Proverbial life: watch your mouth

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that trips us all up: what we say and how we say it.

Our words matter, and once they are said, there are no take-backs.  We have several familiar phrases in the English language to communicate this truth:

You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
You’ve let the cat out of the bag.
You can’t unring that bell.

When Solomon was instructing his son about living wisely – how to skillfully apply knowledge to his earthly life – he frequently brought up the words his son would choose.

The first proverb we’ll look at might feel a little obvious…but sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious:

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip goes around revealing a secret,
but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.

Being labeled as a gossip or as a trustworthy person is a matter of verbal reputation.  You can be known as either one, but not both.  If you share another person’s secrets or words spoken in confidence, you are betraying the trust that was placed in you.  As long as keeping the secret does not bring harm to others, the best use of our words when another person shares confidential information is to not use them at all…in essence, being trustworthy is often a matter of us keeping our teeth together and saying nothing.

Next, we find Solomon addressing a common situation in life: what to do with an angry person.  Whether the anger is caused by Solomon’s son or if he happens to get caught in the cross-fire of another person’s issues, he’s going to have to navigate situations were other people are seeing red and are looking for a fight.  Curiously, Solomon does not tell him to fight fire with fire:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger,
but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

Anger is a secondary emotion.  While anger may be at the surface-level and more prominent, there is always a primary emotion found underneath, driving that angry response.  Perhaps they feel taken advantage of, or foolish, or embarrassed…whatever the root cause is, the angry outburst is almost never subdued by fighting fire with fire.  Matching anger’s intensity or deriding it with a harsh word only escalates the situation.  In these situations, Solomon wants his son to use his words to diffuse the tension – and a gentle answer is the key to doing so.

Admittedly, giving a gentle answer in the heat of the moment is hard.  Not saying anything and keeping another’s confidence is also difficult.  Thankfully, Solomon clues us in to how we can make sure our mouths are doing the right thing:

Proverbs 16:23
The heart of the wise person instructs his mouth;
it adds learning to his speech.

You’ve certainly heard descriptions of other people like, “Her mouth has a mind of its own.” or “He has a loose tongue.”  These phrases attempt to excuse a person for running their mouths or speaking before thinking…instead, Solomon says that our mouth can be instructed and trained by what we have in our heart.  So, time to do a heart check – What are you feeding your heart?  What are you learning so that you can grow and have mature speech?

The benefits of being wise with your words isn’t limited to just you.  Being able to manage your mouth is more than having a good reputation and being able to handle an angry outburst.  Solomon also tells his son that his mature words will be helpful to others:

Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb:
sweet to the taste and health to the body.

When someone speaks kind words, encouraging words, supportive words, or empathetic words to you…those are special.  They are sweetly remembered, like a mental candy, that we can retaste anytime we recall them.  Our words can make someone else strong, brave, open, and confident…healthy at many levels of the body – mental, emotional, and yes, even physical.

Words are powerful.  What comes out of our mouths can make or break someone.  How will you choose to use your words today?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

How to avoid mistakes

I am my own worst critic. 

I hate my mistakes.  I hate my mess ups.  I especially despise making them in front of other people. 

Even when I was a kid, I hated to practice my saxophone or acting script with others in the house…because I didn’t want anyone hearing the number of times I’d mess it up before finally figuring out the melody or how I wanted to say a memorized line. 

As a teen, I figured out how to stay in my lane with things that worked for me.  Doing so only allowed people to see my successes.  Combine that with avoiding the things you’re bad at, and suddenly everyone assumes that you’re good at everything.

As I became an adult, I didn’t get any better.  But when you become a husband and a father…there’s no hiding your mistakes anymore.  Because of the proximity of day-to-day living, my flaws were glaringly obvious to my wife and – despite my best efforts – they were also mirrored back to me by my young sons.

There were many options available for how I was going to deal with my inability to maintain a “perfect-looking” façade – I could use denial, I could use anger to deflect attention from my mistakes, I could double-down and work harder at not messing up, or I could avoid discussing them altogether.  None of these options are mutually exclusive either…I could mix and match to whatever situation I found myself in.

Fortunately, a better help came along.

His name was Joe.

Joe took me, a 25 year old husband/father/know-it-all, and mentored me.  He taught me how to study the Bible, how to read the meaning out of the text instead of putting my own thinking into the text.  He taught me how to teach.  He loved me.  He invested in me.  Through his efforts, “Old Joe” (as he often called himself) put his arm around my shoulders, telling me “This is how we do this.  This is how a Christian man lives for God, with eternity in mind.” 

