Flashback Favorite - Help! I married my opposite.

Help! I married my opposite.
Originally posted on September 23, 2021  

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

He’s more than they realized

Throughout Matthew’s account of Jesus’ life and ministry, he recorded a lot of events.  When you read through his text, he quickly moves from one setting to the next.  A story, then an interaction, a crowd teaching, then a confrontation, next a healing, and on and on and on.  The transition between most events can feel like switching scenes from a movie or TV show. 

There is one significant event that Matthew captures in just 5 verses – when Jesus stilled the storm.  This incident took much longer to unfold in real time than the time it takes to read, but there’s still a lot to notice in these few verses:

Matthew 8:23-27
As He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him.  Suddenly, a violent storm arose on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves – but Jesus kept sleeping.

So the disciples came and woke Him up, saying, “Lord save us!  We’re going to die!”

He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?”  Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.  The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this?  Even the winds and the sea obey Him!”

Hardened, trained, experienced fishermen thought they were going to die – that’s how big this storm must have been!  The Sea of Galilee was, and still is, infamous for its sudden, violent storms.  While several of the disciples knew this and had survived many of its storms, this one was too much.  And of all things – Jesus was sleeping!

When the harried disciples finally woke Jesus up, He simply told the winds and the waves to “Knock it off” and they stopped.  Immediately, there was clear skies and calm waters.  What I want to note is the question Matthew recorded the stunned disciples asking each other: What kind of man is this?

According to Dr. Thomas Constable:

The Israelites viewed the sea as an enemy that human beings could not control. Throughout the Old Testament it epitomizes what is wild, hostile, and foreboding. It stood for their enemies in some of their literature.

The stilling of the storm is the first nature miracle Matthew records in his gospel.  What is interesting to note is that the ability to calm the seas is a characteristic that the Israelites believed only God could do.  Here is just one of the texts representing their understanding.  Notice how closely the details of this psalm matches Matthew’s account:

Psalm 107:23-32
Others went to sea in ships, conducting trade on the vast water.
They saw the Lord’s works, His wonderous works in the deep.
He spoke and raised a stormy wind that stirred up the waves of the sea.
Rising up to the sky, sinking down to the depths,
their courage melting away in anguish,
they reeled and staggered like a drunkard,
and all their skill was useless.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and He brought them out of their distress.
He stilled the storm to a whisper, and the waves of the sea were hushed.
They rejoiced when the waves grew quiet.
Then He guided them to the harbor they longed for.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love
and His wonderous works for all humanity.
Let them exalt Him in the assembly of the people
and praise Him in the council of the elders.

So, the disciples’ question of What kind of man is this? may actually have been more of a rhetorical question than one of simple bewilderment.  Through this miracle, they were beginning to realize that the rabbi they were following may actually be the God-man the nation had been waiting for.

For us, we should absolutely cry out to God when we’re in trouble and in need of rescue.  When He provides a way out, don’t take His provision for granted.  Instead, reflect on what God has done and realize that His ability to rescue is just a glimpse of who He is.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Finding hope as the world grows dark

The world news headlines are crazy right now, aren’t they?

Israel is at war with Hamas.  Hostages have been taken.  No one knows if other countries are going to get involved or if it’s all just political posturing.  Protests are happening around the world and people are taking sides, some pro-Palestinian, some pro-Israel.  Everything around the situation is tense.

In the US, Republicans and Democrats can’t get along.  Shocking, right?  But over the last few years, party in-fighting is become just as vicious as the fights that happen between the two major parties.  There appears to be no end in sight for this kind of behavior.

AI is going to take over the planet in the next 10 years.  No one knows how, outside of jokes and memes, but the serious thinkers are quite scared of the potential disruption to nearly every industry.  And let’s not talk about what will happen when countries start using AI against their enemies.

Homelessness is reaching peak crisis levels in several major US cities.  No solution is perfect or simple, and governments who stall will only allow the situation to worsen.  Drugs, crime, mental illnesses, and a variety of other tough topics make the homeless crisis a complicated and disheartening predicament.

Those are just four topics I quickly pulled off of a news app on my phone.  There are plenty more stories to choose from.  National stories, local stories, personal stories…the more we look at the world around us, the harder it seems to find answers.  The more we read or watch the news, the darker the world becomes.  It’s difficult to think through any one of these problems, but to have all of them happening all at once?  Totally overwhelming.

