Pausing on fear (part 2)

When we last saw the disciples, they had been rowing all night long against a massive wind-storm that had struck the Sea of Galilee.  Before the storm hit, they had been doing exactly what Jesus told them to do…but the storm still came anyway.  It is now early morning, just before sunrise and the disciples are exhausted after fighting the storm throughout the dark night.  They had failed to get back to shore, which was still three or four miles away.

It's at this moment that Jesus arrives…because He’s walking on the water.  People don’t do that.  People can’t do that.  And yet, here comes someone or something moving their direction on top of the water.  The disciples’ bodies are spent and their minds are drained, so we can understand how they reacted:

Matthew 14:26-27
When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified.  “It’s a ghost!” they said, and they cried out in fear.  Immediately Jesus spoke to them.  “Have courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

Ok, so Jesus’ words make it better, right?  I’m sure the disciples felt some cautious relief…but the storm is still raging and this person (ghost?) claiming to be Jesus hadn’t stopped the winds and waves yet.  So, now what?

Peter steps up for the group to challenge/assess this walking-on-water being, to find out if it really is Jesus or if their night is about to get worse.  In Jewish culture, the disciple’s purpose was to one day be a replica of his Rabbi.  As such, Jesus’ disciples were expected to imitate Jesus until they got it right.  Mustering up his courage, Peter asks:

Matthew 14:28-29
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter answered Him, “command me to come to You on the water.”

He said, “Come.”

And climbing out of the boat, Peter started walking on the water and came toward Jesus.

Peter did it…he actually walked on water!  (Stop and imagine how insanely cool that would be!)  Peter believed that he could do it because Jesus called him to do it.  Peter wanted to be like his teacher, to do everything his Rabbi did…and this was a miraculous situation that Jesus allowed one of His disciples to actively participate in.  Sure, they all had handed out the multiplied loaves and fish when Jesus created enough for the crowd to eat – but Jesus didn’t invite them to create more food with Him.  This time, Peter was an active participant.

However, if you are familiar with this scene, you know that the situation soon changes:

Matthew 14:30-32
But when he saw the strength of the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out His hand, caught hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

When they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

Let’s pause right there.  Most modern-day teachers will tell you that Peter sunk because he took his eyes off Jesus.  Their immediate application would be that we, too, are capable of great things as long as we keep our eyes on Jesus.  But I don’t think that is Peter’s issue here…taking his eyes off Jesus isn’t the reason that Jesus said Peter sank.

Look back at the text – what did Jesus say to Peter?  “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Peter’s little faith was taking Jesus at His word – believing that what Jesus told him he could do, that he could actually do it.  Don’t miss this…Peter’s small amount of faith led to doing something huge.  Peter’s little faith enabled him to walk on water! 

But Jesus points out there is a competitor to faith, and that is doubt.  When Peter looked away from Jesus and saw the strength of the wind and saw the waves crashing about, did he sink then?  No, he didn’t.  It was after he was afraid that the situation changed.  Jesus equates fear and doubt when He says that Peter began to sink because he doubted.  But whom or what did Peter doubt? 

Did he doubt Jesus?  No, Jesus was still standing on top of the waves and not sinking.  Peter asked Jesus for help, so he certainly didn’t doubt Jesus’ ability.

Did he doubt Jesus’ instructions?  No indication of that in the text.  We don’t see Peter telling Jesus “I don’t believe you.  Your instructions to get out of the boat and walk on water were wrong.”

Then whom did he doubt?  Peter doubted himself.

Peter didn’t begin to sink until he was afraid and began to doubt that he would be able to do what Jesus called Him to do.  The instruction-giver was good.  The instructions were good.  When Peter first stepped outside the safety of the boat, he was equally exposed to the elements when he was walking on the water or when he was sinking in the water.  The only thing that changed in this situation is Peter’s belief in himself to do what Jesus had called him to do.

Peter didn’t sink because he took his eyes off Jesus – if that was the case, Peter would have risen back above the water when he looked at Jesus to ask for help.  Jesus obviously believed that Peter could do it – otherwise He wouldn’t have called Peter to get out of the boat.  Jesus had faith in Peter, but Peter lost faith in himself. 

So what do we do in moments like this?  We eagerly jump into what God has called us to do and it starts out great…but then storms hit hard, we become afraid, and start to sink.  Fear feeds on itself and only becomes ravenous for more.  We know something must be done, something has to change, or else we’ll go under.

Peter didn’t talk down to himself for attempting what others thought to be impossible.  He didn’t talk himself up with words of encouragement, attempting to build up his inner motivation to do better, either.  Instead…he called out to Jesus: Lord, save me!  A simple, direct request that conveys Peter’s understanding of who Jesus is and his faith in Him.  Peter never doubted Jesus and knew that Jesus was his only chance at being rescued. 

Take comfort in the next word – Immediately.  As soon as Peter called out, Jesus reached out His hand and caught hold of him.  The storm still had not stopped.  The wind was still whipping and the waves were still thrashing.  But Jesus had ahold of Peter in the middle of it.

