I don't know why you struggle
I’ve had glasses since I was in Kindergarten. I’ve always detested them. Not because of how they look, but I’ve always wanted to be able to wake up and see everything clearly. I hate not being able to rest without smashing my glasses into my face or into the side of my head. My frustration came to a boil in junior high, and I can still remember one exasperated conversation I had with God about it. I wanted to be healed. I wanted to see normally, clearly – like everyone else. I prayed, hard. I knew God was capable of correcting my eyesight. I was familiar with the number of stories where Jesus healed the blind. In desperation, I offered to give God “all the praise and glory” if He would just fix me. But nothing changed. No healing came, despite the number of times I shut my eyes hard and reopened them quickly, just hoping that one of those times…I’d be able to see.
I also deal with a shoulder that’s prone to dislocation, frequent migraines, and essential tremor. Within my family, there are issues with bi-polar, various cancers, MS, fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, and Alzheimer’s (just to name a few). I’m sure you could add your own experiences to this list.
Throughout the centuries, people have struggled with explaining why some of us deal with physical, mental, and emotional brokenness and pains. Most explanations from able-bodied people to the disabled or impaired boil down to some form of “well, sucks to be you”. Other explanations we may assume about ourselves are that “God is punishing me” or that “my parents messed up and I’m the one paying for it”. Acknowledging that the world is broken may help explain the mess of aliments we see, but it doesn’t make the day-to-day activities any easier for those living with their issue. It’s also hard to reconcile being told that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) with our list of struggles.
When we look in the Bible, we find that we’re not alone as we try to understand the imbalances we see in society:
John 9:1-2
As [Jesus] was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
In first-century Jewish thinking, somebody must have messed up for this guy to be blind. Blindness was viewed as a punishment from God. So this would have been a natural question for the disciples to ask Jesus. However, the answer He gave them was not one they were expecting:
John 9:3
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered. “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him.”
Jesus then healed the man. For the first time in his life, he could see clearly. As you can imagine, this drastic change caused quite a stir among the community – especially with the religious leaders, who made the same assumptions the disciples had about the reason for the man’s blindness.
A second example I want to look at is the Apostle Paul. When God called Paul to be His ambassador to the Gentile nations, He gave Paul specific revelations and teaching. However, this was not the only thing God gave him:
2 Corinthians 12:7
Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself.
Paul never specified what the thorn in the flesh actually was. Most scholars think it was some physical malady, along the lines of chronic eye issues, malaria, migraines, epilepsy, or a speech disability. Even though the thorn’s purpose was clear – so that he wouldn’t become conceited – Paul still didn’t want it.
2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.”
In these two examples, neither person did something to cause their physical failings or situation. Instead, God had a purpose and a plan that actually included their struggles.
Could the same be said of us? I don’t know why I have the struggles that I do. I can’t explain yours, either. But here’s what I think is a strong possibility. While I don’t have any direct Biblical evidence of this, given what I know of the character of God, it would not surprise me: I think that sometimes, when God sees the results of sin in this world and a non-believer gets cancer, He allows one of His own children to have that same cancer. Not out of punishment or spite, but so that the world can see the difference in how those two individuals handle it. So that whether you have always struggled or a specific event caused your struggle – God’s comfort, strength, compassion, and ability to change a life will shine through His kids...even though we would not have chosen our situation or we ask God to take it away.
I can’t say for sure why you have to deal with anxiety, or depression, or same-sex attraction, or cerebral palsy, or lust, or pride, or anger, or colon cancer, or any other struggle. But God knows how you can partner with Him through it. However life is hard for us, we can still choose our attitude about it. May we make the same choice that Paul did after God told Him three times, “No, I won’t take it away.” Instead of being down on himself, Paul recognized that this area of his life was where God was most visibly at work. Not to indulge himself or give into his area of difficulty, but that God’s power helped him overcome and do great things, despite the struggle:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Keep Pressing,
Ken