Round 2: Pausing in the bitter moments

Pausing in the bitter moments
Originally posted on November 18, 2021

When we read the Bible, we have a tendency to read it too fast.  This happens a lot when reading the accounts of Jesus and His disciples or during any narrative portion of Scripture recounting historical actions and conversations.  Due to familiarity with the text and that we know where the story is going next, we run the risk of glossing over important details and poignant moments.  We forget that for the people we are reading about, this was once real life.  They weren’t privy to the next verse.  They were living their lives day-to-day, just like you and I do.

The moment I want to pause at is found in Matthew 26.  Early in the chapter, Jesus has His Last Supper with His disciples, and He revealed that one of them was going to betray Him.  As expected, everyone wanted to know who it was (especially making sure it wasn’t them!).  Later, when they are at the Mount of Olives, Jesus revealed even more of what was coming:

Matthew 26:31-35
Then Jesus said to them, “Tonight all of you will fall away because of me, for it is written:
I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.
But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.”

Peter told Him, “Even if everyone falls away because of you, I will never fall away.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to him, “tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
“Even if I have to die with you,” Peter told Him, “I will never deny you,” and all the disciples said the same thing.

Peter said this, but everyone else took the same vow.  Next, Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray.  You can read what He prayed in John 17, but the detail to note here is that Jesus separated from His disciples to pray…but took Peter, James, and John with Him.  He wanted to be with those He was closest to in His final hours.  Jesus asked that the three of them stay awake and pray while He wrestled with what God the Father would have Him do next.  But when He came back to them, they were asleep.  Waking them up, He specifically asked Peter – the one who promised undying support – “So, couldn’t you stay awake with me one hour?”  Jesus went back to pray and the scene played out two more times.  They couldn’t stay awake, despite Jesus’ need.  For a total of three times, Jesus’ inner circle failed Him this way.

Then Judas – the betrayer disciple – came to the garden with mob carrying swords and clubs.  When they took hold of Jesus, Peter drew his sword and hit a guy hard enough to whack off his ear.  But Jesus responded: “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up the sword will perish by the sword.  Or do you think that I cannot call on my Father, and He will provide me here and now with more than twelve legions of angels?  How then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”  At this point, all the disciples deserted Him and ran away.

Peter escaped the arresting mob, but then hung back and followed them at a distance as they took Jesus to the high priest.  Peter was able to get inside the courtyard, but could go no further.  In Jerusalem, he was a fish out of water.  Peter was a rough fisherman from up north, in Galilee; and the sophisticated Jews of the south considered Galileans to be crude, unrefined hicks.  Peter would have to wait outside and among strangers to find out any news.  This is where we pick up the story:

Matthew 26:69-75
Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard.  A servant girl approached him and said, “You were with Jesus the Galilean too.”
But he denied it in front of everyone: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
When he had gone out to the gateway, another woman saw him and told those who were there, “This man was with Jesus the Nazarene!”
And again he denied it with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
After a little while those standing there approached and said to Peter, “You really are one of them, since even your accent gives you away.”
Then he started to curse and to swear with an oath, “I don’t know the man!”  Immediately a rooster crowed, and Peter remembered the words Jesus had spoken, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”  And he went outside and wept bitterly.

He wept bitterly.  Pause right there.  Put yourself in Peter’s sandals for a moment.  He had followed Jesus for 3+ years.  Peter was part of Jesus’ inner circle and the de facto leader of the disciples.  Just a few hours ago, he made a vow on his life that he would never deny who Jesus was and what He meant to him.  But what’s happened since Peter made that adamant vow?  Jesus rebuked him on three separate occasions…and then Peter vehemently denied even knowing who Jesus was – three times, just as Jesus predicted!  The last denial was a complete opposite of the vow he made to Jesus.  Don’t sugar-coat this part.  Him “cursing and swearing an oath” would have come across as something like: May God strike me dead if I’m lying, I don’t $%#@ know the man!  As soon as he said these words, the rooster crowed…

Don’t move on in the text just yet.  Stop and feel Peter’s shame.  Remember what it’s like to completely fail someone you love.  Over the last several hours, every action Peter took and every word Peter spoke was wrong.  He failed, spectacularly.  And as far as Peter can see, there is no chance for apology or restoration.  Peter is stuck, alone, and utterly disgusted with himself.  Now…we understand his bitter tears.

We have moments in life like Peter’s.  We’ve blown it so big that we don’t know how life can go on.  But just because Peter didn’t know the next verse doesn’t mean he would forever live in that shame-filled moment.  As we continue to read the Scriptures, we find that Jesus did restore Peter (John 21:15-19). 