The Sunday School response to all these situations would be to simply say, “Jesus is the answer!” And while many would roll their eyes, scoff at the suggestion, or question how Jesus would deal with the complex issues of our times…what if a person who lived through similarly tough times was making that claim, would it change our response?

I’d like us to consider the life of the apostle John.  He wrote 5 of the books in the New Testament – one gospel, three letters, and the book of Revelation.  John's gospel was likely one of the last books of the Bible to be written. Many scholars date John writing it in the late 1st century, even into the early 90's. Why is that significant? Because by that time, the world had changed a lot since John was following Jesus as a teenager in the early 30's. He lived through the Christian persecution primarily by the Jews in the 40's and 50's, but persecution had become common among the rest of the non-Jewish world as well.  He saw Jerusalem destroyed by the Romans in 70 AD and his people scattered among the nations.  Roman politics would make our current political issues look like playground disputes.  During John’s lifetime, the Roman emperor has changed every 10 years or so, with each one bringing significant fluctuations in personality, rulership, and attitude towards Christians.  Rome was a very pagan country and did not allow any challenge to the emperor’s rule.  On top of all of this, Rome as a country and as a governing body has only gotten stronger during John’s lifetime…and John still writes:

John 1:4-5
In [Jesus] was life, and that life was the light of men.  That light shines in the darkness, and yet the darkness did not overcome it.

That's a lot of hope and trust right there. Regardless of the growing darkness John has witnessed, he still points to the light that was not overcome.  In this light, John found life, and he shared it with anyone he could. 

Did John stop the “evil empire”?  No.  In fact, he was exiled at one point.
Did John put an end to persecution? No.  He experienced it himself.
Did John see the restoration of his home nation? No.  Israel was decimated during his life.

However, despite all this darkness, John insists that Jesus shines in the darkness, and yet the darkness did not overcome Him. 

When we check out the news and look at the problems in our world today, it’s easy to get caught up in finding a human-driven solution to try and fix everything.  It may be counter-intuitive, but following John’s example will bring us towards real resolutions.  John focused on the light, not the darkness.  This doesn’t mean he just fixated on positive, fluffy thoughts and ignored everything else.  His statement above doesn’t allow that.  Instead, John recognized that the light came from the life of Jesus.   

The life of Jesus isn’t something we can simply imitate…we can’t do that in and of ourselves.  However, Jesus will give us His eternal life when we believe in Him for it.  A little later in his gospel, John records this promise of Jesus:

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

No need to imitate what God freely offers for us to possess.  Believe in Jesus for eternal life, and He gives it to you – it’s as simple as that.  And when you have that eternal life, you can be the same kind of light that Jesus is in the darkness.  The darkness is still there, but we won’t be overcome by it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: How to stay focused while praying

Been struggling with focus during prayer recently. Sometime we need to be reminded of something we’ve previously learned.

How to stay focused while praying
Originally posted on December 23, 2015

About a year ago, I started a series exploring the way Jesus prayed.  My theory was that if God’s goal is to make me more Christ-like, then I should probably take a look at how, when, and where Jesus prayed.  Out of the numerous things I learned, two observations of Jesus’ prayer life stuck out:

First, that He frequently went off to quiet places to spend time with the Father in prayer.  Out of a variety of circumstances, Jesus was constantly devoting chunks of alone time to talking with His Father in Heaven.

Second, Jesus’ main concern in His prayers was the Father.  Jesus was primarily focused on the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory.  His aim was to increase the Father’s glory – which means to enhance the Father’s reputation and honor in the world, and this was primarily achieved as Jesus completed the mission that the Father gave Him to accomplish.

As rich as that study was, as I moved on to other parts of Scripture I didn’t always remember these main lessons.  Looking back, my prayer life has both ebbed and flowed…tossed about by circumstance and my mental state of the moment.  One particular item I’ve struggled with is staying focused while praying. 

When I pray, I’m usually sitting in a quiet room with my eyes closed to avoid visual distractions.  My conversation with the Father starts out alright, but about half way through the fourth sentence…my mind jumps to something that needs my attention later on in the day, or I remember what I had forgotten to buy at the store, or I start to process a relationship problem that needs addressed at work or with a friend or in my family. 

