Round 2: Pausing in the bitter moments

Pausing in the bitter moments
Originally posted on November 18, 2021

When we read the Bible, we have a tendency to read it too fast.  This happens a lot when reading the accounts of Jesus and His disciples or during any narrative portion of Scripture recounting historical actions and conversations.  Due to familiarity with the text and that we know where the story is going next, we run the risk of glossing over important details and poignant moments.  We forget that for the people we are reading about, this was once real life.  They weren’t privy to the next verse.  They were living their lives day-to-day, just like you and I do.

The moment I want to pause at is found in Matthew 26.  Early in the chapter, Jesus has His Last Supper with His disciples, and He revealed that one of them was going to betray Him.  As expected, everyone wanted to know who it was (especially making sure it wasn’t them!).  Later, when they are at the Mount of Olives, Jesus revealed even more of what was coming:

Matthew 26:31-35
Then Jesus said to them, “Tonight all of you will fall away because of me, for it is written:
I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.
But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.”

Peter told Him, “Even if everyone falls away because of you, I will never fall away.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to him, “tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
“Even if I have to die with you,” Peter told Him, “I will never deny you,” and all the disciples said the same thing.

Peter said this, but everyone else took the same vow.  Next, Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray.  You can read what He prayed in John 17, but the detail to note here is that Jesus separated from His disciples to pray…but took Peter, James, and John with Him.  He wanted to be with those He was closest to in His final hours.  Jesus asked that the three of them stay awake and pray while He wrestled with what God the Father would have Him do next.  But when He came back to them, they were asleep.  Waking them up, He specifically asked Peter – the one who promised undying support – “So, couldn’t you stay awake with me one hour?”  Jesus went back to pray and the scene played out two more times.  They couldn’t stay awake, despite Jesus’ need.  For a total of three times, Jesus’ inner circle failed Him this way.

Then Judas – the betrayer disciple – came to the garden with mob carrying swords and clubs.  When they took hold of Jesus, Peter drew his sword and hit a guy hard enough to whack off his ear.  But Jesus responded: “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up the sword will perish by the sword.  Or do you think that I cannot call on my Father, and He will provide me here and now with more than twelve legions of angels?  How then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”  At this point, all the disciples deserted Him and ran away.

Peter escaped the arresting mob, but then hung back and followed them at a distance as they took Jesus to the high priest.  Peter was able to get inside the courtyard, but could go no further.  In Jerusalem, he was a fish out of water.  Peter was a rough fisherman from up north, in Galilee; and the sophisticated Jews of the south considered Galileans to be crude, unrefined hicks.  Peter would have to wait outside and among strangers to find out any news.  This is where we pick up the story:

Matthew 26:69-75
Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard.  A servant girl approached him and said, “You were with Jesus the Galilean too.”
But he denied it in front of everyone: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
When he had gone out to the gateway, another woman saw him and told those who were there, “This man was with Jesus the Nazarene!”
And again he denied it with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
After a little while those standing there approached and said to Peter, “You really are one of them, since even your accent gives you away.”
Then he started to curse and to swear with an oath, “I don’t know the man!”  Immediately a rooster crowed, and Peter remembered the words Jesus had spoken, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”  And he went outside and wept bitterly.

He wept bitterly.  Pause right there.  Put yourself in Peter’s sandals for a moment.  He had followed Jesus for 3+ years.  Peter was part of Jesus’ inner circle and the de facto leader of the disciples.  Just a few hours ago, he made a vow on his life that he would never deny who Jesus was and what He meant to him.  But what’s happened since Peter made that adamant vow?  Jesus rebuked him on three separate occasions…and then Peter vehemently denied even knowing who Jesus was – three times, just as Jesus predicted!  The last denial was a complete opposite of the vow he made to Jesus.  Don’t sugar-coat this part.  Him “cursing and swearing an oath” would have come across as something like: May God strike me dead if I’m lying, I don’t $%#@ know the man!  As soon as he said these words, the rooster crowed…

Don’t move on in the text just yet.  Stop and feel Peter’s shame.  Remember what it’s like to completely fail someone you love.  Over the last several hours, every action Peter took and every word Peter spoke was wrong.  He failed, spectacularly.  And as far as Peter can see, there is no chance for apology or restoration.  Peter is stuck, alone, and utterly disgusted with himself.  Now…we understand his bitter tears.