He was very good at referencing the book of Proverbs, which focuses on wisdom, being skilled at living before God.  I’ll give you some examples of how he quoted them and also lived them out:

First example:

I’d see him at least every Sunday at church, and we’d be in touch frequently during the week.  We’d talk about work, family upbringing, frustrations, raising kids, loving a wife who struggles with bi-polar disorder, everything…including making mistakes.

Joe always told me: “I’ve already made all the mistakes.  If you listen to me, you won’t have to make them, too.”  He was right…listening to him helped me either avoid messing up on something I wasn’t prepared for, or his advice was able to help me deal with my faults and move forward in a healthy, Godly manner.

Proverbs 19:20
Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life.

Second example:

Most of the time I was happy to see him, but there were occasions where I dreaded speaking with him – because I knew I was struggling and I knew he was going to call me out.  I have to admit that his corrections were always kindly delivered, but I just didn’t always want to talk about my struggles.  I even avoided him a few Sundays…and when I eventually came back around, he was still there for me.

Proverbs 27:6
Wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Third example:

He mentored me from my mid-twenties to my mid-thirties, but “Old Joe” was at the other end of the spectrum.  He didn’t have to share the lessons he’d learned over the years, but he wanted to invest in the next generation of disciples.  He had lived for God for many decades.  As such, he was skilled in wisdom and right-living…but it wasn’t something that he kept to himself.

Proverbs 16:31
Gray hair is a glorious crown; it is found in the ways of righteousness.

It’s been many years since I last saw him.  Due to health reasons, he and his wife had to move closer to family.  “Old Joe” went to heaven at the end of 2017, but his impact still echoes on this side of eternity.  You can read more about his influence on my life here.

I don’t have a full head of grey hair yet, but there’s more with each passing year.  I’m thankful for the years that God has allowed me to serve Him, and that He continues to teach me the ways of righteousness and right-living. 

A few weeks back, I even used Joe’s quote.  During a group discussion after church, I pointed to a friend of mine who is close to my age, turned to a young couple, and said: We’ve already made all the mistakes.  If you listen to us, you won’t have to make them, too. 

I hope they applied what we talked about.  I hope they’re able to avoid or manage mistakes better because of our example, and the example that was set for me by Joe.

I urge you to do the same.  If you’re wearing a crown of grey hair, then please invest in the young ones.  And if you’re a young one, find an older believer to help you walk with wisdom…and learn early how to avoid mistakes.

Keep Pressing
Ken

Face paint and finding the good

I find it so easy to find something to be upset about.  Especially by the end of each day, when the hard stuff is still heavy in my mind.  It would be easy to blame my sour attitude on the constant barrage of negativity coming from our politicians, or social media, or the 24-hour bad-news cycle.  While yesterday it could have been the advertisements that made me feel like I don’t provide well enough for my family, today’s irritation could have easily come from a coworker, and tomorrow’s could be another driver on my way to the grocery store.

Getting upset is easy.  Thinking about why I get upset is hard, for two reasons…first, because I have to be honest with myself, and second (because of the first) I usually realize that whatever it is that made me upset was often just a small part of my day.  Let me give you an example:

Many of you know that my wife runs her own business.  She’s a ridiculously talented face painter, and you’ll find her at festivals, fairs, and birthday parties.  She handles most events on her own, but for the occasional large festival, I will work as her line manager.  My job is to engage the customers, help them choose a design, handle the money, and make sure the line moves in an orderly fashion.  All my work is to make sure my wife can focus on being the artist and not worry about anything other than creating fun and delight for both kids and adults.

As you can imagine, we meet a wide-variety of people during these events.  Some are more friendly than others.  Some are so excited they can hardly contain themselves.  Some are just hot and tired.  Some parents are more excited about having their child painted than their child is about getting painted.  There’s always some parent who doesn’t like the prices and wants to “negotiate”.  All different backgrounds, races, economic status…so you never know how an interaction is going to go. 

Most interactions are positive.  Kids love getting their face painted and parents feed off of the kids’ excitement.  When I was helping my wife a couple weekends ago, we had a great time, a steady line, and many happy customers.  However, at the end of the event, two interactions continued to spin in my mind.  The first was a dad who wanted to negotiate on a take home item that we sell, but when I wouldn’t lower the price to the level he wanted, he resorted to insults and left.  The second person came up after we had closed down.  When I informed him that we had finished for the night…he left in a huff, griping that all he was trying to do was read one of our menu boards. 

