Round 2: Pausing on fear (part 2)

Pausing on fear (part 2)
Originally posted on December 23, 2021

When we last saw the disciples, they had been rowing all night long against a massive wind-storm that had struck the Sea of Galilee.  Before the storm hit, they had been doing exactly what Jesus told them to do…but the storm still came anyway.  It is now early morning, just before sunrise and the disciples are exhausted after fighting the storm throughout the dark night.  They had failed to get back to shore, which was still three or four miles away.

It's at this moment that Jesus arrives…because He’s walking on the water.  People don’t do that.  People can’t do that.  And yet, here comes someone or something moving their direction on top of the water.  The disciples’ bodies are spent and their minds are drained, so we can understand how they reacted:

Matthew 14:26-27
When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified.  “It’s a ghost!” they said, and they cried out in fear.  Immediately Jesus spoke to them.  “Have courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

Ok, so Jesus’ words make it better, right?  I’m sure the disciples felt some cautious relief…but the storm is still raging and this person (ghost?) claiming to be Jesus hadn’t stopped the winds and waves yet.  So, now what?

Peter steps up for the group to challenge/assess this walking-on-water being, to find out if it really is Jesus or if their night is about to get worse.  In Jewish culture, the disciple’s purpose was to one day be a replica of his Rabbi.  As such, Jesus’ disciples were expected to imitate Jesus until they got it right.  Mustering up his courage, Peter asks:

Matthew 14:28-29
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter answered Him, “command me to come to You on the water.”

He said, “Come.”

And climbing out of the boat, Peter started walking on the water and came toward Jesus.

Peter did it…he actually walked on water!  (Stop and imagine how insanely cool that would be!)  Peter believed that he could do it because Jesus called him to do it.  Peter wanted to be like his teacher, to do everything his Rabbi did…and this was a miraculous situation that Jesus allowed one of His disciples to actively participate in.  Sure, they all had handed out the multiplied loaves and fish when Jesus created enough for the crowd to eat – but Jesus didn’t invite them to create more food with Him.  This time, Peter was an active participant.

However, if you are familiar with this scene, you know that the situation soon changes:

Matthew 14:30-32
But when he saw the strength of the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out His hand, caught hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

When they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

Let’s pause right there.  Most modern-day teachers will tell you that Peter sunk because he took his eyes off Jesus.  Their immediate application would be that we, too, are capable of great things as long as we keep our eyes on Jesus.  But I don’t think that is Peter’s issue here…taking his eyes off Jesus isn’t the reason that Jesus said Peter sank.

Look back at the text – what did Jesus say to Peter?  “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Peter’s little faith was taking Jesus at His word – believing that what Jesus told him he could do, that he could actually do it.  Don’t miss this…Peter’s small amount of faith led to doing something huge.  Peter’s little faith enabled him to walk on water! 

But Jesus points out there is a competitor to faith, and that is doubt.  When Peter looked away from Jesus and saw the strength of the wind and saw the waves crashing about, did he sink then?  No, he didn’t.  It was after he was afraid that the situation changed.  Jesus equates fear and doubt when He says that Peter began to sink because he doubted.  But whom or what did Peter doubt? 

Did he doubt Jesus?  No, Jesus was still standing on top of the waves and not sinking.  Peter asked Jesus for help, so he certainly didn’t doubt Jesus’ ability.

Did he doubt Jesus’ instructions?  No indication of that in the text.  We don’t see Peter telling Jesus “I don’t believe you.  Your instructions to get out of the boat and walk on water were wrong.”

Then whom did he doubt?  Peter doubted himself.

Peter didn’t begin to sink until he was afraid and began to doubt that he would be able to do what Jesus called Him to do.  The instruction-giver was good.  The instructions were good.  When Peter first stepped outside the safety of the boat, he was equally exposed to the elements when he was walking on the water or when he was sinking in the water.  The only thing that changed in this situation is Peter’s belief in himself to do what Jesus had called him to do.

Peter didn’t sink because he took his eyes off Jesus – if that was the case, Peter would have risen back above the water when he looked at Jesus to ask for help.  Jesus obviously believed that Peter could do it – otherwise He wouldn’t have called Peter to get out of the boat.  Jesus had faith in Peter, but Peter lost faith in himself. 

So what do we do in moments like this?  We eagerly jump into what God has called us to do and it starts out great…but then storms hit hard, we become afraid, and start to sink.  Fear feeds on itself and only becomes ravenous for more.  We know something must be done, something has to change, or else we’ll go under.

Peter didn’t talk down to himself for attempting what others thought to be impossible.  He didn’t talk himself up with words of encouragement, attempting to build up his inner motivation to do better, either.  Instead…he called out to Jesus: Lord, save me!  A simple, direct request that conveys Peter’s understanding of who Jesus is and his faith in Him.  Peter never doubted Jesus and knew that Jesus was his only chance at being rescued. 