We have moments in life like Peter’s.  We’ve blown it so big that we don’t know how life can go on.  But just because Peter didn’t know the next verse doesn’t mean he would forever live in that shame-filled moment.  As we continue to read the Scriptures, we find that Jesus did restore Peter (John 21:15-19). 

By pausing and identifying with this part of Peter’s story, we find that it is an example – God can restore us, just like He restored Peter.  Even when the bitter tears we cry are completely our fault. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pausing in the bitter moments

When we read the Bible, we have a tendency to read it too fast.  This happens a lot when reading the accounts of Jesus and His disciples or during any narrative portion of Scripture recounting historical actions and conversations.  Due to familiarity with the text and that we know where the story is going next, we run the risk of glossing over important details and poignant moments.  We forget that for the people we are reading about, this was once real life.  They weren’t privy to the next verse.  They were living their lives day-to-day, just like you and I do.

The moment I want to pause at is found in Matthew 26.  Early in the chapter, Jesus has His Last Supper with His disciples, and He revealed that one of them was going to betray Him.  As expected, everyone wanted to know who it was (especially making sure it wasn’t them!).  Later, when they are at the Mount of Olives, Jesus revealed even more of what was coming:

Matthew 26:31-35
Then Jesus said to them, “Tonight all of you will fall away because of me, for it is written:
I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.
But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.”

Peter told Him, “Even if everyone falls away because of you, I will never fall away.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to him, “tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
“Even if I have to die with you,” Peter told Him, “I will never deny you,” and all the disciples said the same thing.

Peter said this, but everyone else took the same vow.  Next, Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray.  You can read what He prayed in John 17, but the detail to note here is that Jesus separated from His disciples to pray…but took Peter, James, and John with Him.  He wanted to be with those He was closest to in His final hours.  Jesus asked that the three of them stay awake and pray while He wrestled with what God the Father would have Him do next.  But when He came back to them, they were asleep.  Waking them up, He specifically asked Peter – the one who promised undying support – “So, couldn’t you stay awake with me one hour?”  Jesus went back to pray and the scene played out two more times.  They couldn’t stay awake, despite Jesus’ need.  For a total of three times, Jesus’ inner circle failed Him this way.

Then Judas – the betrayer disciple – came to the garden with mob carrying swords and clubs.  When they took hold of Jesus, Peter drew his sword and hit a guy hard enough to whack off his ear.  But Jesus responded: “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up the sword will perish by the sword.  Or do you think that I cannot call on my Father, and He will provide me here and now with more than twelve legions of angels?  How then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”  At this point, all the disciples deserted Him and ran away.

Peter escaped the arresting mob, but then hung back and followed them at a distance as they took Jesus to the high priest.  Peter was able to get inside the courtyard, but could go no further.  In Jerusalem, he was a fish out of water.  Peter was a rough fisherman from up north, in Galilee; and the sophisticated Jews of the south considered Galileans to be crude, unrefined hicks.  Peter would have to wait outside and among strangers to find out any news.  This is where we pick up the story:

Matthew 26:69-75
Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard.  A servant girl approached him and said, “You were with Jesus the Galilean too.”
But he denied it in front of everyone: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
When he had gone out to the gateway, another woman saw him and told those who were there, “This man was with Jesus the Nazarene!”
And again he denied it with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
After a little while those standing there approached and said to Peter, “You really are one of them, since even your accent gives you away.”
Then he started to curse and to swear with an oath, “I don’t know the man!”  Immediately a rooster crowed, and Peter remembered the words Jesus had spoken, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”  And he went outside and wept bitterly.

He wept bitterly.  Pause right there.  Put yourself in Peter’s sandals for a moment.  He had followed Jesus for 3+ years.  Peter was part of Jesus’ inner circle and the de facto leader of the disciples.  Just a few hours ago, he made a vow on his life that he would never deny who Jesus was and what He meant to him.  But what’s happened since Peter made that adamant vow?  Jesus rebuked him on three separate occasions…and then Peter vehemently denied even knowing who Jesus was – three times, just as Jesus predicted!  The last denial was a complete opposite of the vow he made to Jesus.  Don’t sugar-coat this part.  Him “cursing and swearing an oath” would have come across as something like: May God strike me dead if I’m lying, I don’t $%#@ know the man!  As soon as he said these words, the rooster crowed…

Don’t move on in the text just yet.  Stop and feel Peter’s shame.  Remember what it’s like to completely fail someone you love.  Over the last several hours, every action Peter took and every word Peter spoke was wrong.  He failed, spectacularly.  And as far as Peter can see, there is no chance for apology or restoration.  Peter is stuck, alone, and utterly disgusted with himself.  Now…we understand his bitter tears.

