Round 2: Pause on abuse

Pause on abuse
Originally posted on January 27, 2022

Physical.  Mental.  Emotional.  Sexual.  Financial.  Spiritual.  Attach the word “abuse” to one of those terms and any rational person cringes at the thought of personally receiving it or witnessing another person taking it.

The Christian church has a spotty record when addressing these issues.  For years, we’ve seen pastors and clergy make headlines for misusing their positions.  Unfair fights and manipulations do happen in homes where the family goes to church.  Also frustrating is that when presented with abusive situations, many in the church don’t know how best to offer support.

We expect the church and our church family to be a safe haven from abusive behaviors, but that’s not always the case.  And as big and sensitive as this topic is, I want to focus on just one aspect.  A question that has been both wondered silently and shouted out loud:

Does God even care that abuses are happening in society at large and even in His church?  Does He not understand how much pain this behavior causes?

In all honesty…yes…God does understand the pain of abuse, because Jesus experienced it directly:

Matthew 27:27-31
Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the governor’s residence and gathered the whole company around Him.  They stripped Him and dressed Him in a scarlet robe.  They twisted together a crown of thorns, put it on His head, and placed a staff in His right hand.  And they knelt down before Him and mocked Him: “Hail, King of the Jews!”  Then they spat on Him, took the staff, and kept hitting Him on the head.  After they had mocked Him, they stripped Him of the robe, put His own clothes on Him, and led Him away to crucify Him.

Let’s pause right here.  We often read these verses quickly and don’t fully take in the situation.  I get it, it’s painful to think about, but let’s pause for a moment and recognize that in these verses, we see Jesus experience a range of abuses:

Verbal abuse: through their mocking, taunting, and demeaning words.
Physical abuse: when they stripped Him of His clothes, shoved thorns into His head, spat on Him, and beat Him with a staff.
Emotional abuse: through their isolation, intimidation given, and Jesus’ humiliation as the whole company gathered around and participated.

Jesus did nothing to deserve this treatment.  Those in power chose to take advantage of the situation and treat Him this way.

But the abuse Jesus endured didn’t stop there.  A little later, more people joined in.  When Jesus was at His weakest point, when He was totally naked and exposed to everyone…it only got worse.  While the soldiers’ abuse happened away from everyone, isolated in one part of the governor’s residence, Jesus’ next round of abuse was in public.  While He hung on a cross, people from all walks of life began piling on.  It must have felt like the entire world was against Him.

Matthew 27:38-44
Then two criminals were crucified with Him one on the right and one on the left.  Those who passed by were yelling insults at Him, shaking their heads and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself!  If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross!” 

In the same way the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked Him and said, “He saved others, but He cannot save Himself!  He is the King of Israel!  Let Him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in Him.  He trusts in God; let God rescue Him now – if He takes pleasure in Him!  For He said, ‘I am the Son of God.’”  In the same way even the criminals who were crucified with Him taunted Him.

While there were people who loved Him, none of them were with Him in this moment.  Most had scattered.  Some watched at a distance.  A few got as close as they could.  But as He died…He was alone.

Jesus’ purpose was to die on the cross to remove the sin barrier between God and humanity.  But was this “extra” abuse necessary for Him to complete the mission?  No, it wasn’t – but the Roman leaders allowed it.  The Jewish religious leaders were not sad that it happened.  The Roman soldiers chose to pile on what they saw as a poor, powerless, helpless Jew.

Jesus took blows that were unfairly delivered.  He endured taunting that criticized Him as a person, questioned His identity, and mocked His purpose.  However, there is hope.  His endured suffering became our peace and healing:

Isaiah 53:5 (HCSB)
But He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities; punishment for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds.

Hebrews 4:15-16
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.

Jesus sympathizes with our weaknesses – the mistakes we’ve made as well as our struggle to cope with how others have mistreated us.  Jesus wants us to come to Him, because He has mercy and grace for us.  He gets it.  He understands us.

Whatever abuse you have suffered, Jesus has been there.  He’s taken the hits.  He’s endured the taunts.  He’s suffered through others piling on insults, blame, and shame.  You are not alone.  It was wrong for Him to receive it, and it is also wrong for us to receive it.

Pain and abuse isn’t some academic discussion in Christianity – the God we worship has personal, direct experience with human suffering.  The church needs to identify and assist those who have been abused and those who are being abused now.  As ambassadors, we need to lovingly introduce them to a God who sees them and understands their history more intimately than they would expect.

If someone has taken advantage of you or abused you, let me be clear: It was wrong.  Others may not understand.  Blood family or church family may not handle it well.  But know that God understands – and in Him we can find peace and healing. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: I don't know why you struggle

My migraines have flared up recently. Remembering what God taught me before has helped reframe my frustrations about it. Sometimes, our ailments are to be brought before God as a tension to be managed instead of a problem to be fixed.