Take comfort in the next word – Immediately.  As soon as Peter called out, Jesus reached out His hand and caught hold of him.  The storm still had not stopped.  The wind was still whipping and the waves were still thrashing.  But Jesus had ahold of Peter in the middle of it.

I think a little too much is made about Jesus’ reproof: “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”  This wasn’t a lecture.  This wasn’t harsh criticism of Peter’s spiritual development.  But it was a question that Peter needed to hear and wrestle with himself.

Lastly, let’s look at the final verse: When they got into the boat, the wind ceased.  This means that Jesus and Peter walked back to the boat, on top of the water, while the storm was still raging.  The storm didn’t stop until after they were back in the boat.

Jesus has tremendous faith in us to do what He has called us to do.  From the broad mission statement of His Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) to the use of skills and abilities He gives to each of us – we all have a part to play.  But when the storms of life hit and hit hard, Peter’s example is one to remember.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Round 2: Pausing on fear (part 1)

Pausing on fear (part 1)
Originally posted on December 16, 2021

The biggest miracle Jesus had ever performed just happened: 5,000 men, plus all the women and children (easily more than 10,000 people total) were fed from five loaves of bread and two fish.  This wasn’t snack-time portions, either: 

Matthew 14:20
Everyone ate and was satisfied.  They picked up twelve baskets full of leftover pieces.

Everyone was full, as in “No thank you, I’m stuffed.  I can’t eat any more.” 

Next, it was time for everyone to go home.  Although the disciples had helped distribute the miraculous food and collect the twelve baskets of leftovers, Jesus did not have them help disperse the massive crowd.  They were at the shores of the Sea of Galilee, and Jesus was sending them to the other side.

Matthew 14:22-23
Immediately He made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds.  After dismissing the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray.  Well into the night, He was there alone. 

I can really empathize with Jesus here.  After providing for the spiritual and physical needs of a massive crowd, He needed some alone time – just Him and His Father.  It’s important to note that even Jesus needed to step away from the world and recharge.

At the same time, the disciples were struggling with the direction Jesus had sent them in.

Matthew 14:24
Meanwhile, the boat was already some distance from land, battered by the waves, because the wind was against them.

The Greek phrase translated as some distance from land is literally worded “many stadia from land”.  John’s account states they were 25 or 30 stadia from land (John 6:16-21).  Since one stadia was 600 feet, or about 200 yards, the disciples’ boat was about 3 or 4 miles from the shore – and they were getting pounded by the storm.

Storms on the Sea of Galilee were not uncommon.  The topography surrounding the large body of water creates a natural set of wind tunnels.  Wind comes off the surrounding mountains, crashes into the water, and massive storms were known to happen in the blink of an eye.

Several of the disciples were fishermen prior to following Jesus, so they knew what to expect, but also how dangerous it was to be caught in a nasty wind-storm in the middle of the night.  Survival would be the main goal, and getting to shore would be a big part of that.  But despite their best efforts, they couldn’t escape the storm. 

Let’s pause right here.  They just had a massive day.  Jesus’ biggest miracle to date had just happened, and they were a part of it.  Not just as witnesses, but they helped distribute food to 10,000 people.  Of course, they didn’t hand out fish and bread to every single person, but they were the ones who took the food from Jesus to hand out to others…and then collected the leftovers.  That sounds like an absolutely exhausting day.

As the sun is setting and the day is wrapping up, Jesus sends them to go across the lake, quite possibly taking some/all of the twelve baskets of leftovers.  They did exactly what Jesus told them to do – and got stuck in a violent storm.  Now, after already being worn down from an exhilarating day, they must fight the oppressive wind and do everything they can to keep the boat afloat and stay alive.

To top it all off, the last time a storm like this happened, Jesus was with them.  Although He was asleep in the boat when the storm happened, after they woke Him, He quickly calmed the storm with just a word (Matthew 8:23-27).  But Jesus isn’t with them this time.  They were going to have to survive this one without Him.

The next verse in this account offers a ton of hope to the disciples’ situation, but there is a small phrase in there that is easily overlooked – the next verse takes place very early in the morning.  Again, the Greek phrasing is very instructive here: during the fourth watch of the night, which means between 3:00am and 6:00am. 

Rescue for the disciples did not come until near sunrise.  They fought the wind-storm nearly all night long before Jesus showed up.  They were battered by the waves for hours upon hours.  Physically exhausted.  Mentally drained.  Emotionally sapped.

I’m sure some wanted to give up.  It’s possible that a few of them already had.  At the point of feeling completely done in, one of them saw something in the distance.  They probably didn’t trust their eyes in this storm-ridden moment.  Early daylight was piercing the horizon, but nothing was clear.  Whatever it was, it was moving toward them…on top of the water.