I stewed over these two guys for quite a while, even into the next day.  Their selfish attitudes really bothered me, since they acted as if we were trying to take advantage of them.  The longer I churned over their lousy behavior, the more my attitude darkened and my thoughts were of nothing else.  I did nothing wrong, but was insulted.  I was certain that they would complain about their interaction with us.  I became more and more irritated thinking about how their grousing to others would look bad on my wife’s business.

And then, I remembered…that we had served over 150 people at that festival.  Everyone but those two were ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED with how their session turned out.  We even had a little girl who loved her art so much that she brought her dad back to get painted and then later still, she brought her friend to get painted, too.  We had others stop back by just to say “hi” and show us how well the paint was lasting on such a hot day.  We had a quartet of elderly ladies each get a glitter tattoo – they were an absolute hoot to interact with!  To top it all off, the fair was also her most successful event in terms of gross profits. 

When I realized how wrong it was that I was focusing entirely on those two bad interactions, this verse immediately came to mind:

Philippians 4:8
Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy – dwell on these things.

The Apostle Paul wanted the believers in Philippi to be careful with what their thoughts were dwelling on.  The truth is…whatever we spend time thinking about will inevitably grow in our life.  If I continued to stew over the behavior of these two dads, then I would have allowed those irritations and frustrations to grow into something much more unhealthy – likely something that would impact those around me (but not the guys who aggravated me). 

When I stepped back and focused on all the good things that came from our efforts, the irritation quickly evaporated.  It was a good event.  There were many lovely and praiseworthy moments.  I’ll choose to dwell on those instead.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Round 2: When disease hits too close to home

Sometimes, God has us learn lessons a second time. Often it’s because of our own hard-headedness or stupidity, but other times we need to learn a new application of the truths God is purposely inserting into our lives. They can be hard lessons to re-learn when we thought we got what we needed when He taught us before. But apparently…it’s time for my family to revisit how God walks with us when we get “that call”. As you’ll see below, I struggled mightily when my brother was diagnosed with MS. However, this time it’s closer…and harder…because it’s my wife.

On November 12th, just two weeks ago, my wife had a polyp removed from her uterus. On Monday, November 23rd, we got the call that it is cancer. By Wednesday, we met with the oncologist and his recommendation is a complete hysterectomy. We won’t know the stage - how far the cancer has progressed - until she is in surgery. By God’s grace, there was an opening in the surgeon’s schedule for December 1st. The doctor said that 85-90% of endometrial cancer patients do not need radiation or chemo, which is great news…but we’ll take this one step at a time.

The day after we got the call, my thoughts drifted back to this previous series of posts. I went back and read them all, finding some comfort in being reminded of the lessons that God already taught me. So my plan - at this point - is to have you walk back through these lessons with me. I’ll provide updates on Amy as I can in each weekly post.

There are many people in many places praying for my wife, for me, and for our two adult sons. We would be grateful if you choose to join the others in petitioning our Great God on our behalf…but if you do…while we love the idea of praying for comfort and minimal pain, there are other things to pray about that God may consider to be of greater importance at this time: that we grow in dependence on Him, that we grow closer together, that we learn to accept offers of assistance, that we navigate our experience with cancer in a way that points non-Christians to the God who walks along side us, that we trust the very God who could have prevented this cancer from happening is going to use this season for an ultimately bigger and more eternal impact…and these “greater importance items” on God’s agenda may not include comfort or minimal pain.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I don’t have to. God is big enough to handle the future while helping us cope with the present. We have much to be thankful for. Thank you for walking with me.

When disease hits too close to home
originally posted on June 28, 2018

I’ve been dealing with some annoying health stuff for the last 9 months or so.  Nothing life-threatening, but I’m working with Doctors, changing my diet, taking meds and supplements, evaluating potential causes, blah, blah, blah…you know the drill.  Even though it’s not something that will kill me, it is frustrating that my body isn’t working as well as it used to.  I’m not that old, really.  But when you pile this recent development on top of my near-sightedness, my semi-frequent migraines, and a slightly unstable right shoulder…I get the feeling that it’s not going to get any easier as the years continue to pile up.