It never fails…my mind picks the worst possible moment to leave the deep waters of relationship with the Father, and I starting splashing around in shallow thoughts of the smaller parts of life.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve apologized to God for mentally abandoning our quiet time together.

I don’t think my struggle is all that unique, either.  In various forms, I’ve heard other Christians voice similar difficulties.  I suspect that ancient believers also dealt with this, because towards the end of his letter to the believers in Colossae, Paul wrote

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving.

Since Jesus’ death and resurrection bridged the gap between us and God, we know that as a child of God, we can pray at any time to our Father.  However, I think we tend to take advantage of that freedom and we get comfortable with sporadic communication.  Paul’s instruction here is to make prayer a priority, something we are devoted to.  Just like Jesus purposely setting aside chunks of time, we should as well.  Early morning, late night, commuting to work, or wherever we can consistently get time for just us and the Father; we need to make the time and protect that time from other things that will try to distract us.

This is where I’m so grateful for the second half of Paul’s instruction – stay alert in it with thanksgiving.  When my mind drifts off, I can immediately refocus my attention by thanking God for something, anything.  Giving thanks takes the focus off of me and my agenda because it makes me look toward the person I’m saying “Thank you” to.

As I have been applying Paul’s instruction, I’m realizing how a lack of thanksgiving has kept me unfocused…and being unfocused has prevented me from growing deeper with the Father.  So I need to make sure I’m purposely scheduling chunks of time with the most important Person in my life, and also telling Him about all the parts of my life that I am thankful for.  I’m certain that as I do this, my concern for the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory will increase.  Then I will begin praying like Jesus did, because my relationship with the Father will be a lot like Jesus’ relationship with the Father.

Maturity, growth, and deep relationship will not happen if we give God some sporadic moments of talk during our week.  The richness of a relationship with our Creator will only happen as we devote time to Him.  Will you make that choice?  The first step is simply saying “Thank you”.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Help! I married my opposite.

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The “how” of living the Christian life

Last time, we learned that the Christian life is a miracle of resurrection – that after we believe in Jesus for eternal life, God is the one (not us) who empowers our mortal bodies to accomplish the good desires He has given us.

And while that truth lifts a great weight off of our shoulders, you may have the same question I had when I was first exposed to this teaching: That’s great to know that I don’t have to muscle through my desire to do good and my inability to consistently do it…but…exactly how does God empower my spiritually dead body?

Fortunately, Paul got real specific about this topic with the group of believers in the city of Corinth. 

2 Corinthians 3:18
We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.

In the preceding verses (2 Corinthians 3:12-16), Paul is clear that the mirror he is referring to is the Scriptures.  While the Old Testament was The Scriptures of Paul’s day, the New Testament describes how Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament Scriptures and the resulting, permanent adjustment He made to our relationship to God.  As such, the same mirror analogy applies to the New Testament Scriptures, and God uses the entirety of the Bible to change us.  As for seeing the glory of the Lord, consider the following verses:

John 1:14
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.  We observed His glory, the glory as the one and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:18
No one has ever seen God.  The one and only Son, who is Himself God and is at the Father’s side – He has revealed Him.

The Scriptures – both Old and New Testament – reveal who Jesus is.  We see His excellence, His grace, His kindness, His righteous anger, His love, His tenacity, His creativity, His plan…we see that He is the way, the truth, and the life…and most of all, we see His glory.  Jesus is the glory of the Father.  Jesus is our perfect representation of who God is and what He is like. 

The Scriptures are the mirror for us to see the glory of the Lord…The Scriptures are the mirror for us to see Jesus.  Look at the rebuke Jesus gave to the religious egg-heads of His day:

John 5:39-40
You pore over the Scriptures because you think you have eternal life in them, and yet they testify about Me.  But you are not willing to come to Me so that you may have life.

They used the text to justify how good they were before God, how much better they saw themselves as compared to others.  However, they had completely missed the point of reading/studying/memorizing Scripture.  The fulfillment of Scripture was standing right in front of them…and they missed it.  In fact, because they were so wrapped up in their own outward goodness, they were not willing to see Jesus for who He is. 

There were other times Jesus pointed out this fundamental truth – that all Scripture was pointing to Him:

Luke 24:27
Then beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He [Jesus] interpreted for them the things concerning Himself in all the Scriptures.

Luke 24:44-45
He told them, “These are My words that I spoke to you while I was still with you – that everything written about Me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets, and the Psalms must be fulfilled.”  Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.

We cannot properly understand the Scriptures until we recognize that they are the reflection of Jesus.  If we go to the Bible for any other reason, we will miss the point.  But…if we approach the Bible with the mindset that they are about Him (and not us)…then we will observe His glory and be transformed by the reflection…transformed to be like Jesus, step by step, and growing from glory to glory throughout our lifetime.

Most Christians, if they look at their Bibles at all, read them because they feel “they have to”, or they feel guilty if they don’t, or they want to find a way to prove themselves right on a certain topic.  Don’t miss this – if we go to the Scriptures to find Jesus, if we spend time there to understand who He is…the reflection of Him in the Scriptures will change us to be like Him. 

That is how Jesus empowers our mortal bodies to live the Christian life – He does it by making us more like Him.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Was Jesus short?

When our boys were young and prone to get in to trouble, I would sometimes tell them that the average height of a Jewish man in Jesus’ day was 5’1”.  If that warning didn’t click with them right away, I would then remind them that their mother is also 5’1”…Which means, boys, that your mom sees eye-to-eye with God – so don’t mess with her!

Most estimates have first-century Jewish men ranging in height anywhere from 5’0” to 5’5”.  The Bible doesn’t say anything about how tall Jesus stood.  It’s not like the Bible totally ignores physical descriptions of people – whenever there is a unique feature about a person, it’s acknowledged: Esau was red and hairy (Genesis 25:25), Saul was head-and-shoulders taller than everyone (1 Samuel 9:2), and David was “ruddy” and handsome (1 Samuel 16:12).  While the gospels may tell us about what Jesus taught and how He lived, they give us no clue as to how we would pick Jesus out of a crowd.

The only approximate description of Jesus comes from the prophet Isaiah, when he gave a rather unheroic description of Jesus’ appearance:

Isaiah 53:2-3
He grew up before him like a young plant and like a root out of dry ground.
He didn’t have an impressive form or majesty that we should look at him,
no appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was.
He was like someone people turned away from; he was despised, and we didn’t value him.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement for us to come to Jesus because He “looks the part” of what we want in a savior.

Instead of what Isaiah detailed, our modern-day pictures of Jesus align more with today’s standards.  Have you ever noticed how our portrayals of Jesus have him about 6’1”, a solid 210 pounds, and the tallest person in the picture?  In all media – paintings, movies, color book pictures, Bible covers – He always has long hair and often looks Swedish.  When in reality, Jesus was probably around 5’1”, had short dark hair, a middle-eastern complexion (likely much darker than us Westerners assume), a round face, and average-at-best looks.

But why even bring this up, right?  Does how we visualize what Jesus looked like make any real difference?  Honestly…yeah, it could…because it’s the start of a very slippery slope.  You see, whenever we imagine Jesus having physical traits more “like us” instead of what’s true, it is a very short trip to begin taking other aspects of God and making them in our image.  When Jesus is “like us”, we immediately assume that all those not-like-us or not-liked-by-us are the ones who aren’t acceptable to God.

I love Todd Agnew’s song My Jesus, as it challenges many of our assumptions.  Here is a portion of the lyrics:

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins.
But the Word says He was battered and scarred or did you miss that part?
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him.

'Cause my Jesus bled and died.
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these.
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable.
So which one do you want to be?

'Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church.
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet.
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud,
And I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd.

How we imagine Jesus strongly influences how we expect to partner with Him in the here-and-now.  Let’s make sure that our portrayals of our hero, high priest, and king accurately reflect who He is – and not some picture of the American dream.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Gotta tell everyone

Big news, especially GOOD big news, is something we want to share with everyone. 

After the Samaritan woman met Jesus at the well, her life was forever changed when she believed in Him as the Messiah and He gave her eternal life.  Her immediate thought was, I gotta tell everyone!

John 4:28-30
Then the woman left her water jar, went into town, and told the people, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.  Could this be the Messiah?”  They left the town and made their way to Him.

She was so excited about finding the Messiah that she left her water jar.  It’s almost comical if you think about it.  Remember, the water jar was the whole reason why she went to the well in the first place.  She brought it along to get the water she thought she needed, but she didn’t need the jug to carry the living water Jesus gave her.  She quickly headed back into town and told everyone her big, good news.

I’ve been thinking about this scene, when she re-enters town…and something has stuck out to me:

She didn’t have all the info about Jesus, but she shared anyway.  I doubt her delivery was all that polished.  She certainly didn’t have a prepared message followed by an alter call. 

It’s obvious she was excited to tell others, but she didn’t force the situation/choice on to her fellow townspeople.  Instead, she took the position of “Come and see for yourself.”  The genuine look on her face and enthusiastic tone of her voice were enough to intrigue others.  As a result, they decided to investigate for themselves.  Some took her word for it, others were not sure.

Because she went and told people about her encounter with Jesus, they left the town and made their way to hear from Jesus themselves.  She didn’t decide from them.  She offered them the choice to meet Jesus or not.  She left it up to her fellow townspeople to decide if they wanted to find out for themselves.

Many of us shy away from telling others about Jesus because we’re afraid we won’t be able to answer someone’s questions or issues.  We end up becoming someone’s “No” answer before we even find out if they are interested.  But there’s no need to worry that you “don’t know enough”.  After all, you know what Jesus has done in your life…you are an expert on how Jesus has impacted you.  Some will take your word for it, others won’t be sure – and that’s ok.  It’s not a ding against us if someone needs more time or information before they believe in Jesus for themselves.

Don’t let anyone convince you (or let you convince yourself) that you need to be an expert-level Christian before you can confidently talk with others about Jesus.  Of course, we should actively learn more and grow closer to God, but there isn’t a specific occasion that suddenly grants you the ability to speak about Jesus to those who haven’t believed in Him yet.

Let’s keep it simple, shall we? 

Did you know that you can tell your “God story” with just 3 words?  And you get to choose the words.  I’m serious!  You can do this.  Check it out:

·       The first word describes your life before you believed
·       The second word describes the catalytic moment, series of events, or person that brought you to believe in Jesus for eternal life
·       The third word describes your life after you believed

Talking to others about Jesus (or “witnessing”, as it’s been called) really is that simple.  You don’t have to know it all or understand it all to share all of what Jesus has done for you.

Any of us can start here, just like the Samaritan woman did.  She had a broken past that was full of poor life choices, and she certainly wasn’t going to be mistaken for a preacher.  And yet, people responded.  She didn’t know all the theological terms or have the answers to all the hard questions.  She had just met Jesus.  She believed in Him.  And that was enough.

So share your story, and let God do the rest.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I hate feeling dumb

Man, I hate feeling dumb. 

When we are in the presence of someone who confidently, calmly knows their stuff, it can be intimidating.  I know I’m not the smartest guy in (most) every room.  That’s pretty easy for me to recognize.  What’s quite a bit harder to deal with in those situations is when I begin to feel sub-standard, my almost immediate urge is to show the person that “At least I know something!” or “Look, even I have something to contribute!”.  For whatever deep-seeded reason, those feelings are there and I have to deal with them.  Call it pride; call it an inferiority complex; call it whatever you want…the reality is that it rarely goes well when I give in to the urge to pipe up.  When I do, I know I come off as weak and needing of validation…which even further demonstrates the superiority of the one “in the know”.  But the flip-side is keeping silent, but that can leave me with feelings of inadequacy.  I would suspect there are at least a few others out there who can relate to my struggle.

I wonder if the Samaritan woman who Jesus met at the well in John 4 also felt that way.  Throughout their conversation, Jesus has pointed out several things that either she personally, or the Samaritans as a group, did not know.  Things like the gift of God, where worship takes place, how worship should take place…and these topics were in addition to Jesus revealing that He was aware of her failed marriages and sinful choices.  Although she actively participated in the conversation, it’s clear that Jesus is the one “in the know”.  After hearing about all the things she did not know, the Samaritan woman eventually replies with something she does know:

John 4:25
The woman said to Him, “I know that the Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ).  “When He comes, He will explain everything to us.”

I wonder if she was tiring of their conversation, or if she was just unsure of where this strange experience of speaking with a Jewish prophet was leading to.  She believed that the Messiah was coming…someday…and He would end all the bickering and confusion about living a real, spiritual life.  And since only the Messiah could do that, perhaps she thought there wasn’t a point in any more talking about husbands or worship or other complicated questions.  Maybe she was trying to wrap up the conversation by contributing something that she did know for sure…but then Jesus’ reply changed everything:

John 4:26
Jesus told her, “I, the one speaking to you, am He.”

Boom.

Mic drop.

This was a paradigm-shifting statement.

I bet you could hear a pin drop.

By learning that Jesus was, in fact, the Messiah…everything in their conversation that seemed strange to the Samaritan woman suddenly made sense: 

If you knew the gift of God, and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would ask Him, and He would give you living water…

Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again.  But whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again.  In fact, the water I will give him will become a well of water springing up in him for eternal life…

Believe me, woman, an hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem…But an hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and in truth…

All the things she didn’t know were clarified because of what she now knows – that this man, Jesus, is the promised Messiah.  Only the gift of God would know about her past and present transgressions.  Only He could offer eternal life from one drink of His living water.  Only the Messiah would be able to explain everything.

Jesus was the one who was “in the know”.  However, He did not lord it over her or chastise her ignorance.  Instead, He gave her the one thing she needed to know: Him. 

Her life was forever changed because of it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - My first assignment

My first assignment
originally posted on April 20, 2016

Wait, I’m going to teach what?

That was my mental reaction to my first teaching assignment from my mentor, Joe.

Our mentor-protégé relationship began when he was teaching a Sunday School class and had asked if anyone was interested in team-teaching with him.  I was eager to teach, but I knew that I had to learn how to better handle the Scriptures if I was going to take on the responsibility of teaching God’s Word to others.  Joe pointed me toward Howard Hendricks’s Living by the Book and, with his guidance, I began to learn how to Observe, Interpret, and then Apply the Bible.

I figured that my first teaching lesson would cover one of the passages I had just learned from…instead, Joe said that my first teaching experience would come from teaching the class how to study the Bible, like I had just learned.  I was instantly nervous and gave Joe a weak “You sure about this?”.  But he assured me that this was the best topic for me to start with.

I profusely prayed over every lesson.  I did my best to communicate the three steps, as well as provide good examples and practice exercises – some lessons went well; others didn’t feel like they went anywhere.  To anyone who was in those first classes of mine, I say thank you for your patience!  That experience was a huge step for me and my growth – both in my relationship with God, as well as in learning how to organize and teach.  It certainly helped to have my mentor’s example, his directions, and his confidence in me.

Reading through the gospels, we find that Jesus did something similar with his protégés:

Matthew 9:35-10:1
Then Jesus went to all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and every sickness.  When He saw the crowds, He felt compassion for them, because they were weary and worn out, like sheep without a shepherd.  The He said to His disciples,

“The harvest is abundant, but the workers are few.  Therefore, pray to the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.”

Summoning His 12 disciples, He gave them authority over unclean spirits, to drive them out and to heal every disease and sickness.

When Jesus told them to pray that the Father would send out workers to reach the people of Israel, I’m sure they agreed that would be a good thing to do…but then Jesus turns around and tells them that it is time for them to go out and participate in the harvest, by doing what they had only previously watched Jesus do!  Imagine everything that must have been going through their minds – anticipation, nervousness, excitement, tension?  Trust me, it was all those and then some.

Matthew 10:5-8
Jesus sent out these 12 after giving them instructions: “Don’t take the road leading to other nations, and don’t enter any Samaritan town.  Instead, go to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.  As you go announce this: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those with skin diseases, drive out demons.  You have received free of charge; give free of charge.”

Notice how Jesus gave them parameters and direction for their first assignment.  They weren’t supposed to go outside of Israel.  They had a very specific message to proclaim.  They were also given authority to do what Jesus did – heal, raise the dead, cleanse, and drive out demons – and they were not to charge the people for these acts, just as Jesus hadn’t charged anyone.

The disciples would eventually be ready for the larger assignment of the Great Commission, where they were instructed to go make disciples of people from all nations.  They were not ready for that yet, though.  The disciples were still going to do what they had seen Jesus do, but their first assignment was on a much smaller scale.

As a mentor, we need to give our protégé assignments that will begin to stretch them now and incrementally prepare them for later.  On the flip side, when our mentor gives us an assignment that seems like a very large leap, we need to trust them. 

Looking back, it was that first assignment that propelled me closer to God and sharpened my teaching ability.  Joe was making sure that I was not going to be just another teacher who can only feed people The Word, but he wanted me to be able to show others how to feed themselves.  Following through on that first assignment, despite how rough it may have been on me and/or the class, has paid many dividends over the years since.

Keep Pressing,
Ken