I don't know why you struggle
Originally posted on July 14, 2022

I’ve had glasses since I was in Kindergarten.  I’ve always detested them.  Not because of how they look, but I’ve always wanted to be able to wake up and see everything clearly.  I hate not being able to rest without smashing my glasses into my face or into the side of my head.  My frustration came to a boil in junior high, and I can still remember one exasperated conversation I had with God about it.  I wanted to be healed.  I wanted to see normally, clearly – like everyone else.  I prayed, hard.  I knew God was capable of correcting my eyesight.  I was familiar with the number of stories where Jesus healed the blind.  In desperation, I offered to give God “all the praise and glory” if He would just fix me.  But nothing changed.  No healing came, despite the number of times I shut my eyes hard and reopened them quickly, just hoping that one of those times…I’d be able to see.

I also deal with a shoulder that’s prone to dislocation, frequent migraines, and essential tremor.  Within my family, there are issues with bi-polar, various cancers, MS, fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, and Alzheimer’s (just to name a few).  I’m sure you could add your own experiences to this list.

Throughout the centuries, people have struggled with explaining why some of us deal with physical, mental, and emotional brokenness and pains.  Most explanations from able-bodied people to the disabled or impaired boil down to some form of “well, sucks to be you”.  Other explanations we may assume about ourselves are that “God is punishing me” or that “my parents messed up and I’m the one paying for it”.  Acknowledging that the world is broken may help explain the mess of aliments we see, but it doesn’t make the day-to-day activities any easier for those living with their issue.  It’s also hard to reconcile being told that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) with our list of struggles.

When we look in the Bible, we find that we’re not alone as we try to understand the imbalances we see in society:

John 9:1-2
As [Jesus] was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

In first-century Jewish thinking, somebody must have messed up for this guy to be blind.  Blindness was viewed as a punishment from God.  So this would have been a natural question for the disciples to ask Jesus.  However, the answer He gave them was not one they were expecting:

John 9:3
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered.  “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him.”

Jesus then healed the man.  For the first time in his life, he could see clearly.  As you can imagine, this drastic change caused quite a stir among the community – especially with the religious leaders, who made the same assumptions the disciples had about the reason for the man’s blindness.

A second example I want to look at is the Apostle Paul.  When God called Paul to be His ambassador to the Gentile nations, He gave Paul specific revelations and teaching.  However, this was not the only thing God gave him:

2 Corinthians 12:7
Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself.

Paul never specified what the thorn in the flesh actually was.  Most scholars think it was some physical malady, along the lines of chronic eye issues, malaria, migraines, epilepsy, or a speech disability.  Even though the thorn’s purpose was clear – so that he wouldn’t become conceited – Paul still didn’t want it. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me.  But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.”

In these two examples, neither person did something to cause their physical failings or situation.  Instead, God had a purpose and a plan that actually included their struggles. 

Could the same be said of us?  I don’t know why I have the struggles that I do.  I can’t explain yours, either.  But here’s what I think is a strong possibility.  While I don’t have any direct Biblical evidence of this, given what I know of the character of God, it would not surprise me: I think that sometimes, when God sees the results of sin in this world and a non-believer gets cancer, He allows one of His own children to have that same cancer.  Not out of punishment or spite, but so that the world can see the difference in how those two individuals handle it.  So that whether you have always struggled or a specific event caused your struggle – God’s comfort, strength, compassion, and ability to change a life will shine through His kids...even though we would not have chosen our situation or we ask God to take it away.

I can’t say for sure why you have to deal with anxiety, or depression, or same-sex attraction, or cerebral palsy, or lust, or pride, or anger, or colon cancer, or any other struggle.  But God knows how you can partner with Him through it.  However life is hard for us, we can still choose our attitude about it.  May we make the same choice that Paul did after God told Him three times, “No, I won’t take it away.”  Instead of being down on himself, Paul recognized that this area of his life was where God was most visibly at work.  Not to indulge himself or give into his area of difficulty, but that God’s power helped him overcome and do great things, despite the struggle:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.  So I take pleasure in weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I don't know why you struggle

I’ve had glasses since I was in Kindergarten.  I’ve always detested them.  Not because of how they look, but I’ve always wanted to be able to wake up and see everything clearly.  I hate not being able to rest without smashing my glasses into my face or into the side of my head.  My frustration came to a boil in junior high, and I can still remember one exasperated conversation I had with God about it.  I wanted to be healed.  I wanted to see normally, clearly – like everyone else.  I prayed, hard.  I knew God was capable of correcting my eyesight.  I was familiar with the number of stories where Jesus healed the blind.  In desperation, I offered to give God “all the praise and glory” if He would just fix me.  But nothing changed.  No healing came, despite the number of times I shut my eyes hard and reopened them quickly, just hoping that one of those times…I’d be able to see.