So with this background, we can have sympathy when we read the disciples’ reaction.  They were absolutely fried.  No one had ever walked on water before.  They had no idea that Jesus was even capable of doing so.  A slow walk across that distance would have taken Jesus up to an hour to reach them from the shore. Even if the disciples didn’t see Jesus until He was just one stadia (200 yards) away from them because of the storm, they would have watched this unknown thing come straight at them for two long minutes…which would have felt like an eternity.  Or possibly worse…what if they didn’t see Him coming because the storm was still so bad, and instead it was as if He appeared out of nowhere, 20 yards off the side of the boat!

I suspect our reaction would have been pretty similar to theirs:

Matthew 14:25-26
Jesus came toward them walking on the sea very early in the morning.  When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified.  “It’s a ghost!” they said, and they cried out in fear.

They were just done.  Done-in and done-for.  They were terrified, and likely thinking they were about to die.

Matthew 14:27
Immediately Jesus spoke to them.  “Have courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t calm the storm.  He didn’t change their situation.  He didn’t give them the strength of Samson so they could reset the sails and try again.  He didn’t clear their minds of the cobwebs caused by exhaustion. 

Instead, Jesus gave them Himself.

Jesus spoke to them, giving words of encouragement.  He was close by – moving toward them when they couldn’t see past the raging storm and He was nearby when they were at their breaking point.  Their situation hadn’t changed, but their perspective on their situation was about to.

From this, we learn the principle: Courage replaces fear when we recognize Jesus is near.

Just because we’re doing what God has asked us to do, that doesn’t mean everything will go to plan and meet our expectations of huge impact and easy victories.  We still must fight the battles with cancer, poverty, cruelty, anxiety, depression, broken relationships, and everything else that life throws at us.  Getting battered by the storms of life and reaching our breaking point doesn’t mean we are a bad disciple, a poor witness, or abandoned by God.

Jesus is right there, in the storm, with us.  He is our source of courage.  Hear His voice and don’t be afraid.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I…I need a break

Let’s talk for a minute, ok? 

Just you and me.  Grab a cup of coffee, take a seat.

How are you doing?  Good, I hope.  Me?  Not so much.

I’m coming out of a very busy season, and I’m just now getting a chance to breathe again.  You may have noticed that for the last five weeks, the blog posts have all been “Flashback Favorites”, and for that I apologize.  My schedule has been so exhausting that I have not had the mental energy to study Scripture well and write up new blog posts to the standard I expect from myself as a teacher of God’s Word. 

But to be honest, my struggles were happening much before the most recent busy season started.  In my hard-headedness, I have ignored all the warning signs…either attempting to “power through” what I called a rough patch or simply convincing myself that “it’s only a season” – when in reality, it wasn’t a rough patch or a season…it was just my life.

During work this week, I looked out the window, and I could see the wind blowing the leaves off our red oak tree.  One leaf, then a small group of them, then two more frittered by…an uneven stream of dead tree pieces gently wisping away from increasingly barren branches.  “That,” I thought to myself, “is an apt picture of how I feel.”  To quote Bilbo Baggins, “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”

I didn’t have a name for what I’m experiencing right now, until I started the book “At Your Best” by Carey Nieuwhof.  The word for what I’m dealing with is burnout.  Experienced by many, but it’s new to me.  Common signs of burnout include time off no longer being restful, decreased productivity, no passion/emotionally flat, a cynical attitude, and a sharp decline in physical/mental/emotional/spiritual health.  I am in the midst of all of these, to one degree or another.

So, my friend, I need to take a step back.  I need calendar space and emotional grace to process what got me here, how I will move forward, and where God is in this moment.  I didn’t plan on being here.  This wasn’t my aim.  And yet…here we are.

So, this is my plan (at least, as much as I have at the moment): I need to get back to meeting with God in His Word, without the constant pressure of “How am I going to teach this truth to someone else?”  I need to step out from under the weight of a writing a weekly blog that aims to share God’s Word in a Biblically-solid, enlightening, and occasionally humorous way.  I’ve been doing this for over 11 years now, and I feel really dry right at this moment.  I have several close friends that I’ll be talking with regularly as I work through this.  I trust their godly advice and their love for me.  So, please know that I’m not going at this alone (as tempting as that might be).

Here’s what it means for THE WORD: I’m going to republish a series I walked through three years ago, because its premise is going to be helpful to me over the coming weeks.  I am hopeful that it is helpful to you as well.  As we navigate the demands of life, we move at a rather frantic tempo.  This pace rarely, if ever, allows us to pause and meet with God in the moment.  The blog series I’m bringing back looked at specific stories from Jesus’ life in the book of Matthew, intentionally “pausing” in real-life moments.  I want to get better at pausing and recognizing God in my daily moments.  My hope and prayer is that this series will do the same for you.

Just last night, before I went to sleep, I was reading through Psalm 22.  Jesus recited this psalm as He hung on the cross.  It’s profoundly prophetic that King David would write these words 1,000 years before Jesus arrived.  The entire psalm is a back-and-forth between struggling with a crushing circumstance and yet still looking to God for rescue.  Here is the verse that I paused on:

Psalm 22:19
But you, Lord, do not be far from me.
You are my strength; come quickly to help me.