We have moments in life like Peter’s.  We’ve blown it so big that we don’t know how life can go on.  But just because Peter didn’t know the next verse doesn’t mean he would forever live in that shame-filled moment.  As we continue to read the Scriptures, we find that Jesus did restore Peter (John 21:15-19). 

By pausing and identifying with this part of Peter’s story, we find that it is an example – God can restore us, just like He restored Peter.  Even when the bitter tears we cry are completely our fault. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Round 2: Struggling with not knowing God's purpose

My wife is healing very well, and she is doing better each day. However, when I reflect back over the last month and a half, it’s dizzying to think of how quickly the entire life-changing process came upon us.

When you get “that call”, it is very tempting to fall into the thought pattern of Why me? Why us? Why now?

When we can’t get answers to those questions, we quickly shift into Where is God in all this? He could have stopped this from happening. Why didn’t He? Does He actually care that we suffer?

We’re often afraid to ask these kinds of questions, lest we be thought of as a “weaker Christian”. But what do we do when God doesn’t answer our prayers?

Struggling with not knowing God's purpose
originally posted on July 19, 2018

Last time, we saw how Jesus’ disciples struggled to trust His plan, even after He explicitly told them what He was planning.  Now we’re going to look at the other side of the equation, the one we’re much more familiar with – struggling to cope when we do not know how God’s plan is going to unfold.

But first, a quick recap of the situation:

Mary, Martha, and Lazarus are siblings who live outside of Jerusalem in a town called Bethany.  They also are very close to Jesus.  The Scriptures say repeatedly that Jesus loved them.  One day, Lazarus becomes so sick that the sisters send someone to make the several-days long hike to find Jesus and bring Him back so He can heal Lazarus.  As soon as He gets the news, Jesus says “Lazarus’ sickness will not end in death, but is for the glory of God” (John 11:4).  So that means He immediately gets up and leaves for Bethany, right?  Nope.  Instead, He waits.

John 11:6-7
So when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.  Then after that, He said to the disciples, “Let’s go to Judea again.”

Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.  They didn’t get to hear Jesus’ response.  They just knew someone had gone to get Jesus.  Surely, He would come to Bethany as quickly as He could.  Probably only stopping to sleep, definitely moving as quick as possible during the daylight.  I can easily imagine the sisters trying to encourage their brother:

“Just hang on, Lazarus.  Jesus is coming.  When He gets here, he’ll make you better.  Just hold on.”

But what’s going through Lazarus’ mind?  He can feel his body giving out.  He’s likely in pain and suffering.  He wants to hold on, so Jesus can fix him…but he’s not sure how much longer he can keep on holding.  Does he worry about dying?  Does he worry about what happens to his sisters if Jesus doesn’t arrive in time?

And then…Jesus doesn’t arrive in time to perform a healing.  Lazarus dies.  His family and friends go through the Jewish burial ceremonies, prepare the body to be buried, and then put him in a cave of a tomb – sealing the entry with a large rock.

Their emotions had to have been all over the place.  They watched, helplessly, as their brother died.  Did the messenger not reach Jesus in time?  Was He delayed?  Why did this happen?  Why were their prayers unanswered?  They grieved and processed these questions for several days…and then Jesus shows up.

As if their world wasn’t topsy-turvy already, now a new round of emotions flooded over them.  Frustrated, surprised, angry, bewildered…how would you have felt?  While the sisters separately approached Jesus, they both had the same mindset:

John 11:20-21, 32
As soon as Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet Him, but Mary remained seated in the house.  Then Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.”…As soon as Mary came to where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell at His feet and told Him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died!”

I believe they were 100% right.  Based upon other comments Jesus makes in this chapter, I am certain that had He been there, Jesus would have healed Lazarus.  Even though it wasn’t what Mary and Martha wanted…He waited, and it wasn’t because He didn’t care:

John 11:33-35
When Jesus saw her crying, and the Jews who had come with her crying, He was deeply moved in His spirit and troubled.

“Where have you put him?” He asked.
“Lord,” they told Him, “come and see.”

Jesus wept.

This moment answers the questions we often struggle with: “Where is God when bad things happen?  Where is Jesus when everything is wrong?  Where is God when it hurts?”

His timing may not be what we would choose, but we’re not abandoned.  He’s not cold and distant.  Jesus is deeply moved and troubled as He sees us struggle.  Jesus weeps right along side of us. 

Jesus cares deeply about what we’re going through.  Jesus weeps at how we are affected by the consequences of sin.  He knows that without Him, both physical and spiritual death is inevitable for all of us.

And although we struggle to see it, He knows exactly what He’s doing.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Struggling with not knowing God's purpose

Last time, we saw how Jesus’ disciples struggled to trust His plan, even after He explicitly told them what He was planning.  Now we’re going to look at the other side of the equation, the one we’re much more familiar with – struggling to cope when we do not know how God’s plan is going to unfold.

But first, a quick recap of the situation:

Mary, Martha, and Lazarus are siblings who live outside of Jerusalem in a town called Bethany.  They also are very close to Jesus.  The Scriptures say repeatedly that Jesus loved them.  One day, Lazarus becomes so sick that the sisters send someone to make the several-days long hike to find Jesus and bring Him back so He can heal Lazarus.  As soon as He gets the news, Jesus says “Lazarus’ sickness will not end in death, but is for the glory of God” (John 11:4).  So that means He immediately gets up and leaves for Bethany, right?  Nope.  Instead, He waits.

John 11:6-7
So when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.  Then after that, He said to the disciples, “Let’s go to Judea again.”

Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.  They didn’t get to hear Jesus’ response.  They just knew someone had gone to get Jesus.  Surely, He would come to Bethany as quickly as He could.  Probably only stopping to sleep, definitely moving as quick as possible during the daylight.  I can easily imagine the sisters trying to encourage their brother:

“Just hang on, Lazarus.  Jesus is coming.  When He gets here, he’ll make you better.  Just hold on.”

But what’s going through Lazarus’ mind?  He can feel his body giving out.  He’s likely in pain and suffering.  He wants to hold on, so Jesus can fix him…but he’s not sure how much longer he can keep on holding.  Does he worry about dying?  Does he worry about what happens to his sisters if Jesus doesn’t arrive in time?

And then…Jesus doesn’t arrive in time to perform a healing.  Lazarus dies.  His family and friends go through the Jewish burial ceremonies, prepare the body to be buried, and then put him in a cave of a tomb – sealing the entry with a large rock.

Their emotions had to have been all over the place.  They watched, helplessly, as their brother died.  Did the messenger not reach Jesus in time?  Was He delayed?  Why did this happen?  Why were their prayers unanswered?  They grieved and processed these questions for several days…and then Jesus shows up.

As if their world wasn’t topsy-turvy already, now a new round of emotions flooded over them.  Frustrated, surprised, angry, bewildered…how would you have felt?  While the sisters separately approached Jesus, they both had the same mindset:

John 11:20-21, 32
As soon as Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet Him, but Mary remained seated in the house.  Then Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.”…As soon as Mary came to where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell at His feet and told Him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died!”

I believe they were 100% right.  Based upon other comments Jesus makes in this chapter, I am certain that had He been there, Jesus would have healed Lazarus.  Even though it wasn’t what Mary and Martha wanted…He waited, and it wasn’t because He didn’t care:

John 11:33-35
When Jesus saw her crying, and the Jews who had come with her crying, He was deeply moved in His spirit and troubled.

“Where have you put him?” He asked.
“Lord,” they told Him, “come and see.”

Jesus wept.

This moment answers the questions we often struggle with: “Where is God when bad things happen?  Where is Jesus when everything is wrong?  Where is God when it hurts?”

His timing may not be what we would choose, but we’re not abandoned.  He’s not cold and distant.  Jesus is deeply moved and troubled as He sees us struggle.  Jesus weeps right along side of us. 

Jesus cares deeply about what we’re going through.  Jesus weeps at how we are affected by the consequences of sin.  He knows that without Him, both physical and spiritual death is inevitable for all of us.

And although we struggle to see it, He knows exactly what He’s doing.

Keep Pressing,
Ken