I think a little too much is made about Jesus’ reproof: “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”  This wasn’t a lecture.  This wasn’t harsh criticism of Peter’s spiritual development.  But it was a question that Peter needed to hear and wrestle with himself.

Lastly, let’s look at the final verse: When they got into the boat, the wind ceased.  This means that Jesus and Peter walked back to the boat, on top of the water, while the storm was still raging.  The storm didn’t stop until after they were back in the boat.

Jesus has tremendous faith in us to do what He has called us to do.  From the broad mission statement of His Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) to the use of skills and abilities He gives to each of us – we all have a part to play.  But when the storms of life hit and hit hard, Peter’s example is one to remember.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pausing on fear (part 1)

The biggest miracle Jesus had ever performed just happened: 5,000 men, plus all the women and children (easily more than 10,000 people total) were fed from five loaves of bread and two fish.  This wasn’t snack-time portions, either: 

Matthew 14:20
Everyone ate and was satisfied.  They picked up twelve baskets full of leftover pieces.

Everyone was full, as in “No thank you, I’m stuffed.  I can’t eat any more.” 

Next, it was time for everyone to go home.  Although the disciples had helped distribute the miraculous food and collect the twelve baskets of leftovers, Jesus did not have them help disperse the massive crowd.  They were at the shores of the Sea of Galilee, and Jesus was sending them to the other side.

Matthew 14:22-23
Immediately He made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds.  After dismissing the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray.  Well into the night, He was there alone. 

I can really empathize with Jesus here.  After providing for the spiritual and physical needs of a massive crowd, He needed some alone time – just Him and His Father.  It’s important to note that even Jesus needed to step away from the world and recharge.

At the same time, the disciples were struggling with the direction Jesus had sent them in.

Matthew 14:24
Meanwhile, the boat was already some distance from land, battered by the waves, because the wind was against them.

The Greek phrase translated as some distance from land is literally worded “many stadia from land”.  John’s account states they were 25 or 30 stadia from land (John 6:16-21).  Since one stadia was 600 feet, or about 200 yards, the disciples’ boat was about 3 or 4 miles from the shore – and they were getting pounded by the storm.

Storms on the Sea of Galilee were not uncommon.  The topography surrounding the large body of water creates a natural set of wind tunnels.  Wind comes off the surrounding mountains, crashes into the water, and massive storms were known to happen in the blink of an eye.

Several of the disciples were fishermen prior to following Jesus, so they knew what to expect, but also how dangerous it was to be caught in a nasty wind-storm in the middle of the night.  Survival would be the main goal, and getting to shore would be a big part of that.  But despite their best efforts, they couldn’t escape the storm. 

Let’s pause right here.  They just had a massive day.  Jesus’ biggest miracle to date had just happened, and they were a part of it.  Not just as witnesses, but they helped distribute food to 10,000 people.  Of course, they didn’t hand out fish and bread to every single person, but they were the ones who took the food from Jesus to hand out to others…and then collected the leftovers.  That sounds like an absolutely exhausting day.

As the sun is setting and the day is wrapping up, Jesus sends them to go across the lake, quite possibly taking some/all of the twelve baskets of leftovers.  They did exactly what Jesus told them to do – and got stuck in a violent storm.  Now, after already being worn down from an exhilarating day, they must fight the oppressive wind and do everything they can to keep the boat afloat and stay alive.

To top it all off, the last time a storm like this happened, Jesus was with them.  Although He was asleep in the boat when the storm happened, after they woke Him, He quickly calmed the storm with just a word (Matthew 8:23-27).  But Jesus isn’t with them this time.  They were going to have to survive this one without Him.

The next verse in this account offers a ton of hope to the disciples’ situation, but there is a small phrase in there that is easily overlooked – the next verse takes place very early in the morning.  Again, the Greek phrasing is very instructive here: during the fourth watch of the night, which means between 3:00am and 6:00am. 

Rescue for the disciples did not come until near sunrise.  They fought the wind-storm nearly all night long before Jesus showed up.  They were battered by the waves for hours upon hours.  Physically exhausted.  Mentally drained.  Emotionally sapped.

I’m sure some wanted to give up.  It’s possible that a few of them already had.  At the point of feeling completely done in, one of them saw something in the distance.  They probably didn’t trust their eyes in this storm-ridden moment.  Early daylight was piercing the horizon, but nothing was clear.  Whatever it was, it was moving toward them…on top of the water.

So with this background, we can have sympathy when we read the disciples’ reaction.  They were absolutely fried.  No one had ever walked on water before.  They had no idea that Jesus was even capable of doing so.  A slow walk across that distance would have taken Jesus up to an hour to reach them from the shore. Even if the disciples didn’t see Jesus until He was just one stadia (200 yards) away from them because of the storm, they would have watched this unknown thing come straight at them for two long minutes…which would have felt like an eternity.  Or possibly worse…what if they didn’t see Him coming because the storm was still so bad, and instead it was as if He appeared out of nowhere, 20 yards off the side of the boat!