That simple prayer, do not be far from me, is what I’ll be praying over the coming weeks.

I won’t take up much more of your time, but I would ask – if you choose to pray for me – that you would pray that I do not waste this time away.  It would be an easy trap for me to fall into.  While I do need rest, I do not need my rest to become simply escapism.  Also, please pray that I accept whatever changes God presents to me, in whatever areas of life He chooses to rearrange.  It may be time to trust Him in new ways.

Thank you for listening, my friend.  I appreciate your understanding, your patience, and you giving me grace. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: The tunnel-vision trap

The tunnel-vision trap
Originally posted on June 13, 2019

Tunnel vision is almost never a good thing, and it can be an easy trap to fall into if we get wrapped up in the troubles of this world.  Politics, in all nations, is a mess – but we fret and twist and turn and argue about them.  Overall, humans haven’t taken great care of the environment, and we can get sole-focused worried about correcting our influence.  We inflict pain on each other, on a scale that ranges from our nearby neighbors and that reaches other countries – and they do the same back to us.  Watch any news broadcast, and it’s easy to get wrapped up in someone else’s tunnel-visioned issue being presenting at that moment.

Christians are also capable of falling into this tunnel-vision trap.  We can get so wrapped up in church issues, community issues, and even just the day-to-day grind that we forget about the larger picture God is painting.  God’s plan for humans started at Creation and stretches all the way into Eternity Future. 

Thankfully, God left us reminders.  During his letter to the believers in Rome, Paul discussed how our present identity in Christ relates to our Eternity Future:

Romans 8:16-18
The Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children, and if children also heirs – heirs of God and coheirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.

The troubles of this world and the suffering we all encounter – personal, health, and for being a Christian – can really bog us down.  We can easily become tunnel-visioned on all that is wrong with the world and wonder if any of this “Christian stuff” is worth it.  But when we keep this glory-filled future in mind, our perspective changes and we begin to see the world around us differently.  If fact, Paul also tells us that the creation itself is also looking forward to the revealing of that glory in us:

Romans 8:19-21
For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to futility – not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it – in the hope that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage to decay into the glorious freedom of God’s children.

When Adam and Eve introduced sin into the world, all of creation was frustrated, muted, and corrupted – and it hasn’t been fixed yet.  At times in nature, we seem to get a glimpse of a deeper beauty, or the potential for something greater…but that notion is fleeting at best.  However, when God brings humans back to the perfection we were created for, the creation will be liberated as well.

Romans 8:22-23
For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now.  Not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as firstfruits – we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.

Both the creation and Christians are yearning for this future renewal.  This longing for newness will be fulfilled.  Until then, it is good to recognize our desire for our eternal home with Christ.  It keeps today’s difficulties in perspective:

Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: I don't know what to read next

Sometimes, we just need a little guidance.

I don't know what to read next

Originally posted on July 15, 2021

One morning, a guy got up early, made coffee, and sat down to read his Bible.  The problem was that he didn’t know where to start.  After a few moments of staring at the unopened book sitting on his kitchen table, he still didn’t know what to do.  So he prayed, “Lord, I don’t know what I’m doing here.  Please give me direction on what I should read and what I should do today.”

Not knowing where to turn, he decided to randomly open to a page and point at a verse.  He hoped God would guide him.  Not wanting to end up in the Old Testament, he veered towards the right side of his Bible.  He landed on Matthew 27:5, Then he went and hanged himself.  “That’s…weird,” he muttered. “God, I’m looking for guidance here…” So he flipped a few pages forward and stopped at Luke 10:37, Then Jesus told him, “Go and do the same.”  Feeling a bit unnerved, he sought safety in the book of John.  Quickly turning there, he stopped at John 13:27, So Jesus told him, “What you’re doing, do quickly.”

I joke, I joke.

Randomly opening our Bibles, hoping God will direct our flipping around so we land on a piece of wisdom is never a good idea.  However, wondering what part of the Bible to read next is a very common concern for Christians who choose to spend time and effort seeking God.  There are lots of blog posts, study guides, and other plans out there.  Which one to choose?

You could treat the Bible like one big book and read it cover to cover.  In fact, many people do that – only to get bogged down in Exodus and then quitting at some chapter in Leviticus.  Read-the-Bible-in-a-year plans also take this approach.  You’ll end up reading 3 or 4 chapters a day, every day.  I have finished a yearly plan like this once.  It certainly had its benefits – knowing exactly how much to read, seeing some familiar New Testament references in Old Testament passages that I don’t routinely read – but you have to be aware of the drawbacks, too.  The challenges with this approach is that you’re mainly reading for information and not life change; also your daily chunk of chapters could easily become an anxiety-driven checkbox for your day.  All in all, I’m glad that I completed a full read of the Bible, because getting a 30,000 ft view of Scripture was great – but I do not have any plans to do it again.