I also deal with a shoulder that’s prone to dislocation, frequent migraines, and essential tremor.  Within my family, there are issues with bi-polar, various cancers, MS, fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, and Alzheimer’s (just to name a few).  I’m sure you could add your own experiences to this list.

Throughout the centuries, people have struggled with explaining why some of us deal with physical, mental, and emotional brokenness and pains.  Most explanations from able-bodied people to the disabled or impaired boil down to some form of “well, sucks to be you”.  Other explanations we may assume about ourselves are that “God is punishing me” or that “my parents messed up and I’m the one paying for it”.  Acknowledging that the world is broken may help explain the mess of aliments we see, but it doesn’t make the day-to-day activities any easier for those living with their issue.  It’s also hard to reconcile being told that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) with our list of struggles.

When we look in the Bible, we find that we’re not alone as we try to understand the imbalances we see in society:

John 9:1-2
As [Jesus] was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

In first-century Jewish thinking, somebody must have messed up for this guy to be blind.  Blindness was viewed as a punishment from God.  So this would have been a natural question for the disciples to ask Jesus.  However, the answer He gave them was not one they were expecting:

John 9:3
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered.  “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him.”

Jesus then healed the man.  For the first time in his life, he could see clearly.  As you can imagine, this drastic change caused quite a stir among the community – especially with the religious leaders, who made the same assumptions the disciples had about the reason for the man’s blindness.

A second example I want to look at is the Apostle Paul.  When God called Paul to be His ambassador to the Gentile nations, He gave Paul specific revelations and teaching.  However, this was not the only thing God gave him:

2 Corinthians 12:7
Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself.

Paul never specified what the thorn in the flesh actually was.  Most scholars think it was some physical malady, along the lines of chronic eye issues, malaria, migraines, epilepsy, or a speech disability.  Even though the thorn’s purpose was clear – so that he wouldn’t become conceited – Paul still didn’t want it. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me.  But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.”

In these two examples, neither person did something to cause their physical failings or situation.  Instead, God had a purpose and a plan that actually included their struggles. 

Could the same be said of us?  I don’t know why I have the struggles that I do.  I can’t explain yours, either.  But here’s what I think is a strong possibility.  While I don’t have any direct Biblical evidence of this, given what I know of the character of God, it would not surprise me: I think that sometimes, when God sees the results of sin in this world and a non-believer gets cancer, He allows one of His own children to have that same cancer.  Not out of punishment or spite, but so that the world can see the difference in how those two individuals handle it.  So that whether you have always struggled or a specific event caused your struggle – God’s comfort, strength, compassion, and ability to change a life will shine through His kids...even though we would not have chosen our situation or we ask God to take it away.

I can’t say for sure why you have to deal with anxiety, or depression, or same-sex attraction, or cerebral palsy, or lust, or pride, or anger, or colon cancer, or any other struggle.  But God knows how you can partner with Him through it.  However life is hard for us, we can still choose our attitude about it.  May we make the same choice that Paul did after God told Him three times, “No, I won’t take it away.”  Instead of being down on himself, Paul recognized that this area of his life was where God was most visibly at work.  Not to indulge himself or give into his area of difficulty, but that God’s power helped him overcome and do great things, despite the struggle:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.  So I take pleasure in weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Why God makes us wait

I really don’t like waiting. I’m not obnoxiously impatient, but unless I’m the one causing the delay…I’m not a fan of waiting.

That’s likely why God has me practice it so often…

Why God makes us wait
originally posted on July 06, 2017  

I am a rather weak creature, much weaker than I care to admit.

When life is “good”, I am content to coast as long as possible.  I expend as little effort as I can, so I don’t rock the boat and change the comfortable circumstances.  However, my inactivity quickly leads to stagnation.  When I’m stagnant, I become sluggish and self-centered.  I neglect my time with God, and I resent my time around others.  I become fully focused on me and the protection of my comfortable circumstances.

It’s for these reasons that I believe God allows difficulties and adversaries into my life.  When life gets bumpy or takes a detour, I am jarred out of my stagnation.  I am forced to recognize that I am not the one in charge…and that my best course of action is to pray to the one Who is.

At some level, it’s comforting to me to know that I’m not the only follower of God who struggles with this.  Because of his adversaries, David also recognized his immediate need for God and His guidance.

Psalm 27:11-14
Because of my adversaries,
show me Your way, Lord,
and lead me on a level path.
Do not give me over to the will of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing violence.

I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be courageous and let your heart be strong.
Wait for the Lord.

At the beginning of this psalm, David said: 

The Lord is my light and my salvation –
whom should I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life –
of whom should I be afraid?

