I’ve had it all backwards
Navigating an empty nest isn’t a new challenge in society, but it is still a relatively new challenge in our household. With one son fully on his own and the other son in his last year of college, our “family” has shrunk to just me, my wife, and our dog.
Not too long ago, I read that men tend to function at their highest levels of productivity when they are faced with “twenty-year challenges”. The author argued that having a clearly-defined, long-term goal is a great way for men to focus and stay motivated. These types of goals can be career-oriented, like starting/building an industry-leading business or achieving a C-suite promotion; or exercise goals, like completing 10 Ironman triathlons; or personal goals, like writing 3 NYT Best Sellers or learning to fluently speak 5 new languages. These types of goals could also be financial, personal, or even relational…the point was for the guy to make them BIG, set a course, and then achieve it.
If the twenty-year challenge was completed in less than 20 years, that is a good thing. But the author also suggested that once a goal has been met, a new twenty-year challenge should take its place.
There are many benefits to approaching life this way: clear direction in life, intentional actions, and learning to put off short-term gratification in order to reach a long-term better reward. Most of all, twenty-year challenges help a man avoid spinning his wheels and merely dabbling around.
After reading the article, I realized that (although I had never referred to it as such), I had treated the raising and launching of our two boys like a “twenty-year challenge”. Our goal has always been to teach them how to get along without us…because, let’s be honest…unless Jesus returns before we die, they will have to know how to live life on their own. Seeing that this “twenty-year challenge” was coming to a close, I took the article’s advice and began to ponder what my next “twenty-year challenge” was going to be.
The problem was…nothing immediately came to mind. Not that I didn’t see options, but I wasn’t sure which one to give the priority to. So, I spent time thinking about it. I spent time praying about it. I spent time talking with my wife, my family, and my close friends about it. But no “one thing” has risen to the surface for me to say, “Ah-hah! That’s the next BIG thing for me.”
Then, a little while back, I was reading Proverbs while eating breakfast, and this gem captured my thoughts:
Proverbs 16:3
Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
I wanted to make sure I understood what I was reading, so I looked up the definition of a couple words:
activities = deeds, work, labor, pursuit
plans = plan, purpose
Immediately, I recognized the short-term vs. the long-term in this verse. The activities I do are the short-term actions, and the plans are the long-term goals. I also realized that I had been thinking about the empty-nest situation completely backwards. As I had been pondering the next “twenty-year challenge”, I had been neglecting to give my day-to-day actions the emphasis this proverb requires.
Essentially, I was asking God to drop a new “twenty-year challenge” in my lap, but I wasn’t in the habit of making sure my daily pursuits were committed to the Lord. But…why should I expect God to give me something BIG to work on, if I’m negligent in giving Him the small things?
This realization cut me deep and has shifted my perspective. Intentionally committing my daily activities to the Lord isn’t something that comes naturally. I mean, sure, generally speaking – I want to do life God’s way and live a life that He can be proud of me. But these are the questions I’m now asking myself:
How can I commit what I eat for breakfast to the Lord?
How can I commit this next work call to the Lord?
How can I commit doing my household chores to the Lord?
How can I commit my down time – what I read, what I watch – to the Lord?
Do you see how challenging this application can be? Since I read this proverb, I’ve endeavored to be better at it, trusting that as I rightly handle my day-to-day well, that God will establish the long-term plans He has for me. As of this writing, I don’t know what my next “twenty-year challenge” is yet, but I’m going to take God at His word in this proverb.
How about you? How would you apply Proverbs 16:3?
If you have any tips or suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
Keep Pressing,
Ken