When I look around at my family, it seems I’m not the only one.  There’s high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, bi-polar struggles, and a long list of other maladies.  I’m sure you and your family could come up with a similar type of list. 

As we deal with these health issues now, it’s really easy to get frustrated.  I mean, God created everything…and could easily stop any of the health problems that we encounter.  So, why doesn’t He?

We can usually come to some sort of peace about this troubling question by reminding ourselves that we live in a fallen world, that Jesus will make everything right when He returns, and that we have perfectly good resurrection bodies to look forward to.  However, there are some situations when these answers fall short or feel hollow.  The one that really gets to me is my brother.  He has MS.  Wait…before going further, let me re-frame that for you:

My younger brother, who is in his mid-30s, has three kids under the age of 10, faithfully loves his wife, leads in a church that he helped plant, is active in his community, one of the hardest workers I know, a student of the Bible, works in end-of-life hospice care taking care of people who need help, loves Jesus and knows that he is loved by Jesus…he has Multiple Sclerosis.

MS is a failure of the immune system to function properly.  Instead of protecting his body, his immune system attacks him.  He has made adjustments to his life, but the MS has already taken ground – and it doesn’t give ground back.  He could be fine today and be in a wheelchair tomorrow, or he may be fine for many years…but all MS patients end up in the same place.  His body, in the end, will destroy itself.

I can quickly move from frustration to anger over this.  Serious, indignant, vision-blurred-by-tears anger.  God could show up and fix this, RIGHT?  So…what is He waiting for?  Why delay healing my brother?  Why wait for the resurrection?


Did you know…when Jesus was on Earth, He was asked these same questions?

The questions weren’t part of a parable or found in one of His teachings.  Jesus was asked, straight-up.  Real life was happening.  They loved Jesus and He loved them – but they were looking right at Jesus for answers as they dealt with the most unfair moment of their lives.

I need to know how Jesus answered their questions, and there are a few more things I am wondering:

What did Jesus say?
Did He show any emotion?
Did He seem to even care?

We’ll look for answers to these questions as we launch into this next study.  For now, I am clinging to something Paul wrote many years later:

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.

Our current bodies are falling apart, and it is hard to deal with.  The diseases we encounter in this fallen world are vicious, malicious, and ruthless.  It’s especially difficult to helplessly watch the people we love succumb to them.  But no matter how heavy these moments are, God helps us keep the proper perspective:

2 Corinthians 4:17
For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.

Today’s crushing avalanche will be nothing more than a light mist in comparison to the eternal glory to be revealed in us. 

Even if we cannot see it right now, because our eyes are blurred by tears.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - What's pursuing you?

What’s pursuing you?
originally posted on May 18, 2017

Ever feel as if something is chasing you?  We can have lingering thoughts, feelings, or memories that just won’t let go.  Their pursuit of us is constant, even though it can take different forms.  Sometimes, it’s over-bearing, always-present.  Other times, we’re able to shove it out of our minds, only to have it resurface again later (and usually when we’re drifting off to sleep, right?).

The pieces of our past can hound us in many ways.  Pain, shame, hate, anger, things we said, things we didn’t say…just to name a few.  Antagonistic people, or even those who are out-right enemies, can dominate our thinking and the thought of them can doggedly chase us down.

I’ve said many times that I love the real-ness we find in the book of Psalms.  The various psalmists explore all aspects of life, often laying out their extremely-raw emotions before God.  And we don’t see any lightning bolts striking down the psalmists for their words, either.  Instead, we find that their petitions, questions, and wrestling drive them toward God, not away. 

David is always a good example of one who openly talked with God, and in one of his psalms we find a mindset that can help us deal with the thoughts and people that pursue us.  Read Psalm 23, and pay close attention to the last stanza:

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.
He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters. 

He renews my life;
He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake.
Even when I go through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff – they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.

David marvels at how God has no problem with settling down for food in the presence of [David’s] enemies.  To us, that’s not the time to sit down to a nice meal.  If enemies are present, then we would think it’s time to take cover or prepare for battle…but with God on his side, David knows he is safe to camp out where God has him.

But it’s one of the lines afterward that really opens my eyes.  Despite being in the presence of [his] enemies, David isn’t chased by them forever.  Because he is with God, David recognizes that only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life.

His enemies are around, there are and will be hard situations in life…but when David looks at the bigger picture, the one from God’s perspective, he finds that only God’s goodness and faithful love have been chasing after him.