Over the years of reading/studying/teaching the Bible, I have found that the slower approach is better.  Take the text in smaller pieces…think about it, pray about it, and then take what you learn into your daily life.  To help with that, I offer 3 suggestions:

·       Proverbs – Whatever day of month it is, read that chapter of Proverbs.  This is my go-to if I’m not sure what to read next or if I just want to read the Bible while I eat breakfast.  Chapters in Proverbs are easy to drop in anywhere and not lose any context.  Read through each proverb and look for truths you have experienced, perspectives you might not have considered, or situations you can trust God with.  It’s ok to linger on a proverb and just think through it.  Since this blog is posted on the 15th, when I turn to that chapter, I’m immediately challenged with the first verse:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger,
but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

 We can easily see the truth in this statement, but let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?  Allow yourself the time to think through questions like:

Why do I immediately recognize this to be true? 
How do I respond to gentle answers? 
How do I respond to harsh words?
Which one am I more likely to give at work? to my spouse? to my kids? to strangers?
Where in my life can God help me to be intentional about giving others a gentle answer?

I’m sure you could follow this train of thought with a few more questions of your own.  Just one verse…and a lot of good applications that can come from it.  These are easily found when you look at the Proverbs chapter that match the day of the month.

·       Psalms – Where the Proverbs are steady, logical life-principles, the Psalms are dripping with emotion and relationship.  The shortest one is just 2 verses (Psalm 117) and the longest is 176 verses (Psalm 119).  There are 150 Psalms, so you could easily read one Psalm per day and have a five month plan laid out for you (maybe spread out Psalm 119 over a few days).  What you’ll find is a lot of raw emotion, especially in David’s psalms.  He wasn’t afraid to tell God exactly how he felt, for better or worse, and in vivid detail.  Don’t get caught up in any graphic details or cultural references you may not understand…instead look for the theme of each psalm and think about why the Israelites would have sung these lines to God.  You might be surprised to find out that ancient people and modern people aren’t all that different in their struggles, concerns, and aspirations.

·       John – The book of John is THE place to start when reading the Bible.  John’s gospel is the only book explicitly written to non-believers to explain who Jesus is, the purpose and result of His mission, and – most importantly – how to obtain eternal life from Him.  The apostle admits that he could have written about any number of scenes in Jesus’ life, but the specific ones that he selected were to convince his readers that Jesus is the Son of God and that by simply believing in Him, anyone can have eternal life.  John gives no additional conditions or requirements.  In this gospel, you’ll find that in order to obtain eternal life, you don’t have to confess all your sins, believe certain facts in a certain order, promise to live better, repent, or make a commitment to follow Jesus – while all those are good things, they are not pre-conditions of eternal salvation.  The only requirement for eternal salvation is that you believe in Jesus for it.  Don’t believe me?  John’s gospel has 21 chapters – read one per day for the next three weeks, and ask God to show you exactly what He requires.

The main thing is that we continually get into our Bibles.  There are too many things that clamor for our attention every day, and this is the book that God has crafted over the centuries in an effort to reveal Himself to us.  Don’t get hung up on what to read next…just take the next step and don’t be afraid to take your time.  It’s more important that you grow in your relationship with God than checking the box on a reading plan each day. 

The focus isn’t on how many times you’ve been though the Bible…instead, how many times has the Bible been through you?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I’ve had it all backwards

Navigating an empty nest isn’t a new challenge in society, but it is still a relatively new challenge in our household.  With one son fully on his own and the other son in his last year of college, our “family” has shrunk to just me, my wife, and our dog. 

Not too long ago, I read that men tend to function at their highest levels of productivity when they are faced with “twenty-year challenges”.  The author argued that having a clearly-defined, long-term goal is a great way for men to focus and stay motivated.  These types of goals can be career-oriented, like starting/building an industry-leading business or achieving a C-suite promotion; or exercise goals, like completing 10 Ironman triathlons; or personal goals, like writing 3 NYT Best Sellers or learning to fluently speak 5 new languages.  These types of goals could also be financial, personal, or even relational…the point was for the guy to make them BIG, set a course, and then achieve it.

If the twenty-year challenge was completed in less than 20 years, that is a good thing.  But the author also suggested that once a goal has been met, a new twenty-year challenge should take its place.

There are many benefits to approaching life this way: clear direction in life, intentional actions, and learning to put off short-term gratification in order to reach a long-term better reward.  Most of all, twenty-year challenges help a man avoid spinning his wheels and merely dabbling around.

After reading the article, I realized that (although I had never referred to it as such), I had treated the raising and launching of our two boys like a “twenty-year challenge”.  Our goal has always been to teach them how to get along without us…because, let’s be honest…unless Jesus returns before we die, they will have to know how to live life on their own.  Seeing that this “twenty-year challenge” was coming to a close, I took the article’s advice and began to ponder what my next “twenty-year challenge” was going to be.

The problem was…nothing immediately came to mind.  Not that I didn’t see options, but I wasn’t sure which one to give the priority to.  So, I spent time thinking about it.  I spent time praying about it.  I spent time talking with my wife, my family, and my close friends about it.  But no “one thing” has risen to the surface for me to say, “Ah-hah!  That’s the next BIG thing for me.”

