Proverbial life: truly generous

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that can get muddied up during the Christmas season: generosity.

The gift giving traditions of the Christmas season will often bring the topic of generosity into focus.  However, we can all admit that the hustle and bustle makes it easy to think of generosity as no more than a ritual where various plastic items and shiny things are given and received.  Successfully navigating the parties, gift exchanges, and the ever-looming Christmas morning quickly becomes an exercise in trying to find the perfect plastic or shiny object to “generously” show our affection and care.

Now, I love to give good gifts.  I also love to receive good gifts.  But when we look at Solomon’s wisdom about generosity in the book of Proverbs, we don’t see much in terms of a gift exchange.  Our first proverb looks at what we already have, no need to go shopping:

Proverbs 3:27
When it is in your power, don’t withhold good from the one to whom it belongs.
Don’t say to your neighbor, “Go away!  Come back later.  I’ll give it tomorrow” – when it is there with you.

Putting someone off is the opposite of being generous.  If we have the ability and capacity to do good – especially to your neighbor – then let’s hop to it!  Providing good in the moment it’s needed is not only generous, but shows how much you value your neighbor and their well-being.  We can easily detect when someone is putting us off, especially when we could use their help.  Let’s not put others in that situation.  Let’s be known for our timely generosity.

Our second proverb almost reads like a contradiction to our instincts:

Proverbs 11:24
One person gives freely, yet gains more;
another withholds what is right, only to become poor.

How in the world can you “gain more” if you’re always giving it away?  And if I keep my hard-earned money, it sure doesn’t seem like I will become poor.  This proverb doesn’t make sense, from a materialistic point of view.  And yet…it’s been my experience that the most generous Christians always seem to have the means to be generous, and those of us who get Scroogey with what God has given us ends up losing it somehow.

Our third proverb is the very next verse, which continues the thought:

Proverbs 11:25
A generous person will be enriched,
and the one who gives a drink of water will receive water.

If you take the larger view, that what you gain from giving generously isn’t only money, then these two proverbs open us up to a whole new realm of possibility.  Here is a short list of how we will be enriched when we choose to give freely: we meet someone’s need, we express compassion, we form a new connection, we strengthen relationships, and we affirm God’s others-focused priorities.  When we are miserly and withhold what is right, we gain none of those. 

Our last proverb points us to a practical place to start being generous:

Proverbs 28:27
The one who gives to the poor will not be in need,
but one who turns his eyes away will receive many curses.

Once again, when we read “the poor”, our immediate thought goes to how much money another person doesn’t have.  There are many in financial distress that could use some relief; however, we often turn our eyes away and justify doing so by pledging to give more when we are in a “better financial position” to do so.  But…there are many ways to meet the needs of “the poor”, i.e. – someone who has less than you: less skills, less opportunity, less education, less awareness of God’s love.  Don’t let your own financial situation prevent you from sharing in the places you are rich.

Based on Solomon’s proverbs, our capacity for generosity is more about our willingness to share what we have than it is about what we are able to go out and buy.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Knowing when to give assistance

There is no shortage of people who need help.  No matter what lies the health-and-wealth teachers may tell, there are poor people in our churches who need help.  Whether due to circumstances beyond their control, circumstances which they created, or some combination of the two…there are needs all around us.

But how do we decide, who gets help…or who possibly “deserves” it more than someone else?  I have a tough time figuring that out as an individual, but have we considered how our church should be responding to assistance requests?  Logistically speaking, our churches have bills to pay, too.  So, it’s unrealistic to expect that every single request for support can or will be met at 100%.

Resources vs Needs isn’t a new problem for the church, either.  Paul addressed it with Timothy regarding the needs of widows in the Ephesian church.  Widowhood was a serious situation for women in the ancient world, since they were not typically the direct heir of husband’s will, and income generating options were limited, at best.  Additionally, if the husband was poor, he may not have left much for his wife to live on.

Her needs would be more significant than a one-time pantry-stocking trip to the local grocery store.  So how was Timothy to handle this significant of a request for continual support?

1 Timothy 5:3-4
Support widows who are genuinely widows.  But if any widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn to practice their religion toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God.

Timothy’s first step is to thoroughly check for family.  I almost find it humorous that Paul says “Support widows who are genuinely widows”.  First step is to verify that her husband is truly dead.  The second step is check for extended family, especially if they are believers.  If they’ve been adopted into God’s family, then they have no excuse to skip out on taking care of members of their earthly family.  There were no assisted living homes and no hospice care in the ancient world.  The family’s care for the widow is an act of worship and respect toward God, which He finds pleasing because their actions are a reflection of his own.

1 Timothy 5:5-7
The real widow, left all alone, has put her hope in God and continues night and day in her petitions and prayers; however, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.  Command this so that they won’t be blamed. 

The real widow, the one the church should consider helping is destitute and has no other family options.  In fact, she considers the church her last resort…notice that she goes to God directly and repeatedly before she approaches the church body with her need.

Paul also affirms that the widow’s lifestyle should be considered prior to giving assistance.  If she is living a self-indulgent lifestyle, then she probably won’t be wise with the funds the church may give her.  In this case, there are other issues to address that are greater than her immediate need.

Lastly, Paul gives an ominous warning:

1 Timothy 5:8
Now if anyone does not provide for his own relatives, and especially for his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Paul pulls no punches here, so let’s be as practical as possible:

If I have the resources to take care of my widowed mother, and I refuse to do so…which forces her to rely on support from the local church, using funds that should go to those who are genuinely in need…how is that not stealing from God? 

Clearly, this verse is addressed to believers, since the comparison is with an unbeliever.  So, denying the faith doesn’t mean that I would not be part of God’s family.  What it means is that I would be grossly hypocritical of the love and resources that God has extended to me.  God did not withhold His resources when I could not save myself.  How can I claim to be a part of His family and then have my actions deny the faith and relationship with God?  At least an unbeliever’s words and actions match up.  What damage am I doing to God’s reputation if I have no good reason to refuse to help?

Our application of this passage is two-fold:

If we have family members who are destitute, it is our responsibility to care for them – not the church’s.  This doesn’t mean we pay for all their bills each month, either.  “Destitute” means just that.  We should not be passing off our family’s financial burdens to our church family.

If the church is approached by an individual in great need, it is both acceptable and wise to evaluate the depth of that need.  It is also wise to evaluate the person’s lifestyle.  Financing someone’s irresponsibility is less loving than telling a person “No, we will not help you in this way”, especially if there are deeper needs to address.  If there are other avenues of help available, either through their family or other modern-day options, that is acceptable as well.

The problem of societal needs is not new.  However, we must be wise with how/when we support others.  Everything we do, whether we give assistance or refuse assistance, must be done within the context of reflecting God to others.

Keep Pressing,
Ken