But He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities; punishment for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds.
Hebrews 4:15-16
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.
Jesus sympathizes with our weaknesses – the mistakes we’ve made as well as our struggle to cope with how others have mistreated us. Jesus wants us to come to Him, because He has mercy and grace for us. He gets it. He understands us.
Whatever abuse you have suffered, Jesus has been there. He’s taken the hits. He’s endured the taunts. He’s suffered through others piling on insults, blame, and shame. You are not alone. It was wrong for Him to receive it, and it is also wrong for us to receive it.
Pain and abuse isn’t some academic discussion in Christianity – the God we worship has personal, direct experience with human suffering. The church needs to identify and assist those who have been abused and those who are being abused now. As ambassadors, we need to lovingly introduce them to a God who sees them and understands their history more intimately than they would expect.
If someone has taken advantage of you or abused you, let me be clear: It was wrong. Others may not understand. Blood family or church family may not handle it well. But know that God understands – and in Him we can find peace and healing.
Keep Pressing,
Ken