By pausing and identifying with this part of Peter’s story, we find that it is an example – God can restore us, just like He restored Peter.  Even when the bitter tears we cry are completely our fault. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Preparing is good, but only to a point

This past Sunday, I stepped in to guest-preach again.  This was Week 2 of a 7-part series through the book of Philippians called “Level Up Your Life”.  I arrived early to do a run through with the tech crew and band.  As I was setting down my things, my sound guy turned and asked, “Are you ready to go up there today?”  His question was full of encouragement and support.  I could tell he was genuinely happy for me to step up and teach.

In reply, I quoted this proverb from King Solomon:

Proverbs 21:31
A horse is prepared for the day of battle,
but victory comes from the Lord.

I went on to explain that I’d practiced as many times as I could throughout the week prior, and I felt good about teaching the lessons I had learned from Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi.  My text was Philippians 1:12-30.  In this section, Paul discusses his house arrest confinement in Rome and how he’s dealing with it.  He was sent by God to preach all over the known world, but now he was confined to a small house, chained day-and-night to a Roman soldier.  I focused on how Paul handled his stuck situation and used his example as one that we can follow when we are stuck, as well.

I knew the rhythm and timing I wanted as my message would move from story, to text, to teaching, to an occasional joke thrown in.  I told the volunteer running the slides when to expect me to pause on a verse to teach and when he could expect me to read several verses in a row. 

During the week, my practice sessions varied in their approach.  Sometimes, I would read the text out loud from my Microsoft Word document.  As the week went on, these sessions became run throughs with just the verses I would use for slides, and no notes.  I also tried something new: while doing other activities around the house, I used Microsoft Word’s read aloud function – as a way to reinforce the pattern of the Scriptures and the flow of my message points in between.

My goal with all the practice and the run through was to ensure that I wasn’t the focus of the message.  I wanted God’s Word to speak and be the star, with me being there for support and to provide context and clarification.  If I hadn’t prepared, then I would have risked losing my train of thought or missed a point altogether – either of which would have taken the focus off of God’s Word and could have caused confusion for those who listened on Sunday.

While I wanted to be as prepared as possible – as much as a horse is prepared for the day of battle – I had no control over how those who heard the message would choose to apply it.  That is the real point of preaching – to explain the Scriptures and inspire the listeners to action.  How the hearers respond is God’s work with them, and not my work to do.

My delivery on Sunday went well, because I was well prepared.  If you’d like to watch the message, you can watch it here.  From some of the feedback I have received, I can tell that God’s Word is working on their hearts and in their minds.  That is the real victory.  I’m simply happy to do my small part and partner with God as He does His big part.

My questions to you, then, are

Where are you partnering with God right now? 
How are you serving others, either at a church service or outside of a church’s meeting?
What can you do ahead of time to help you prepare to serve as effectively as possible?

Just showing up and “winging it” does a disservice to those we are trying to serve.  Preparing ahead of time helps us keep the focus off us and on God, which is where it belongs.  Being prepared also helps us keep in mind our responsibilities vs God’s responsibilities.  Blurring those lines leaves us feeling like we need to always “get a win” or “close the deal”.  Instead, it’s better to stick to our role – be prepared, serve faithfully, and let Him handle the victories.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The unfairness of it all

Have you ever been wronged so badly, that you were stuck in a negative situation?
Have the actions of others caused you to be separated from those you love?
Have you ever felt like the legal system is stacked against you?

Injustice can hit us from many different angles.  Often times, there isn’t an easy solution to the situation, either.  Since we live in a fallen world, we can’t completely stop injustice from ever happening.  It’s all too easy to snap-react out of self-protection and the elevated emotions of the moment.  Instead of getting caught up and swayed by our circumstances, let’s think about how we’re going to handle unfair situations.  Looking to how others managed their situations can help us manage our own.

The Apostle Paul knew what it was like to suffer injustice.  He was railroaded out of Judah for preaching about Jesus.  After appealing his case to Caesar, he was transported to Rome – and left under house arrest for 2 years!

Think about Paul’s situation.  He had a specific calling from God to preach the gospel to the non-Jewish world.  He preaches for years in Antioch, with great success.  He takes three mission trips, traveling all over the Mediterranean, making converts, starting churches, writing letters that became Scripture, creating disciples, mentoring, teaching, and on and on.  Yes, he faced dangers and threats on his life – but he was able to move from community to community and share Jesus with anyone who would listen.