Then, a little while back, I was reading Proverbs while eating breakfast, and this gem captured my thoughts:

Proverbs 16:3
Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

I wanted to make sure I understood what I was reading, so I looked up the definition of a couple words:

activities = deeds, work, labor, pursuit
plans = plan, purpose

Immediately, I recognized the short-term vs. the long-term in this verse.  The activities I do are the short-term actions, and the plans are the long-term goals.  I also realized that I had been thinking about the empty-nest situation completely backwards.  As I had been pondering the next “twenty-year challenge”, I had been neglecting to give my day-to-day actions the emphasis this proverb requires.

Essentially, I was asking God to drop a new “twenty-year challenge” in my lap, but I wasn’t in the habit of making sure my daily pursuits were committed to the Lord.  But…why should I expect God to give me something BIG to work on, if I’m negligent in giving Him the small things?

This realization cut me deep and has shifted my perspective.  Intentionally committing my daily activities to the Lord isn’t something that comes naturally.  I mean, sure, generally speaking – I want to do life God’s way and live a life that He can be proud of me.  But these are the questions I’m now asking myself:

How can I commit what I eat for breakfast to the Lord?
How can I commit this next work call to the Lord?
How can I commit doing my household chores to the Lord?
How can I commit my down time – what I read, what I watch – to the Lord?

Do you see how challenging this application can be?  Since I read this proverb, I’ve endeavored to be better at it, trusting that as I rightly handle my day-to-day well, that God will establish the long-term plans He has for me.  As of this writing, I don’t know what my next “twenty-year challenge” is yet, but I’m going to take God at His word in this proverb.

How about you?  How would you apply Proverbs 16:3?

If you have any tips or suggestions, I’d love to hear them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I hate the phrase “It’s the journey, not the destination”

Some things sound really nice – until you stop and think about them.

“Listen to your heart” and “You do you” are common mantras of our day…but, they are flawed thinking.  If we’re honest, we can’t fully trust our heart because it has lied to us before, and always selfishly doing what I want leads to a dead end called “loneliness”.  As much as these two phrases cause me to roll my eyes whenever I hear them, there is another one that feels more like a cheese grater underneath my skin:

It’s the journey, not the destination.

It sounds nice, and people who say it mean well.  They want to emphasize the growth and praise the development a person experiences in life, as opposed to looking at all the big things they haven’t accomplished despite their hard work and life lessons learned.  Celebrating smaller steps can often give us the courage to take the next step – and I get that.  However, the real problem is that we’re not dealing with an either/or proposition here.

To minimize, or even ignore, the destination leaves us wandering around in life, bouncing from one feel-good moment to the next.  Left to our own devices, humans will not choose a harder path – unless there is a clear benefit to doing so.  Not only does that benefit become our “destination”, but the destination also guides the path to reach the benefit. 

If you want to go to Maui, Hawaii, there are many paths that can get you there – and each one has its own journey-lessons available – but, there is only one Maui, Hawaii.  Either you get there, or you don’t.  Even if you decide along the way that your “new destination” is Denver, and you apply all your “Maui journey lessons” to your new life in Denver – you’ll never get to enjoy the beauty of Maui and the opportunities that awaited you there.

The same “it’s the journey, not the destination” thinking can muddy up how we live our lives as Christians.  It is too easy, as believers, to think that just because we’ve believed in Jesus for eternal life and He’s promised us that we’re going to heaven…then God’s good with whatever we do, right?  Wrong.

Jesus repeatedly warned His disciples that how they lived their lives would matter in eternity.  He told them to “store up for yourselves treasure in heaven” (Matthew 6:20), which logically means that the “treasures” aren’t heaven, it must be something else.  Something that they earn now and has value for them later in eternity.

Jesus’ longest recorded sermon (aka “The Sermon on the Mount”) focuses entirely on how to live with His Kingdom in mind and how to earn those treasures in heaven.  You can read it in Matthew 5:1 – 7:29.  He ends the sermon with an application challenge – for those who listened to Him to choose: either put His teachings to use and be like a wise man who builds his house upon a rock solid foundation or ignore what He taught and be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand.  While this parable has its own fascinating teaching, I want to focus on something He said just before this, which has a similar intention:

Matthew 7:13-14
Enter through the narrow gate.  For the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it.  How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Many have assumed that the destruction destination represents hell, and that the life destination represents heaven.  They say that “unsaved people” walk the broad road, and “saved people” walk the narrow road.  Reading these verses in isolation, I can see how you could come to these conclusions – however, Jesus did not speak them in isolation.  This mini-parable is part of the same closing statements as the builders parable, which closes out The Sermon on the Mount.

The correct understanding is to recognize (based on the context) that all the travelers in the parable are believers.  The Greek word for destruction is apoleia, which can also be translated as “ruin”, is the destination of those who take the wide, easy road.  Only those who choose the difficult road of being a disciple will find the full quality of life that Jesus desires for us to live. 

