Pausing on fear (part 1)

The biggest miracle Jesus had ever performed just happened: 5,000 men, plus all the women and children (easily more than 10,000 people total) were fed from five loaves of bread and two fish.  This wasn’t snack-time portions, either: 

Matthew 14:20
Everyone ate and was satisfied.  They picked up twelve baskets full of leftover pieces.

Everyone was full, as in “No thank you, I’m stuffed.  I can’t eat any more.” 

Next, it was time for everyone to go home.  Although the disciples had helped distribute the miraculous food and collect the twelve baskets of leftovers, Jesus did not have them help disperse the massive crowd.  They were at the shores of the Sea of Galilee, and Jesus was sending them to the other side.

Matthew 14:22-23
Immediately He made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds.  After dismissing the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray.  Well into the night, He was there alone. 

I can really empathize with Jesus here.  After providing for the spiritual and physical needs of a massive crowd, He needed some alone time – just Him and His Father.  It’s important to note that even Jesus needed to step away from the world and recharge.

At the same time, the disciples were struggling with the direction Jesus had sent them in.

Matthew 14:24
Meanwhile, the boat was already some distance from land, battered by the waves, because the wind was against them.

The Greek phrase translated as some distance from land is literally worded “many stadia from land”.  John’s account states they were 25 or 30 stadia from land (John 6:16-21).  Since one stadia was 600 feet, or about 200 yards, the disciples’ boat was about 3 or 4 miles from the shore – and they were getting pounded by the storm.

Storms on the Sea of Galilee were not uncommon.  The topography surrounding the large body of water creates a natural set of wind tunnels.  Wind comes off the surrounding mountains, crashes into the water, and massive storms were known to happen in the blink of an eye.

Several of the disciples were fishermen prior to following Jesus, so they knew what to expect, but also how dangerous it was to be caught in a nasty wind-storm in the middle of the night.  Survival would be the main goal, and getting to shore would be a big part of that.  But despite their best efforts, they couldn’t escape the storm. 

Let’s pause right here.  They just had a massive day.  Jesus’ biggest miracle to date had just happened, and they were a part of it.  Not just as witnesses, but they helped distribute food to 10,000 people.  Of course, they didn’t hand out fish and bread to every single person, but they were the ones who took the food from Jesus to hand out to others…and then collected the leftovers.  That sounds like an absolutely exhausting day.

As the sun is setting and the day is wrapping up, Jesus sends them to go across the lake, quite possibly taking some/all of the twelve baskets of leftovers.  They did exactly what Jesus told them to do – and got stuck in a violent storm.  Now, after already being worn down from an exhilarating day, they must fight the oppressive wind and do everything they can to keep the boat afloat and stay alive.

To top it all off, the last time a storm like this happened, Jesus was with them.  Although He was asleep in the boat when the storm happened, after they woke Him, He quickly calmed the storm with just a word (Matthew 8:23-27).  But Jesus isn’t with them this time.  They were going to have to survive this one without Him.

The next verse in this account offers a ton of hope to the disciples’ situation, but there is a small phrase in there that is easily overlooked – the next verse takes place very early in the morning.  Again, the Greek phrasing is very instructive here: during the fourth watch of the night, which means between 3:00am and 6:00am. 

Rescue for the disciples did not come until near sunrise.  They fought the wind-storm nearly all night long before Jesus showed up.  They were battered by the waves for hours upon hours.  Physically exhausted.  Mentally drained.  Emotionally sapped.

I’m sure some wanted to give up.  It’s possible that a few of them already had.  At the point of feeling completely done in, one of them saw something in the distance.  They probably didn’t trust their eyes in this storm-ridden moment.  Early daylight was piercing the horizon, but nothing was clear.  Whatever it was, it was moving toward them…on top of the water.

So with this background, we can have sympathy when we read the disciples’ reaction.  They were absolutely fried.  No one had ever walked on water before.  They had no idea that Jesus was even capable of doing so.  A slow walk across that distance would have taken Jesus up to an hour to reach them from the shore. Even if the disciples didn’t see Jesus until He was just one stadia (200 yards) away from them because of the storm, they would have watched this unknown thing come straight at them for two long minutes…which would have felt like an eternity.  Or possibly worse…what if they didn’t see Him coming because the storm was still so bad, and instead it was as if He appeared out of nowhere, 20 yards off the side of the boat!

I suspect our reaction would have been pretty similar to theirs:

Matthew 14:25-26
Jesus came toward them walking on the sea very early in the morning.  When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified.  “It’s a ghost!” they said, and they cried out in fear.

They were just done.  Done-in and done-for.  They were terrified, and likely thinking they were about to die.

Matthew 14:27
Immediately Jesus spoke to them.  “Have courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t calm the storm.  He didn’t change their situation.  He didn’t give them the strength of Samson so they could reset the sails and try again.  He didn’t clear their minds of the cobwebs caused by exhaustion. 

Instead, Jesus gave them Himself.

Jesus spoke to them, giving words of encouragement.  He was close by – moving toward them when they couldn’t see past the raging storm and He was nearby when they were at their breaking point.  Their situation hadn’t changed, but their perspective on their situation was about to.

From this, we learn the principle: Courage replaces fear when we recognize Jesus is near.

Just because we’re doing what God has asked us to do, that doesn’t mean everything will go to plan and meet our expectations of huge impact and easy victories.  We still must fight the battles with cancer, poverty, cruelty, anxiety, depression, broken relationships, and everything else that life throws at us.  Getting battered by the storms of life and reaching our breaking point doesn’t mean we are a bad disciple, a poor witness, or abandoned by God.

Jesus is right there, in the storm, with us.  He is our source of courage.  Hear His voice and don’t be afraid.

Keep Pressing,
Ken