When David referred to the Lord as my salvation, he wasn’t talking about eternal salvation from the penalty of sin.  David has confidence that he will see the Lord’s goodness in this life, that he would be saved from those who wanted to do him harm…but David also recognized that he would have to wait for the Lord’s assistance.

I believe that for the same reasons He allows adversaries and difficulties into our lives, God also allows us to wait for His rescue.  Our struggle to patiently anticipate the Lord’s salvation develops our faith in ways that only waiting can.

When life takes a detour, be courageous and let your heart be strong.  Salvation is coming, you just have to trust and wait for the Lord.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Making the effort, but struggling in weakness

Christ, the Greater Messenger, has invited us to partner with Him now.  The reward for doing so is entering God’s rest, which is the administration of His future kingdom.  The author of Hebrews is using the example of the Israelites leaving Egypt and their opportunity to participate in the administration of the future county of Israel as a parallel to our own lives:

Hebrews 4:9-11
A Sabbath rest remains, therefore, for God’s people.  For the person who has entered His rest has rested from his own works, just as God did from His.  Let us then make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall into the same pattern of disobedience.

Notice that the author is stressing our need to make every effort to enter that rest; as such, he is clearly not taking about Jesus’ offer of eternal salvation from the penalty of our sins.  If the rest discussed here were simply heaven, we wouldn’t have to work for it, because eternal life is an unearned gift (John 3:16; John 10:25; Ephesians 2:8-9; Revelation 22:17).  Effort, however, is needed if we are going to be partners with Jesus and His administration of the universe.  Our efforts now do not affect “where” we will spend eternity, but our efforts now will effect “what” we will be doing in eternity future.

Since the Israelites’ example and Jesus’ superior message are available in Scripture, this is the place we should be looking to see what we must do NOW in order to enter into the future kingdom participation LATER.  However, when we look through Scripture, we discover:

Hebrews 4:12-13
For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating as far as to divide soul, spirit, joints, and marrow; it is a judge of the ideas and thoughts of the heart.  No creature is hidden from Him, but all things are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give an account.

Since an account for my life will be given, all my times of having a sinful, unbelieving heart will be known…and I remember how God dealt with the Israelites for the unbelief (they missed out on participating in the establishment of the kingdom of Israel!)  What am I going to do, then?  Given my mistakes, sins, and all the times I act selfishly…How can I ever be considered qualified to partner with God in the future?

Hebrews 4:14-15
Therefore since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens – Jesus the Son of God – let us hold fast to the confession.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin.

This tells me that Christ is on my side, as my brother in the family and the bridge for my relationship between me and God the Father.  I am not alone in my struggles!  Even greater still, we are told:

Hebrews 4:16
Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time.

In all honesty, my human mind would not expect this.  We are so weak…so very, very weak.  We do not deserve the first, second, or any chance to partner with God.  And once again, our God blows away our expectations with His mercy and grace.

Jesus is here to sympathize with our weaknesses and to help us in our time of need, so that we can make every effort to enter that rest.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

Why God makes us wait

I am a rather weak creature, much weaker than I care to admit.

When life is “good”, I am content to coast as long as possible.  I expend as little effort as I can, so I don’t rock the boat and change the comfortable circumstances.  However, my inactivity quickly leads to stagnation.  When I’m stagnant, I become sluggish and self-centered.  I neglect my time with God, and I resent my time around others.  I become fully focused on me and the protection of my comfortable circumstances.

It’s for these reasons that I believe God allows difficulties and adversaries into my life.  When life gets bumpy or takes a detour, I am jarred out of my stagnation.  I am forced to recognize that I am not the one in charge…and that my best course of action is to pray to the one Who is.

At some level, it’s comforting to me to know that I’m not the only follower of God who struggles with this.  Because of his adversaries, David also recognized his immediate need for God and His guidance.

Psalm 27:11-14
Because of my adversaries,
show me Your way, Lord,
and lead me on a level path.
Do not give me over to the will of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing violence.

I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be courageous and let your heart be strong.
Wait for the Lord.

At the beginning of this psalm, David said: 

The Lord is my light and my salvation –
whom should I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life –
of whom should I be afraid?

When David referred to the Lord as my salvation, he wasn’t talking about eternal salvation from the penalty of sin.  David has confidence that he will see the Lord’s goodness in this life, that he would be saved from those who wanted to do him harm…but David also recognized that he would have to wait for the Lord’s assistance.

I believe that for the same reasons He allows adversaries and difficulties into our lives, God also allows us to wait for His rescue.  Our struggle to patiently anticipate the Lord’s salvation develops our faith in ways that only waiting can.

When life takes a detour, be courageous and let your heart be strong.  Salvation is coming, you just have to trust and wait for the Lord.

Keep Pressing,
Ken