But now, he’s stuck.  He can’t leave.  People could come to him, but if one of his mentees or planted churches needed him…he can’t go to them.  He can’t face their opposition with them.  His spiritual children will not have their spiritual father by their side.

How would you feel in this situation?
What would you do?
How would you bide your time until your court date arrives?

It would have been easy for Paul to get lost in the helplessness of the situation, sulk, and withdraw.  Or he could have chosen to rant and vent about the unfairness of it all.  I could easily imagine myself fluctuating back and forth, between those extremes.  But what did Paul do?

He started to write.

During that two year period of house arrest, Paul produced four of the letters that you and I now read as vital, God-inspired Scripture: Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon.  These letters address situations, doctrinal beliefs, and practical Christian living in ways we don’t find in the rest of the New Testament.  Part of me wonders how different the letters would have been, or if Paul would have written the letters at all, if he had not been unfairly stuck in house arrest.  (Of course, God in His sovereignty would have found another time or author to communicate His truths…but it would not have been the same as what we have now)

All four letters reference his current “stuck” situation, but he says the most curious perspective-setting statement in his letter to the church in Philippi:

Philippians 1:12-13
Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually advanced the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard, and to everyone else, that my imprisonment is because I am in Christ.

Are you telling me…that Paul sees his experienced injustice – as a good thing?

He had been wronged.  The legal system was against him.  Those in power had not done the right thing when they had the chance.  And as a result of all this, he was stuck.

But in his stuck-ness, Caeser’s whole imperial guard has now heard the good news that Jesus gives eternal life to all who believe in Him for it.  The injustice put him in a position that actually advanced the gospel.  Others had hoped to hinder the good news from spreading, but God used the situation to actually do the opposite.

So, let’s go back to our earlier questions, now that we see from Paul’s example what God is capable of:

How would you feel when you experience injustice?
What do you do?

However, this is the main question we should be focusing on:
How will you make your unfair situation about advancing the gospel instead of only searching for a way out of it? 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Attitudes in Stuckville

I hate feeling stuck.  I hate the feeling of being trapped in a situation with no easy or immediate escape.  Here are a few “stuck” situation examples: a job or responsibility I no longer want to perform, a gathering of people I don’t want to be around, or even a conversation I don’t want to have.  I also despise the “stuck mood” I typically develop.  I can easily become grouchy, suspicious, and generally no fun to be around.  Even if I can keep up a happy face in these kinds of situations, my “stuck mood” is swirling underneath and clouding up my thoughts. 

Perhaps you recognize these same tendencies in yourself.  Unfortunately, I don’t think we can always avoid ending up being stuck.  There are times when circumstances are out of our control, and – fair or not – we have to manage the situation in front of us the best we can.  Welcome to Stuckville, population: me.

I recently talked through these kinds of situations and feelings with the elementary school age kids at my church a couple of Sundays ago.  It was a good lesson for them and me to discuss, because it’s important for us to recognize that God is still at work when we’re feeling “stuck.”  The story we looked at was from Paul’s second missionary journey.  Paul and Silas were in the city of Philippi when this incident happened:

Acts 16:16-18
Once, as we were on our way to prayer, a slave girl met us who had a spirit by which she predicted the future.  She made a large profit for her owners by fortune-telling.  As she followed Paul and us she cried out, “These men, who are proclaiming to you a way of salvation, are the servants of the Most High God.”  She did this for many days.

It's easy to think: Well, she’s not wrong.  Paul and Silas were servants of God and they were proclaiming that if you believe in Jesus, He saves you by giving you eternal life.  The difficult part was that she followed them for many days and said this repeatedly.  When I imagine this scene, I don’t think her tone was all that helpful, either.  Perhaps she said these words with a sneer or in a mocking tone.  In any case, after several days of her pestering, Paul had had enough.

Acts 16:18
Paul was greatly annoyed.  Turning to the spirit, he said, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her!”  And it came out right away.

Good.  Problem solved, right?  Demon-possessed girl is no longer demon-possessed, with Paul and Silas now free to continue ministering.  Instead, a new problem was just starting:

Acts 16:19-24
When her owners realized that their hope of profit was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to the authorities.  Bringing them before the chief magistrates, they said, “These men are seriously disturbing our city.  They are Jews and are promoting customs that are not legal for us as Romans to adopt or practice.  The crowd joined in the attack against them, and the chief magistrates stripped off their clothes and ordered them to be beaten with rods.  After they had severely flogged them, they threw them in jail, ordering the jailer to guard them carefully.  Receiving such an order, he put them into the inner prison and secured their feet in the stocks.