That’s the key for us, too.  When our thoughts are being overtaken by memories of old sins or difficulties in the present, we need to look at life from God’s perspective.  From His vantage point, we’ll see clearly and be able to trust Him with our present and all the days of [our]life.

A few years back, a Christian band released a great orchestra-rock song about recognizing that our past doesn’t control us anymore, even when we feel pursued by memories and feelings.  The link below is to a video of the song’s lyrics.

Disciple – Dear X, You Don’t Own Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9yIZnypqBk

Keep Pressing,
Ken

When disease hits too close to home

I’ve been dealing with some annoying health stuff for the last 9 months or so.  Nothing life-threatening, but I’m working with Doctors, changing my diet, taking meds and supplements, evaluating potential causes, blah, blah, blah…you know the drill.  Even though it’s not something that will kill me, it is frustrating that my body isn’t working as well as it used to.  I’m not that old, really.  But when you pile this recent development on top of my near-sightedness, my semi-frequent migraines, and a slightly unstable right shoulder…I get the feeling that it’s not going to get any easier as the years continue to pile up.

When I look around at my family, it seems I’m not the only one.  There’s high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, bi-polar struggles, and a long list of other maladies.  I’m sure you and your family could come up with a similar type of list. 

As we deal with these health issues now, it’s really easy to get frustrated.  I mean, God created everything…and could easily stop any of the health problems that we encounter.  So, why doesn’t He?

We can usually come to some sort of peace about this troubling question by reminding ourselves that we live in a fallen world, that Jesus will make everything right when He returns, and that we have perfectly good resurrection bodies to look forward to.  However, there are some situations when these answers fall short or feel hollow.  The one that really gets to me is my brother.  He has MS.  Wait…before going further, let me re-frame that for you:

My younger brother, who is in his mid-30s, has three kids under the age of 10, faithfully loves his wife, leads in a church that he helped plant, is active in his community, one of the hardest workers I know, a student of the Bible, works in end-of-life hospice care taking care of people who need help, loves Jesus and knows that he is loved by Jesus…he has Multiple Sclerosis.

MS is a failure of the immune system to function properly.  Instead of protecting his body, his immune system attacks him.  He has made adjustments to his life, but the MS has already taken ground – and it doesn’t give ground back.  He could be fine today and be in a wheelchair tomorrow, or he may be fine for many years…but all MS patients end up in the same place.  His body, in the end, will destroy itself.

I can quickly move from frustration to anger over this.  Serious, indignant, vision-blurred-by-tears anger.  God could show up and fix this, RIGHT?  So…what is He waiting for?  Why delay healing my brother?  Why wait for the resurrection?


Did you know…when Jesus was on Earth, He was asked these same questions?

The questions weren’t part of a parable or found in one of His teachings.  Jesus was asked, straight-up.  Real life was happening.  They loved Jesus and He loved them – but they were looking right at Jesus for answers as they dealt with the most unfair moment of their lives.

I need to know how Jesus answered their questions, and there are a few more things I am wondering:

What did Jesus say?
Did He show any emotion?
Did He seem to even care?

We’ll look for answers to these questions as we launch into this next study.  For now, I am clinging to something Paul wrote many years later:

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.

Our current bodies are falling apart, and it is hard to deal with.  The diseases we encounter in this fallen world are vicious, malicious, and ruthless.  It’s especially difficult to helplessly watch the people we love succumb to them.  But no matter how heavy these moments are, God helps us keep the proper perspective:

2 Corinthians 4:17
For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.

Today’s crushing avalanche will be nothing more than a light mist in comparison to the eternal glory to be revealed in us. 

Even if we cannot see it right now, because our eyes are blurred by tears.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

Responding to injustice

There’s a lot of anger floating around these days.  Seems like everyone is upset about something, whether it is a personal situation or a national event.  Typically, our anger originates from a sense of injustice – we have something wrong happen to us, or we witness a wrong committed against others – and we want the injustice to be corrected. 

We were created in the image of God, which means we reflect some of His attributes.  Our desire for justice is one of them.  Our problem comes in that because we are sinful and fallen, our desire for justice is polluted.  When our selfishness and incomplete perspective is mixed with our hunger for seeing a wrong made right, the outcome is anything but clean.  The root of our motivation may be pure, but the execution of the “fix” often misses the mark.

Ideally, our anger at the situation and our inability to right the wrong would drive us toward God.  Since He is uncorrupted by sin and He has full understanding of all perspectives, He knows exactly how justice should be served.  However, we are all too ready to take God’s place in matters like these.  We much prefer the swift correction we feel our anger favors.  All too often, we allow ourselves to rage against injustice because we want it corrected NOW.

As we study Scripture, we are constantly reminded that what we go through and how we feel are not “new” things to humanity.  The ancient ones wrestled with the same issues that we do.  After observing the effects of those who actively chose to do evil towards others, David gave this instruction:

Psalm 37:8-9
Refrain from anger and give up your rage;
do not be agitated – it can only bring harm.
For evildoers will be destroyed,
but those who put their hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

David recognized that an immediate reaction to the anger he felt would not bring about the true justice he desired.  The temptation was to trust himself to rectify the wrong and punish the evildoer.  The rest of the psalm fleshes out the idea that it is God’s responsibility to ensure that wickedness is dealt with.

David was likely thinking of what God told Israel would happen to those who trusted in other gods:

Deuteronomy 32:35-36
“Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay.
In time their foot will slip,
for their day of disaster is near,
and their doom is coming quickly.”

The Lord will indeed vindicate His people
and have compassion on His servants

We shouldn’t ignore injustice; we shouldn’t choose to be inactive.  Instead, our responsibility is to continue to serve the Lord where we are, putting our hope and trust in Him to correct the wrongs in the world around us.  In His timing, not ours.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

What's pursuing you?

Ever feel as if something is chasing you?  We can have lingering thoughts, feelings, or memories that just won’t let go.  Their pursuit of us is constant, even though it can take different forms.  Sometimes, it’s over-bearing, always-present.  Other times, we’re able to shove it out of our minds, only to have it resurface again later (and usually when we’re drifting off to sleep, right?).

The pieces of our past can hound us in many ways.  Pain, shame, hate, anger, things we said, things we didn’t say…just to name a few.  Antagonistic people, or even those who are out-right enemies, can dominate our thinking and the thought of them can doggedly chase us down.

I’ve said many times that I love the real-ness we find in the book of Psalms.  The various psalmists explore all aspects of life, often laying out their extremely-raw emotions before God.  And we don’t see any lightning bolts striking down the psalmists for their words, either.  Instead, we find that their petitions, questions, and wrestling drive them toward God, not away. 

David is always a good example of one who openly talked with God, and in one of his psalms we find a mindset that can help us deal with the thoughts and people that pursue us.  Read Psalm 23, and pay close attention to the last stanza:

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.
He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters. 

He renews my life;
He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake.
Even when I go through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff – they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.

David marvels at how God has no problem with settling down for food in the presence of [David’s] enemies.  To us, that’s not the time to sit down to a nice meal.  If enemies are present, then we would think it’s time to take cover or prepare for battle…but with God on his side, David knows he is safe to camp out where God has him.

But it’s one of the lines afterward that really opens my eyes.  Despite being in the presence of [his] enemies, David isn’t chased by them forever.  Because he is with God, David recognizes that only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life.

His enemies are around, there are and will be hard situations in life…but when David looks at the bigger picture, the one from God’s perspective, he finds that only God’s goodness and faithful love have been chasing after him.

That’s the key for us, too.  When our thoughts are being overtaken by memories of old sins or difficulties in the present, we need to look at life from God’s perspective.  From His vantage point, we’ll see clearly and be able to trust Him with our present and all the days of [our] life.

A few years back, a Christian band released a great orchestra-rock song about recognizing that our past doesn’t control us anymore, even when we feel pursued by memories and feelings.  The link below is to a video of the song’s lyrics.

Disciple – Dear X, You Don’t Own Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9yIZnypqBk

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Getting specific

Sometimes when I am presented with an important teaching, I need a little help to flesh out exactly how this new concept applies to where I’m at.  As such, I love it when a speaker moves from the theoretical to the practical. 

Paul has just given Timothy instruction on the importance of the believers in Ephesus to lead a tranquil and quiet life, a life that is characterized by both godliness and dignity.  This kind of life will stand out to those outside God’s family and will serve a launching pad for telling others about Jesus.  (see 1 Timothy 2:1-7).

Thankfully, Paul moves quickly to give Timothy instruction for how the believers in Ephesus can display these characteristics.

1 Timothy 2:8
Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument.

The first task for the men is to lead in prayer.  The importance of this task in each family and within God’s family cannot be understated.  Since the men are to act as the leader and High Priest for their family, as well as provide leadership within the church, their individual connection to God must be a top priority.

Paul’s practical instruction also comes with specifics about their posture and attitude in prayer – both of which reveal the focus of their heart toward God and others.  While lifting up…hands in prayer was a common “prayer position” in ancient days, it was more of a symbolic gesture meant to convey the person’s inner openness to God.  Throughout Scripture, a person’s hands are also symbolic of their activities, and Paul description of lifting up holy hands suggests that as the men pray, the offering of their daily actions are undefiled by sin and free from wickedness.

When a man focuses on devotion to prayer and godly conduct, and does them without anger or argument, the world will plainly see the difference God can make in a man’s life.

Paul also has specific instruction for the women in the Ephesian church so that they, too, know how to best represent God to the culture around them.

1 Timothy 2:9-10
Also, the women are to dress themselves in modest clothing, with decency and good sense; not with elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls, or expensive apparel, but with good works, as is proper for women who affirm that they worship God.

Keep in mind that these instructions were written to believers.  These women, especially the wealthy ones, would set an example within the church family.  If an unbeliever comes in with little means, they could begin to wonder if you have to be rich in order to be saved.  Another potential issue could arise if another believer has little means, they could conclude that they aren’t favored by God because others have so much more to display.  Additionally, there is a risk of division among even the affluent believers.  The exorbitant displays of wealth among them will cause problems as egos rise as they try to outdo one another in dress, hairstyle, and jewelry.

Paul’s contrast here is really between works and wardrobe.  How is a woman displaying her understanding of value within God’s family?  The ancient upper class women would spend an excessive amount of time on their elaborate hairstyles and expensive apparel; these things would draw attention to themselves rather than to the God they claim to serve.  Paul says that a woman’s value isn’t in the perfection of her outward appearance, rather her beauty comes from her decency and good sense.  Both of these lead to a reputation of good works and point others toward God.

Paul’s directions to both groups cut against our natural, self-promoting tendencies…which is precisely why the world will notice the difference God makes in a person’s life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Remembering where we came from

“Don’t forget where you came from”

We’re all familiar with the intention of this phrase.  Whenever someone moves on to something bigger than their previous circumstances, this piece of advice usually finds its way to them.  We want the recipient to keep his or her new life in a certain perspective, to remember the lessons (and a few of the people) that brought them to this new phase in life.

Similarly, we can find this same advice scattered throughout the Bible, in both the Old Testament and the New Testament.  However, instead of wanting us to pull specific lessons from our past to guide us through our future circumstances, each author wants his readers to find value in remembering who we were before God met with us.

Paul brings up the idea of remembering our lives before meeting Christ in his letter to the believers in Colossae.  Although he had never personally met them, he knew their pre-Christ story – because we all start from the same place.  We all start out separated from God.  Speaking about Christ, Paul wrote:

Colossians 1:19-22
For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him,
and through Him to reconcile everything to Himself
by making peace through the blood of His cross –
whether things on earth or things in heaven.

And you were once alienated and hostile in mind because of your evil actions.  But now He has reconciled you by His physical body through His death, to present you holy, faultless, and blameless before Him

Did you see where we were before God took action?

We were alienated.  We were unable to participate in a relationship with the One who created us.  The Greek word for alienated means to be shut out from one’s fellowship and intimacy – a perfect description of how separated we were from God. 

We were estranged from God, but don’t think for one moment that we were the victim in the relationship.  For not only were we alienated, but we were also hostile in mind.  We were enemies toward God in our thoughts and feelings; we were angry with Him.  We resisted His overtures.  We argued.  We sought to bring God down to our level and our definition of what a relationship with Him would look like.  We accused Him of expecting too much, that His standard of perfection was unrealistic.

But was it God’s fault that the relationship was broken?
Were we justified in our hostile attitude?

Paul gives the reason for our alienation and our hostility – it was because of your evil actions.  Our own rebellion and our rejection of God is what lead to our separation from the One who created us and gave us our purpose.  We did this to ourselves, with no recourse to make amends.

It is while we were still in our rebellious, alienated, angry state that God chose to act.  We are reconciled only because God made a way to do so.  Keeping this mind reminds us of how we have been brought back into relationship and purpose because of God’s actions.  Remembering where we came from helps us to stay both focused and thankful.

Keep Pressing,
Ken