We can choose to be a lazy child of God or we can choose to put His Sermon on the Mount teachings into practice.  The easy road will take us to a place of ruin and destruction – a life of wasted opportunity.  The difficult road leads to a full life now, with rewards and opportunities in eternity future.

Each day, we can choose which road to walk.  But be mindful of the destination when making that choice.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A better way to pray for each other

Can I be honest with you for a minute?

Not that I’m ever dishonest with you…but there’s a common practice in Christian circles that really bothers me, and I’d like to take a moment here to get it off my chest.

It’s about how we handle prayer requests when we’re in a group setting.

Whether you find yourself in a circle of volunteers, a Sunday School class, a “small group”, or a “community group” – towards the end of the meeting time, a leader typically asks if anyone has any prayer requests.  While I love the idea of offering to pray for the other people I’m serving with or those who I just had a deeper-level spiritual discussion with, it’s the variety of answers that come back…that’s where I’m struggling.

“My sister-in-law’s friend is going through a divorce.  I would appreciate prayers for that.”
“My co-worker’s mother just died.  Please pray for their family.”
“My neighbors are going through a situation that I can’t go into detail about right now.  So, an ‘unspoken’ prayer request for them.”

After a few of these requests, I’m sorry…but I get lost.  It’s hard to remember the names of people I don’t know or be able to petition the Creator of the Universe(!) on behalf of situations I know almost nothing about.  When these kinds of prayers are requested, what is typically prayed?  Some mumbled version of

“Dear God, please help them…with…their stuff…that they’re dealing with right now.  You know the details…and we trust that you’re going to…make this better somehow.  Amen.”

Those are some weak words, my friends.

That may feel harsh to read, but there is a better way to handle group prayer requests.  When someone offers up one of these “distantly-related-to-me” prayer requests, gently redirect them with these questions:

How can we pray that God will work through you in their lives? 
How can we pray for God to equip you to show His love for them?

Questions like these make the situation tangible for both the requestor and those who are present.  We are much more likely to pray again later for our friend Hillary than we are going to remember to pray for Hillary’s sister-in-law’s friend’s divorce.  Similarly, we will gladly pray for Jeff to comfort his co-worker, or for Jessica to love on her neighbors.

Keeping the prayer requests to just those in our immediate group has a dramatic impact on what we say to God and how we say it.  In that moment, not only are we lifting each other up in prayer, but we’re actively engaging God together.  These kinds of prayers will bind a group of people together with a shared petition and a shared purpose.  AND…later on, it gives us a point to reconnect with each other:

Hey Jeff, I’ve been praying about you with your co-worker.  How’s it going?  How have you seen God show up?

When you get the rest of the story from Jeff, you both have something to celebrate together – that God answers prayer.  This builds our connection with each other, our community’s connection with God, and it builds our faith in God.

Isn’t that a much better outcome than praying one-time for a generic “unspoken” request?

But…if someone still insists that you pray for their brother’s-coworker’s-son (you know it will happen), we can at least look to an example from the Apostle Paul, when he prayed for people he didn’t know in a church that he hadn’t visited yet:

Colossians 1:9-12
For this reason also, since the day we heard [about you from our friend], we haven’t stopped praying for you.  We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him: bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, so that you may have great endurance and patience, joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the saints’ inheritance in the light.

Paul doesn’t pray for their comfort, their preferences, or against their hardships.  He prays that God will mature them and as they grow closer to God, they will better reflect Him to the world.  Those are not weak words. 

So the next time you’re in a group and someone offers up a prayer request for a distant connection of theirs, be brave and gently ask how you can pray for them in that situation.  And if you’re still not sure how to pray for someone, then feel free to pull up Colossians 1:9-12 and pray those words for them.  We’ll better honor the God we pray to, and we’ll become more connected with each other in the process.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A Hall of Famer’s biggest regret

I’ve loved watching NFL football and the Kansas City Chiefs since I was a kid in the early 90s.  One of the Chiefs’ biggest rivals has always been the Denver Broncos.  There have been epic, back-and-forth matchups between the two teams over the years, with superstars and Hall of Fame-level players on both sides.  While I may not care much for Broncos players when they’re playing, I’ve always maintained a level of grudging respect for their good players.

However, one player always bugged me.  I never liked his attitude, his mouth, or the fact that he was so stinkin’ good – his name was Shannon Sharpe, and he played the Tight End position.  He’d talk trash, back it up, and then talk some more.  He never stopped talking, and his persona was always larger-than-life.  On the field, he was close to unstoppable.  He was the first TE to reach over 10,000 receiving yards, and he won 3 Superbowl Championships in his career.  Life was much easier for my Chiefs once he retired in 2003, after playing for 14 seasons.  He was elected to the ProFootball Hall of Fame in 2011.