I suspect our reaction would have been pretty similar to theirs:

Matthew 14:25-26
Jesus came toward them walking on the sea very early in the morning.  When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified.  “It’s a ghost!” they said, and they cried out in fear.

They were just done.  Done-in and done-for.  They were terrified, and likely thinking they were about to die.

Matthew 14:27
Immediately Jesus spoke to them.  “Have courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t calm the storm.  He didn’t change their situation.  He didn’t give them the strength of Samson so they could reset the sails and try again.  He didn’t clear their minds of the cobwebs caused by exhaustion. 

Instead, Jesus gave them Himself.

Jesus spoke to them, giving words of encouragement.  He was close by – moving toward them when they couldn’t see past the raging storm and He was nearby when they were at their breaking point.  Their situation hadn’t changed, but their perspective on their situation was about to.

From this, we learn the principle: Courage replaces fear when we recognize Jesus is near.

Just because we’re doing what God has asked us to do, that doesn’t mean everything will go to plan and meet our expectations of huge impact and easy victories.  We still must fight the battles with cancer, poverty, cruelty, anxiety, depression, broken relationships, and everything else that life throws at us.  Getting battered by the storms of life and reaching our breaking point doesn’t mean we are a bad disciple, a poor witness, or abandoned by God.

Jesus is right there, in the storm, with us.  He is our source of courage.  Hear His voice and don’t be afraid.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Understanding why God knows the number of hairs on our heads

God knows the number of hairs on your head.  So, He knows what best for you.

I’ve been in church as long as I can remember, and I’ve heard something like that statement more times than I can count.  The preacher means it as encouragement, implying that since God knows such crazy, insignificant details about us, then obviously He must know how to handle all the big stuff that’s going on in our lives.

It’s based on a verse from Matthew 10 (or Luke 12); and if the preacher really wants to drive the point home, he’ll include what Jesus said in the immediate verse before and after:

Matthew 10:29-31
Aren’t two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s consent.  But even the hairs of your head have all been counted.  Don’t be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows.

And that’s very true.  God does know everything about us, and of course He knows what’s best for us.  But the whole idea of me-being-more-important-than-insignificant-birds-because-God-knows-how-much-hair-I-have has never inspired me to not be afraid.  So I have just shrugged off the metaphor as something useful or motivating for first-century people and not given it much thought, no matter how many times I hear a preacher bring it up.

As I hang out more in the Psalms, one thing I’m learning is that Jesus quoted them – often.  He knew them very well, and the Jewish people did, too.  However, Jesus would also reference the psalms or present familiar passages in new ways.  Two of David’s psalms specifically mentions the hairs of my head:

Psalm 40:12
For troubles without number have surrounded me;
my sins have overtaken me; I am unable to see.
They are more than the hairs on my head,
and my courage leaves me.

Psalm 69:4
Those who hate me without cause
are more numerous than the hairs of my head;
my deceitful enemies, who would destroy me, are powerful.
Though I did not steal, I must repay.

David uses the number of hairs on his head to descriptively exaggerate how overwhelmed he was by his troubles, sins, and enemies.  In both psalms, David is seeking strength and rescue from God.  But how does this relate to Jesus talking about the value of sparrows?  When we pull back into the larger context we find Jesus saying this to His disciples:

Matthew 10:16-18, 21-22
Look, I’m sending you out, like sheep among wolves.  Therefore be as shrewd as serpents and as harmless as doves.  Because people will hand you over to sanhedrins and flog you in their synagogues, beware of them.  You will even be brought before governors and kings because of Me, to bear witness to them and to the nations…Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child.  Children will even rise up against their parents and have them put to death.  You will be hated by everyone because of my name.

Jesus foretelling of persecution, betrayal, and death for Christ-followers?  That’s some pretty heavy stuff.  But Jesus offers this encouragement:

Matthew 10:26, 28-31
Therefore don’t be afraid of them…Don’t fear those who kill the body but are not able to kill the soul; rather, fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.  Aren’t two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s consent.  But even the hairs of your head have all been counted.  Don’t be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Jesus wanted to make sure His disciples understood that just as God has authority when the insignificant sparrows die, so He also has authority over when His disciples would die.  Knowing that their lives were in God’s hands – and not in the hands of their enemies – would give them the strength to carry on with the Gospel and God’s Love.  Even if they are outnumbered and feeling overwhelmed.

When trouble comes, and it feels overwhelming, we wrestle with fear.  It’s easy to become afraid in those moments when we are despised, cussed out, shunned, passed over, shouted down, and, in some parts of the world, physically tortured for being a Christ-follower.  When it seems like we Christians have more people against us than there are hairs on our heads and our very lives are on the line, God knows where we are and what’s going on. 

We’re never abandoned. 
God is still in charge.  
So be brave.  
Don’t be afraid.

Keep Pressing,
Ken