Here we have Paul and Silas completely stuck.  They were unfairly mobbed and physically attacked.  Even those who were supposed to be in authority were against them.  If I had been severely flogged and then thrown in jail, I’m pretty sure my emotions would be all over the place.  Angry?  Absolutely.  Scared?  Definitely.  Feeling abandoned by God?  Yeah.

And it’s possible that Paul and Silas felt all those things…but look what they did next:

Acts 16:25
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. 

In the middle of Stuckville, where was their focus?  It wasn’t on themselves or their immediate situation.  As this midnight worship session was going on, something happened:

Acts 16:26-28
Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the jail were shaken, and immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s chains came loose.  When the jailer woke up and saw the doors of the prison standing open, he drew his sword and was going to kill himself, since he thought the prisoners had escaped.

But Paul called out in a loud voice, “Don’t harm yourself, because we’re all here!”

Roman law said that if you lost your prisoner, then you must compensate that loss with your life.  But Paul stopped the jailer before he could complete his suicidal act.  What happened next was probably not what Paul and Silas expected when they were dragged into the jail that night.

Acts 16:29-34
The jailer called for lights, rushed in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas.  He escorted them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

They said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved – you and your household.”  And they spoke the word of the Lord to him along with everyone in his house.  He took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds.  Right away he and all his family were baptized.  He brought them into his house, set a meal before them, and rejoiced because he had come to believe in God with his entire household.

This is the point that the kids and I focused in on: If Paul and Silas had not gone through their unfair ordeal, if they had not been “stuck” by circumstances outside of their control, then the Philippian jailer and his family would not have heard and believed the gospel that night.  A whole family’s eternal destiny was changed…but Paul and Silas needed to be “stuck” in order to reach them.  The kids also agreed it will be pretty cool in Heaven to meet and play with the jailer’s kids.

So when we find ourselves in Stuckville, and we can’t get out of it…if we keep our focus on God, He can give us purpose and joy when we’re tempted to be self-centered and grouchy.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Feeling stuck

We never purposely navigate into a bad situation.  We start new things with the expectation that they will bring opportunities or beneficial relationships – new job, new house, new love interest, new school.  But when the newness wears off, and the situation isn’t what you expected, what is your response?

Are you tempted to bail out?  But what if you can’t – you moved to a new state for this new job, or you signed a 30 year mortgage, or you want to follow through on your wedding vows, or you’ve already paid for your tuition.  Even if it’s hard to stay…oftentimes, it can become harder (in different ways) if you leave.  So, how do you feel? 

Stuck. 

Nobody likes the feeling of being trapped in a bad job, bad situation, or bad relationship.  How do you handle feeling “stuck”?

We’ve been looking at a psalm co-authored by Jeduthun and David.  As we progressed through the song, we see they are definitely stuck with opponents who are trying to take them down.  Let’s review what we’ve read so far:

Psalm 62:1-4
For the choir director: according to Jeduthun.  A psalm of David.

I am at rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will never be shaken.

How long will you threaten a man?
Will all of you attack as if he were a leaning wall or a tottering fence?
They only plan to bring him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in lying;
they bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly.
                                           Selah

And now for the next part of the psalm:

Psalm 62:5-6
Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will not be shaken.

This is the main point of the psalm, so it certainly bears repeating…especially after looking at how the world often treats those who choose to follow God.

The only difference between this chorus in verses 5-6 and what we read in verses 1-2 is the replacement of the word salvation (seeing God as our deliverance from earthly enemies) with the word hope (seeing God as the source of our confident expectation).  With both words – salvation and hope – David is looking to God for what only God can do.

As we read these words, we realize that David is articulating the deepness of his relationship with God.  David knows God well enough that he can depend on Him, even when faced with malicious liars who want to see him fail.  It is because of the deepness of this relationship with God that David can make the strong statements like my soul finds rest in God alone and he alone is my rock, my salvation, my stronghold and I will not be shaken.

Do we have that same level of confidence in God to take care of our situation…or when other people are causing us trouble? 

Is God the first one we turn to when we feel stuck?

The kind of relationship David writes about didn’t happen overnight.  David’s confidence in God didn’t miraculously appear in the middle of his difficult situation.  There’s only one reason David can fully rely on God in this situation – because prior to this difficulty, he has purposely invested time to know God.

And therein lies the questions for our own application:

If I’m facing trouble now, have I told God that I trust Him with it?
or
If I’m not facing trouble right now, am I taking steps to stay close to Him so I’m ready when the difficulties come?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pausing in the bitter moments

When we read the Bible, we have a tendency to read it too fast.  This happens a lot when reading the accounts of Jesus and His disciples or during any narrative portion of Scripture recounting historical actions and conversations.  Due to familiarity with the text and that we know where the story is going next, we run the risk of glossing over important details and poignant moments.  We forget that for the people we are reading about, this was once real life.  They weren’t privy to the next verse.  They were living their lives day-to-day, just like you and I do.