During an interview in the spring of 2023, Shannon Sharpe was asked an interesting question, and his answer was much more transparent than I expected.  He was asked “What advice would you go back and give yourself as a rookie?”

Here is his reply:

What would I tell myself?

I don't know. Honestly guys, from the time that I made it [to the NFL], everything was about football. I ate, I slept, I breathed, I talked football.  And I think…I was terrible at a lot of things, except football. I was terrible at being a brother, terrible at being a son. I was terrible at being a father. I was terrible at being a boyfriend.

I was terrible at all of those, but I was a damn good football player.

Probably…I wish I could, look, I would go back, if I could tell my rookie self…I would say, “the way you judge success” because everything that I look at now is judged by success.

And that's the only thing. And so even my relationships now, here I am about to be double nickel [55] in about four months, is still judged by success. And so I would say, “Shannon, everything that you've accomplished doesn't mean anything, because you don't have anybody to share it with.”

That's what I would tell myself. I would do it…if I would do it over again. I would find that one person [to share life with]…and that's what I would do.

Of all the things he could have told himself as a rookie – the most important message he wanted to send back is that our relationships are the top, lasting priority.  You can hear his regret as he spoke about all the relationships he was “terrible” at.  Despite all the fame, money, and football glory he enjoyed…the missing link, as he sees it now, was a wife to share it with.

His comments bring to mind a few Scriptures:

Genesis 2:18, 24
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper corresponding to him.”…This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.  Also if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?

God made us to be relational beings – we really do need each other.  We were created to have a spouse, and there is a strong desire in us to find that special, unique connection between a man and a woman.  Unfortunately, we’re often bad a recognizing how much of a priority this connection needs to be.  We let many things get in the way, but the value of having “someone to share life with” surpasses all other achievements, awards, or personal experiences. 

I encourage you to ask yourself the following hard questions:

What priority-level do relationships have in my life?
If they should be a higher priority, what immediate steps will I take to fix that?
If I believe they are prioritized correctly, what am I actively doing to keep them there?

Don’t get to the point where you look back on your life and realize that all your “success” wasn’t very successful because you failed to prioritize your relationships along the way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

You first, not me first

A friend of mine pays careful attention to his diet.  So much so, that he inspects labels before purchasing items from a grocery store, and he also analyzes online menus when considering a restaurant for a date night with his wife.  What is he so diligently on the lookout for?  Wheat and gluten.  But not because he’s allergic or has any sensitivity to it.  In fact, he’s perfectly fine to eat a large bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. 

So why does he go through all that work, constantly monitoring what food is allowed in his house and asking pointed questions of restaurant staff about their kitchen protocols – when he doesn’t really need to?

He does these things because his wife has both Celiac and Crohn’s disease.  Accidently ingesting even a little bit of wheat or gluten would be devastating and extremely painful for her.  Of course, she is on a strict wheat-free and gluten-free diet.  So, in turn, is my friend.

He’s giving up a large portion of his food options in order to protect his wife.  He doesn’t have to, really.  He could tell her that she’s on her own for keeping “her food” separate from “his food” and then go on to eat all the pasta, pretzels, and cakes that he desires.  Instead, he has set aside his rights and preferences in order to meet her needs.  He’s a huge fan of Mexican food, especially flour tortilla burritos, so living the wheat-free and gluten-free life is an admirable sacrifice…but one that he believes is completely worth it because of whom he’s doing it for.

My friend is a great example of what it looks like to put someone else first – something we Christians are repeatedly called to do in Scripture.  Here’s just one example:

Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.  Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.

It’s obvious to see how my friend is living out this command in his marriage.  He is considering her situation, a dietary syndrome that she has no control over, to be more important than his opportunity to eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants.  It’s not just a one-time sacrifice for him, either – it’s every day, for the rest of their lives. 

This “you first, not me first” attitude can be applied in any area of our lives, and it can show up in both big and small ways – perhaps as simple as giving the TV clicker to someone else to choose the next show, asking for (and actively listening to) someone’s opinion or experience before sharing your own, or jumping in to regularly help at church or a local non-profit. 

OR…if you want to go for this “you first, not me first” lifestyle in a BIG TIME manner…resolve now to let other cars merge into your lane.  Even if they don’t deserve it.  Even if they are driving like a jerk.  Even if you really want to “teach them a lesson” by speeding up and not letting them in.

What we often don’t realize is that the “you first, not me first” actions – even when grudgingly done – carry more weight than just the benefit to the recipient.  Each time we put someone else’s needs before our own desires, we are rewiring our brains to take the focus off of ourselves.  This mindset takes practice and time to fully mature, but once it does…the mindset becomes the default guide for all our actions.

If you continue reading Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi, you’ll find that this “you first, not me first” lifestyle is one that God honors and rewards.  Since God doesn’t take His offer of rewards lightly, neither should we.  To get there, all we need to do is take our focus off ourselves (whether the situation means adjusting our diets or letting people merge).  These are sacrifices worth making, all because of whom we’re doing it for.

Keep Pressing,
Ken