When feeling threatened

When was the last time you felt threatened?

That’s a provocative question, for sure.  But how quickly does a situation like one of these come to mind?

Did you feel threatened during a not-so-friendly competition at work?
Did you feel threatened when someone you thought of as a friend started attacking you?
Did you feel threatened when a relationship with your spouse, your child, or your parent went sideways?

What was your reaction to this feeling of being threatened, and what was your response to those circumstances?

However you handled it (for better or worse), know that you’re not alone in the experience.  Feeling threatened and figuring out how to deal with it is something we all must face.  It’s not new to the human condition, either.  Power struggles, at a personal level, have occurred throughout history.  So, it’s no surprise to find characters in the Bible dealing with threats to their safety, well-being, status, or position. 

After beginning Psalm 62 by recognizing God as the source of salvation, i.e. – rescue from life’s current circumstances – David and Jeduthun take a look at the world around them…and it doesn’t look like a safe place.  They have several questions as they confront those who are threatening them:

Psalm 62:3-4
How long will you threaten a man?
Will all of you attack as if he were a leaning wall or a tottering fence?
They only plan to bring him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in lying;
they bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly.
                                           Selah

David and Jeduthun now introduce the main conflict, their earthly struggle with those who choose to do evil against them.  The assault is a constant barrage…those in support of evil are attacking the man of God, and their only plan is to bring him down, as if he were a leaning wall that only needed an extra push before falling over.

At the moment, their enemies aren’t physically attacking them.  Instead, notice what their main weapon of attack is –  their mouths.  Deceitful words pour out from the cursing within their own hearts.  The enemies’ lies are premeditated and aim to take David and Jeduthun down a notch.

If you’ve ever had someone bad-mouth you behind your back, I’m sure you can recognize David’s frustration here.  When dealing with two-faced people, it can be tough to figure out what their motive is and why they are spreading lies.  David’s question of How long will you threaten…? is dripping with aggravation.  How long will he have to put up with this?  How long will they try to get away with their slander?  How long until God steps in?

But then verse 4 ends with an obscure Hebrew term – Selah.  Although scholars aren’t 100% sure what this term means…many have suggested that it is a musical term to indicate a pause in the song, giving the ones singing a chance to stop and think about the song-writers’ point. 

And that’s a good idea…up until this point in the psalm, David has recognized that God is the source of his earthly rescue from trouble and that his enemies are continuously spreading lies about him.  Since we experience the same situations, here are some things to stop and think about:

Have you experienced malicious liars? 
Take a moment and think about how you have dealt with them in the past.
Take a moment and think about how God can rescue you the next time someone lies about you.
Take a moment and ask God to help you best respond when that situation happens.

Keep Pressing
Ken

Proverbial life: watch your mouth

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that trips us all up: what we say and how we say it.

Our words matter, and once they are said, there are no take-backs.  We have several familiar phrases in the English language to communicate this truth:

You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
You’ve let the cat out of the bag.
You can’t unring that bell.

When Solomon was instructing his son about living wisely – how to skillfully apply knowledge to his earthly life – he frequently brought up the words his son would choose.

The first proverb we’ll look at might feel a little obvious…but sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious:

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip goes around revealing a secret,
but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.

Being labeled as a gossip or as a trustworthy person is a matter of verbal reputation.  You can be known as either one, but not both.  If you share another person’s secrets or words spoken in confidence, you are betraying the trust that was placed in you.  As long as keeping the secret does not bring harm to others, the best use of our words when another person shares confidential information is to not use them at all…in essence, being trustworthy is often a matter of us keeping our teeth together and saying nothing.

Next, we find Solomon addressing a common situation in life: what to do with an angry person.  Whether the anger is caused by Solomon’s son or if he happens to get caught in the cross-fire of another person’s issues, he’s going to have to navigate situations were other people are seeing red and are looking for a fight.  Curiously, Solomon does not tell him to fight fire with fire:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger,
but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

Anger is a secondary emotion.  While anger may be at the surface-level and more prominent, there is always a primary emotion found underneath, driving that angry response.  Perhaps they feel taken advantage of, or foolish, or embarrassed…whatever the root cause is, the angry outburst is almost never subdued by fighting fire with fire.  Matching anger’s intensity or deriding it with a harsh word only escalates the situation.  In these situations, Solomon wants his son to use his words to diffuse the tension – and a gentle answer is the key to doing so.

Admittedly, giving a gentle answer in the heat of the moment is hard.  Not saying anything and keeping another’s confidence is also difficult.  Thankfully, Solomon clues us in to how we can make sure our mouths are doing the right thing:

Proverbs 16:23
The heart of the wise person instructs his mouth;
it adds learning to his speech.

You’ve certainly heard descriptions of other people like, “Her mouth has a mind of its own.” or “He has a loose tongue.”  These phrases attempt to excuse a person for running their mouths or speaking before thinking…instead, Solomon says that our mouth can be instructed and trained by what we have in our heart.  So, time to do a heart check – What are you feeding your heart?  What are you learning so that you can grow and have mature speech?

The benefits of being wise with your words isn’t limited to just you.  Being able to manage your mouth is more than having a good reputation and being able to handle an angry outburst.  Solomon also tells his son that his mature words will be helpful to others:

Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb:
sweet to the taste and health to the body.

When someone speaks kind words, encouraging words, supportive words, or empathetic words to you…those are special.  They are sweetly remembered, like a mental candy, that we can retaste anytime we recall them.  Our words can make someone else strong, brave, open, and confident…healthy at many levels of the body – mental, emotional, and yes, even physical.

Words are powerful.  What comes out of our mouths can make or break someone.  How will you choose to use your words today?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Skeleton key: Above all else, do this

Imagine this scene with me:

After recognizing and solving the cypher contained within the structure of the first two letters, you have traveled to an old church located in Jerusalem.  The crowds are light this time of year, so you have plenty of room to casually wander through the church’s public spaces as you look for clues about the Book of Life.

After a while, a young priest comes up to you, asking if you have any questions or need any help.  You strike up a conversation with him, gently probing for details about the church history and the various historical artifacts that have been associated with the building.  He happily shares what he knows – while some parts of his telling sounds like a fact sheet that he must have been required to memorize, you can also tell that he knows some of the more intimate details about the church’s history.  Before telling those parts of the stories, he would first quickly look around and then begin to speak in a hushed tone. 

As he was feeding off your interest in his stories, you ask if he’s ever heard of a manuscript called the Book of Life.  He doesn’t recall that name specifically.  Your conversation continues and then begins to wrap up with no new information coming your way.  Based on the cypher, you’re certain that you are in the right place, so you decide to take a risk and show him the two letters from “A. Danling”.

His eyes open wide as he reads the letters and you describe the hidden cypher that led you to his church.  “Do you have any other information, any other clues?” he excitedly asks.

“Just what I have been told is the ‘skeleton key’ and one more letter,” you reply.  By now you can quote the skeleton key by memory: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and discipline.  You open up the last letter and read it with him:

My son,
Pay attention to my words; listen closely to my sayings.
Don’t lose sight of them; keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them, and health to one’s whole body.

Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.
Don’t let your mouth speak dishonestly, and don’t let your lips talk deviously.
Let your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead.

Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established.
Don’t turn to the right or to the left; keep your feet away from evil.

As with the others, this letter is signed by “A. Danling”, but it is much shorter than the other two, and was written with a different layout structure.

“Well, it’s obvious that Danling’s focus is the heart, since he says ‘above all else’ and mentions the heart twice” the young priest observes.  “Let’s look around and see if we can find something here that matches the letter.”

----------------------------

The young priest is correct – the words above all else should catch our attention.  Solomon wouldn’t flippantly write a phrase like that.  For the wisest man the world has ever known (outside of Jesus, of course), this piece of guidance is the top priority, the best advice he could give.

The ancient Israelites considered the heart to be representative of one’s “inner person”, including your mind, your will, and your conscience…it was viewed as the seat of your appetites as well as the seat of emotions, passions, and courage.

Above all else…Solomon says to guard your heart.  If your heart represents who you truly are, then by all means it needs to be protected!  No wonder Solomon says that it is the source of life.  If your heart is corrupted, then, by extension, your identity is also corrupted.  But how does Solomon say that we should stand guard, what can we do to protect it?

This is where looking at the context is helpful.  Listed above is Proverbs 4:20-27, and look how Solomon begins this section:

My son,
Pay attention to my words; listen closely to my sayings.
Don’t lose sight of them; keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them, and health to one’s whole body.

The way to guard our heart is to be careful with what words we keep in there.  According to Solomon, the words and sayings you keep in your heart are highly influential and can set the course of your life. 

Whose words do you allow to live in your heart? 
Do you dwell on the callous things that “he” said to you? 
Do you mull over the time “she” insulted you?
Or do you pay attention to words from those who build you up?

Solomon is reminding his son that his words are beneficial, that his sayings are trustworthy.  Let’s look at those verses again:

My son,
Pay attention to my words; listen closely to my sayings.
Don’t lose sight of [my words]; keep [my sayings] within your heart.
For [my words] are life to those who find them, and [my sayings are] health to one’s whole body.

The right words at the right time are powerful and can change the course of a life.  Encouragement and empathy are two of the greatest gifts we can give each other.  Wise and supportive words lift moods, brighten spirits, and brings strength to the listener. 

With a heart full of wisdom and encouragement, then you can skillfully navigate the course of your life.  Then you’ll be prepared to carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established.

Because of the influence of words in our life…our heart needs protection, it is worth being guarded.

So, I ask again – Whose words do you allow to live in your heart?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Solomon's biggest warning

After telling his son that the most important thing for him to do is to guard his heart, Solomon gives his son the longest warning on any one topic in the book of Proverbs.  For almost three entire chapters, Solomon warns his son about the dangers of breaking the seventh commandment God gave to Moses.

Proverbs 5:1-8
My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen closely to my understanding
so that you may maintain discretion and your lips safeguard knowledge.

Though the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey and her words are smoother than oil,
in the end she’s as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a double-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death; her steps head straight for Sheol.
She doesn’t consider the path of life; she doesn’t know that her ways are unstable.

So now, my sons, listen to me, and don’t turn away from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her.  Don’t go near the door of her house.

The words from the lips of the forbidden woman are seductively enticing – and deadly dangerous.  The young man has a choice – whose words will he listen to?  The smooth words of forbidden woman or the wisdom of Solomon?

Solomon gives the best defense against the siren’s song – don’t go near the door of her house.

If she is purposely avoided, then her smooth words cannot ensnare him.  However, if he foolishly gives in to this temptation, Solomon warns that it will cost him severely:

Proverbs 5:9-14
Otherwise, you will give up your vitality to others and your years to someone cruel;
strangers will drain your resources, and your earnings will end up in a foreigner’s house.
At the end of your life, you will lament when your physical body has been consumed,
and you will say,

“How I hated discipline, and how my heart despised correction.
I didn’t obey my teachers or listen closely to my mentors.
I was on the verge of complete ruin before he entire community.”

If he gives in to her temptations, the young man will not be able to undo the path his life will go down.  Any profit will go to another, and he will only be left with regret.  The destruction to himself, his family, and his community cannot be undone.

We see this play out today as well.  Sexual sin is one of the greatest destructive forces in today’s society.  “Sex sells” is what we’re told, and the numbers don’t lie – advertisers prey upon our inability to control our sexual appetite.  The world’s system is set up to ensnare both men and women.

If we consider its ultimate cost, what that moment of pleasure will take from us in this life and in the next, we can see why Solomon spends the next two chapters continuing his warning.

Proverbs 5:20-23
Why, my son, would you be infatuated with a forbidden woman
or embrace the breast of a stranger?
For a man’s ways are before the Lord’s eyes,
and He considers all his paths.

A wicked man’s iniquities entrap him;
he is entangled in the ropes of his own sin.
He will die because there is no instruction,
and be lost because of his great stupidity.

Sexual sin is a great stupidity.  It cannot be simply managed or contained.  The only safe way to deal with it is to take Solomon’s advice and don’t go near the temptation.  Avoid it, because you don’t want to pay everything it will ultimately cost you.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Undercutting relationships

After warning the Colossian believers to pay attention to the negative, selfish words that can come out of their mouths, he gives one last warning about a type of speech that has the potential to destroy a relationship.

Colossians 3:9-10
Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his practices and have put on the new man, who is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of his Creator.

When my boys were young, there were only two misbehaviors that would warrant getting spanked.  The first was willful disobedience – we give a direction, they would blatantly defy.  The second type of behavior that would result in spanking was considered much worse than the first – lying.

We typically lie to someone else in an attempt to make ourselves look better or to maintain someone else’s impression of us…that we’re really rather nice, or have disposable income, or not rude, or not selfish.  Sometimes we tell ourselves that we lie only to protect others or ourselves; but in reality, lies only protect the façade we’re trying to project.  When the truth comes out – and it eventually does – we find that the lie we used for “protection” has now severely undercut the relationship.

This is why we made such a big deal about lying with our children.  When a parent lies to a child, or a child to his parent, their relationship is taken out at the knees.  While trust in a specific instance was violated by the lying, we justifiably begin to wonder “When else has that person lied to me?”. 

The same thing happens in God’s family when we lie to each other.  Seeds of mistrust will eventually lead to a harvest of dysfunction.

Paul says that our habit of lying can be set aside, like all of our sinful tendencies, as we continue to identify with who we are now in Jesus instead of being like who we were before we met Jesus.  We put on the new man when we first trusted Jesus as our Savior.  Our identity is forever wrapped up in His, however, that is just the start of our relationship.

Paul says that our identity is being renewed, or growing up, in knowledge according to the image of [our] Creator.  The better we know our Savior and Creator, the faster we grow up in our new identity. 

When we recognize who we are and how well we’re loved in Christ…we won’t need to promote a façade, we’ll see that there’s no reason to lie about ourselves. 

So our lying habit won’t be fixed by washing our mouths out with soap, putting a dollar in a jar whenever we get caught, or by promising to do better next time.  The fix for our brokenness is found in spending time with Jesus.  Are we taking the time to develop in the knowledge of our Creator?

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

Harsh words

The quickest way to change a situation is to open our mouths and have something selfish and negative come out.  With just a few harsh words, the tone of a conversation can be altered and the general mood of the room is radically different.  Depending on what we say and how we say it, relationships can be damaged for a significant amount of time. 

Recognizing this, it’s easy to see how careless words can tear apart family members.

After warning the Colossian believers to put to death any idolatry and greed that comes out of their hearts, Paul encourages them to take their conduct up to the next level by closely watching what comes out of their mouths.

Colossians 3:8
But now you must also put away all the following: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language from your mouth.

Paul says that these types of words must be put away.  The Greek word for put away means to “put off or aside”.  This action is intentional, and there’s no wiggle room here, it must be done.

Not to be self-congratulating, but I would like to use an example from my own life – I have decided there are some things that my boys will never hear from me.

I can clearly remember stories, jokes, and advice given to me over the years…but I will not repeat them.  Some memories go way back into my youth.  The stories and jokes were meant to be funny, and honestly, I laughed quite a bit at them.  My immaturity was in full bloom as I listened intently to my friends’ stories, trying to add in some off-color or inappropriate joke of my own.  My quick wit was good for that, or so I thought.

I also have distinct memories of “advice” given to me by people who were lashing out in anger and frustration, either at someone else or at the world in general.  I can still hear their voices say those words as they angrily warned me to avoid certain individuals or people groups.

However, I will not place the burden of these words on my children, or anyone else around me.  The memory of these words will die with me.

Now that the memories have been put away, the real challenge is to follow Paul’s direction and keep anything new from springing out of my mouth.  Now you must put away he says.  Paul’s direction needs to be applied moment by moment – even when things go sideways at work, or I’m caught off-guard, or my plans for the evening get wrecked, or I am hurt (yet again) by someone close to me.

Paul isn’t saying it’s wrong to be upset, frustrated, or even angry; we just need to be watchful for how our mouths express those emotions.  Guarding what comes out of our mouths is vital for maintaining healthy relationships within the family of God and with those outside of the family. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Tracking thankfulness

We keep tabs on a lot of things these days.

We get tracking numbers for every item we order online.  We scour stats of our favorite sports teams, even looking at how they perform in a game under specific circumstances.  We have programs to track our kids’ use of technology in the home.  We even track our steps and activities toward fitness goals.  All while we continue to keep an eye on a host of other things.

What are we looking for with all this tracking?

Typically, we are monitoring for progress or patterns.  We want to know how close our package is to its destination and how many more steps we need to take before we hit our goal for the day.  We watch for patterns in the websites our children use, and we look for deviations from their normal routines.

But what if…what if we tracked our speech, and counted up all the words we use on a daily basis.  What trends would stick out?  Is our speech different at home than it is at work, or school, or church?  Which words do we use the most, and does it change based upon our location?

When we track through Paul’s entire letter to the church in Colossae, certain words stick out.  This is an especially important observation to make, considering the letter is rather short, consisting of only four chapters.

Colossians 1:3
We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you

It’s only the third verse in and we have the first time we come across the word “thanks”.  However, it is the first of six times in the letter.  While that might not seem like much emphasis, it comes to about one mentioning every 14 sentences. 

So what is Paul saying about giving “thanks”?

1:3 – We always thank God…when we pray for you
1:11,12 – May you be…giving thanks to the Father
2:6,7 – walk in Him…overflowing with thankfulness
3:15 – Be thankful. Let the message of the Messiah dwell richly among you…
3:17 – Do everything…giving thanks to God the Father
4:2 – Stay alert in prayer with thanksgiving

As a bonus, Paul also says in 3:16 – sing…with gratitude in your hearts to God. 

Notice how every time Paul brings up giving thanks or having gratitude, it is directed toward God?  Whenever we stop and honestly thank someone, we are shifting the focus off of ourselves.  We recognize others for what they have done for us.  We recognize them for who they are and what we have become because of their influence.

Being thankful is focus-shifting experience.  Being thankful towards God puts him in the proper place in our lives.  We’ll explore each of these thanks-giving sections as we work our way through the letter to the believers in Colossae, but we should probably stop and ask ourselves:

Imagine if one out of every 14 sentences that came out of our mouths, we were thankful to God.  How would our speech change?  How would our mindset change?

Keep Pressing,
Ken