The moment I want to pause at is found in Matthew 26.  Early in the chapter, Jesus has His Last Supper with His disciples, and He revealed that one of them was going to betray Him.  As expected, everyone wanted to know who it was (especially making sure it wasn’t them!).  Later, when they are at the Mount of Olives, Jesus revealed even more of what was coming:

Matthew 26:31-35
Then Jesus said to them, “Tonight all of you will fall away because of me, for it is written:
I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.
But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.”

Peter told Him, “Even if everyone falls away because of you, I will never fall away.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to him, “tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
“Even if I have to die with you,” Peter told Him, “I will never deny you,” and all the disciples said the same thing.

Peter said this, but everyone else took the same vow.  Next, Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray.  You can read what He prayed in John 17, but the detail to note here is that Jesus separated from His disciples to pray…but took Peter, James, and John with Him.  He wanted to be with those He was closest to in His final hours.  Jesus asked that the three of them stay awake and pray while He wrestled with what God the Father would have Him do next.  But when He came back to them, they were asleep.  Waking them up, He specifically asked Peter – the one who promised undying support – “So, couldn’t you stay awake with me one hour?”  Jesus went back to pray and the scene played out two more times.  They couldn’t stay awake, despite Jesus’ need.  For a total of three times, Jesus’ inner circle failed Him this way.

Then Judas – the betrayer disciple – came to the garden with mob carrying swords and clubs.  When they took hold of Jesus, Peter drew his sword and hit a guy hard enough to whack off his ear.  But Jesus responded: “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up the sword will perish by the sword.  Or do you think that I cannot call on my Father, and He will provide me here and now with more than twelve legions of angels?  How then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”  At this point, all the disciples deserted Him and ran away.

Peter escaped the arresting mob, but then hung back and followed them at a distance as they took Jesus to the high priest.  Peter was able to get inside the courtyard, but could go no further.  In Jerusalem, he was a fish out of water.  Peter was a rough fisherman from up north, in Galilee; and the sophisticated Jews of the south considered Galileans to be crude, unrefined hicks.  Peter would have to wait outside and among strangers to find out any news.  This is where we pick up the story:

Matthew 26:69-75
Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard.  A servant girl approached him and said, “You were with Jesus the Galilean too.”
But he denied it in front of everyone: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
When he had gone out to the gateway, another woman saw him and told those who were there, “This man was with Jesus the Nazarene!”
And again he denied it with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
After a little while those standing there approached and said to Peter, “You really are one of them, since even your accent gives you away.”
Then he started to curse and to swear with an oath, “I don’t know the man!”  Immediately a rooster crowed, and Peter remembered the words Jesus had spoken, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”  And he went outside and wept bitterly.

He wept bitterly.  Pause right there.  Put yourself in Peter’s sandals for a moment.  He had followed Jesus for 3+ years.  Peter was part of Jesus’ inner circle and the de facto leader of the disciples.  Just a few hours ago, he made a vow on his life that he would never deny who Jesus was and what He meant to him.  But what’s happened since Peter made that adamant vow?  Jesus rebuked him on three separate occasions…and then Peter vehemently denied even knowing who Jesus was – three times, just as Jesus predicted!  The last denial was a complete opposite of the vow he made to Jesus.  Don’t sugar-coat this part.  Him “cursing and swearing an oath” would have come across as something like: May God strike me dead if I’m lying, I don’t $%#@ know the man!  As soon as he said these words, the rooster crowed…

Don’t move on in the text just yet.  Stop and feel Peter’s shame.  Remember what it’s like to completely fail someone you love.  Over the last several hours, every action Peter took and every word Peter spoke was wrong.  He failed, spectacularly.  And as far as Peter can see, there is no chance for apology or restoration.  Peter is stuck, alone, and utterly disgusted with himself.  Now…we understand his bitter tears.

We have moments in life like Peter’s.  We’ve blown it so big that we don’t know how life can go on.  But just because Peter didn’t know the next verse doesn’t mean he would forever live in that shame-filled moment.  As we continue to read the Scriptures, we find that Jesus did restore Peter (John 21:15-19). 

By pausing and identifying with this part of Peter’s story, we find that it is an example – God can restore us, just like He restored Peter.  Even when the bitter tears we cry are completely our fault. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken